David Paxton
@dfpaxton.bsky.social
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The Tour de France is off for another year... sadly the last coverage by the ITV4 team, after nearly forty years from the original Channel 4 daily highlights programme.
It's time to give my yearly opinion that this man is overdue a Knighthood!
Trump Death Star... the surface vents leading to the reactor core would be a genuine design flaw in this one.
He will still be known as “His Royal Highnonce”
I remember the Weetabix Oi Squad kicking the shit out of Honey Monster… he was a big man, but he was out of shape, and in the end it was just tawdry.
Flail your hands above shoulder level like unto you are negligent of the consequences!!
“Stewardship”… ffs- he bought twatter to turn it into his personal viewpoint foghorn.
And ultimately, his pish is stale.
well im just glad that us Scotch now feel inclusive, ken?
“He never went to Vietnam, he never saw Vietnam, he never experienced the Battles there”

Oh, hello Mister fucking Pot… I’m mister twatting Kettle!
Still better than the now ubiquitous Idiocracy characters bloating the hierarchies.
"Hans... our shirts... they're brown, do you notice!"🤔

"Hans, a-are we...?"
I still prefer the OG 1970s version... to my very young eyes, it was a sinister version of the Banana Splits house
I think he should have his title reinstated as “His Royal Highnonce”.
2/
Upon arrival, it was discovered that the sample had disappeared from her handbag, possibly purloined by a footpad at Waverley station.

I wish this tale to be true. 🫡
We have a family legend that a great aunt was required (in the days when life was in black and white and people walked in a fast and jerky manner) to visit Edinburgh Infirmary with a urine sample, so she washed out and utilised an old half bottle of whisky.
1/
Just proof that every bad hair decade can be carried off if you have suave confidence…
He‘s probably also one of the best Sherlock Holmes performances- the subtle smackhead/obsessive character is very well done.
One should not mock- she oanly want's what is best for Brian!
"A guy I drusted foh yee-ehrs vonts me dedt"

"That's understandable. I've only known you for five minutes and I want you dead, too"
"Wulstan J. Tempest, destroyer of Zeppelins"
You'd never go one down at dinner party smalltalk, ever!
Next week they have an expose on the Pope's choice of headgear, week after that it's the toilet habits of bears...
I always liked that Colonel Kano appeared to be the horrific love child of Billy Idol and Burt Lancaster!
They're not even deepfake- just simple moron level insulting object filters.
Stella Street 🫡 We shall not see its like again.
"You're a big man, but you're in bad shape.
With me it's a full time job.
Now behave yourself."
Yes. He's a big fan of Charlie Chaplin...
It could be 1849- 19th century digital cameras only got colour CCDs in 1878.