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DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER

@denversweather.bsky.social

2.2K followers 610 following 420 posts

The foulest weather report this side of shittucky. Chaotic Good. Crude but not cruel. Fuck yes, Colorado. Fuck yes, Denver. #COwx #wxtwitter #deathmetal ☠☠☠☠☠☠

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DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · Nov 16

YOOOOO IF I WAS FOLLOWING YOU ON THAT OLD SITE AND I'M NOT FOLLOWING YOU NOW CAN YOU SAY HI IN THE REPLIES HERE?

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DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · 18h

DENVER IT IS FREAKING COLD THIS MORNING THESE MORNINGS ARE GETTING A BIT BRISK FOR MY LIKING BUT THE REST OF THE DAYS ARE JUST FUCKING GLORIOUS EXCEPT FOR THE WIND THE WIND CAN SUCK MY MOLDY PEACHES LOL.

SUN: 77°/47°
MON: 61°/37° WINDY
TUE: 68°/40°
WED: 69°/44°
THU: 63°/46°
FRI: 63°/43°

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DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · 2d

thank you tbh I wrote it first the wrong way and then had to delete and repost with the apostrophes removed because i couldn't bear to look at myself in the mirror with the wrong "its" out there in the world

DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · 2d

DENVER I WILL NEVER TIRE OF CELEBRATING COLORADO’S MAJESTY, ITS AUTUMNAL HUM, ITS LEAFY FALL VIBRATIONS, THE CRUNCHY MORNINGS AND THE ROLLING AFTERNOONS, ALL OF WHICH ARE COMING TO US THIS GLORIOUS MOTHERFUCKING WEEKEND.

FRI: 69°/44° SUNNY 'N' NICE
SAT: 64°/48° MOSTLY SUN
SUN: 70°/51° SUNNY

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DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · 7d

DENVER THE MORNINGS ARE BRISK BUT THE SKIES ARE (MOSTLY) CLEAR, COLORADO FALL IS IN FULL MOTHERFUCKING EFFECT, AND DARE I SAY IT, SWEATER WEATHER IS NIGH.

YOUR FUCKING WEATHER:
SUN: 69°/44°
MON: 64°/48°
TUE: 70°/51°
WED: 67°/51°
THU: 64°/45°
FRI: 65°/44°

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DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · 8d

IS AUTUMNAL RAIN NOT FUCKING MAJESTIC?

DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · 9d

DENVER WE ARE THICK IN THE MIDDLE OF COLORADO'S AUTUMNAL MAJESTY! CAN I GET A HELL YEAH? CAN I GET FUCK YES? CAN I GET A MOTHERFUCKING PUMPKIN SPICED LATTE? HELL NO FUCK STARBUCKS.

LET'S SEE WHAT THE WEEKEND LOOKS LIKE:
FRI: 72°/56° PERFECT
SAT: 74°/57° PERFECT
SUN: 73°/43° PERFECT

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DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · 14d

DENVER, THIS COLD FRONT BRINGS A TOUCH O’ FALL WITH IT, BUT THEN IT’S BACK TO THE LOW 80s, SOMEHOW. IT'S WEIRD, I DON'T MAKE THE RULES, GO COMPLAIN TO THE WEATHER GODS IF U DON'T LIKE IT.

YOUR FUCKIN WEATHER:
SUN: 66° EVENING RAIN
MON: 56° EVENING RAIN
TUE: 65°
WED: 77°
THU: 82°
FRI: 78°

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DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · 16d

DENVER NGL TODAY CAN SUCK MY SWEATY NUTSACK, I KNOW IT'S FRIDAY BUT MY NUTSACK IS SO SWEATY AND IT COULD USE SOME ATTENTION.

YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND:
FRI: 87°, SWEATY
SAT: 81°/47° OOOH
SUN: 69°/46° CHECK OUT THOSE OVERNIGHT LOWS IN THE 40s

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DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · 21d

DENVER, WHEN I SAID WE COULD KISS THOSE 80° HIGHS GOODBYE I WAS FUCKING WRONG. YES, IT IS FALL. BUT FALL IN NAME ONLY. SAD TO SAY THAT THE WEATHER GODS ARE ONCE AGAIN FUCKING WITH US.

YOUR FUCKING WEATHER:
SUN: 85°
MON: 80°
TUE: 82°
WED: 72° PERFECT
THU: 67° PERFECT
FRI: 73° YES

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DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · 23d

DENVER GOD BLESS THIS WEEKEND SAY GOODBYE TO THE 80 DEGREE HIGHS WE MAY SEE ONE OR TWO MORE OF THESE LIL' FUCKS BUT FOR THE MOST PART THEY GONE.

YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND:
FRI: 83°/53°
SAT: 80°/54°
SUN: 80°/53°

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DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · 28d

DENVER, APOLOGIES FOR THE LATENESS, BEEN ROLLING SPLIFFS FOR THE WEATHER GODS IN AN EFFORT TO GET THEM TO WALK BACK TUESDAY’S BULLSHITTERY.

YOUR FUCKING WEEK:
SUN: 82°
MON: 78° PM THUNDERSTORMS
TUE: 54° WTFFF LOWS IN THE 40s WTFFF SOMEONE ALERT MATT
WED: 72°
THU: 80°
FRI: 83° FEELS UNNECESSARY

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DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · Sep 19

DENVER, THIS WEEKEND SUMMER DIES... BUT NOT WITHOUT A FIGHT. JUST REMEMBER, OUR 80-DEGREE DAYS ARE NUMBERED, SOON WE GET A JOYOUS COLORADO AUTUMN, AND JUST AROUND THE CORNER... I CAN HEAR IT CALL... "SWEATER.... WEATHER...."

YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND:
FRI: 81°
SAT: 81°
SUN: 82°

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DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · Sep 14

DENVER, THIS WEEK’S WEATHER IS MORE ALL OVER THE PLACE THAN YOUR LAST THREE EX’S. GOOD THING IT’S JUST SO GODDAMNED BEAUTIFUL HOLY SHITBALLS COLORADO I LOVE THIS FOR US.

YOUR FUCKING WEATHER:
SUN: 76° PERFECT
MON: 85°
TUE: 75° P.M. STORMS
WED: 66° A.M. RAIN
THU: 75° GORGEOUS
FRI: 79°

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DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · Sep 12

DENVER KNOW WHAT? I'M NOT GOING TO COMPLAIN. THIS IS FUCKING FINE. SURE IT COULD BE BETTER, BUT WHY NOT BE HAPPY WITH WHAT WE HAVE.

YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND:
FRI: 83° THUNDERSTORMS
SAT: 79° STORMS
SUN: 77°, PERFECT

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DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · Sep 7

DEFINITELY EXPECTING MORE FROM SEPTEMBER DEFINITELY DON'T LIKE THIS VERY MUCH.

YOUR FUCKING WEATHER, DENVER:
SUN: 83°
MON: 87°
TUE: 86°
WED: 88°
THU: 87°
FRI: 81°

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DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · Sep 5

DENVER WOW I FUCKING LOVE THIS FOR US, THIS IS WHY WE COLORADO.

YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND:
FRI: 71°
SAT: 83°
SUN: 83°

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DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · Aug 31

SO NGL DENVER THIS IS NOT WHAT I’D HOPED FOR RIDING INTO SEPTEMBER BUT IT’S THE WEATHER THAT’S COMING AND WE’RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO CLENCH OUR TEETH A LIL’ AND GET USED TO IT. NOT AWFUL, BUT NOT GREAT.

YOUR FUCKING WEATHER:
SUN: 82°
MON: 85°
TUE: 86°
WED: 85°
THU: 88°
FRI: 80°

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DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · Aug 30

[snorts] jesus man

DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · Aug 29

forgot to include the link but you know with onion stories sometimes all you need is the headline and in this case the subheadline but if you want more, more is here theonion.com/scalpers-jac...

Scalpers Jack Up Price Of Colorado Rockies Ticket To $11

DENVER—In what’s being decried as an outrageous case of price-gouging, scalpers have reportedly begun charging as much as $11 for Colorado Rockies tickets, forcing some baseball fans to pay an unreaso...

theonion.com

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DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · Aug 29

omg @theonion.com

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DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · Aug 29

DENVER WE ARE IN FOR A PERFECT-10, GLORIOUS MOTHERFUCKING LABOR DAY WEEKEND... ROLL THOSE SPLIFFS TIGHT KEEP THE CUPS FULL AND BE SURE TO TIP YOUR BARTENDER.

YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND:
FRIDAY: 81°, THUNDERSTORMS WHATEVS
SATURDAY: 76°, THUNDERSTORMS
SUNDAY: 81° BEAUTIFUL
MONDAY: 83°

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DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · Aug 24

DENVER, SO YOU'RE TELLING ME WE HAVE A WEEK OF SEVENTY DEGREE TEMPERATURES? IN MOTHERFUCKING AUGUST? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH THIS SUMMER. I MEAN I LOVE THIS, BUT

YOUR FUCKING WEATHER:
SUN: 77°
MON: 72° THUNDER ETC.
TUE: 76° STORMS & SHIT
WED: 78° YOU KNOW THE DRILL
THU: 77° THUNDER
FRI: 79°

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DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · Aug 22

DENVER, SHIT'S ABOUT TO GET WET, WITH EVENING THUNDERSTORMS AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE. THE WEATHER GODS MUST BE GETTING FEISTY.

YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND:
FRI: 85° PM STORMS
SAT: 78° PM STORMS OTHERWISE BEAUTIFUL
SUN: 77° PM STORMS AND FREAKING GORGEOUS

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DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @denversweather.bsky.social · Aug 17

actually i just got off the phone with the weather gods and they were all "shit we would have given you 70°s this week but Marcelo was really pissing us off" they wouldn't say why (I asked) but you know what you did dude

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