Apps like Hulu, YouTube, and Instagram have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars perfecting algorithms that can't reconcile the fact that I just want to watch House MD and House MD clips.

I might've been okay with twelve straight years of old man yapping if someone, ANYONE, had managed to bring back Quaaludes.

I really have to sit through four more years of lip smacking mouth-breathers without a single 'Lude. How am I gonna manage?

We are currently sandwiched between two of the most polarizing, heavily differing administrations in American history, yet we still aren't allowed to feed bears in national parks.

Don't let the man keep you down, people! FEED THE BEARS!

I think, in our heart of hearts, we all wanted the UHC shooter to be an ethically-ambiguous twink

Good fanfiction be like:

"The moose had annihilated it's adversary, yet it faced mortal wounds; it lowed, it bellowed, and sang in the voice of our most bitter and beloved artists--H-O-T-T-Oooo-T-o".

Take me back 3 million years, when everything was a primordial dog creature.

- W̶h̶a̶l̶e̶s̶ swamp dogs

- E̶l̶e̶p̶h̶a̶n̶t̶s̶ Dogs with dumb mouths

I wish that AI and robots would finally kill me instead of just giving me the heebie-jeebies

I understand that it's hard to sell a smell through a TV, but why do perfume ads gotta be like that

"No shirt, no shoes, no service".

Ah, you fools: you failed to mention mournful wailing.

Stanley Cup champion and top goal-scorer Tom "Thomas" Wilson is no longer on track for 82 goals.

:/

Let's be real y'all the 2×1 Lego tiles were perfect to chew on

I'm growing more and more suspicious of Doc from Snow White as every day passes

open.spotify.com/track/00zWKK...

New song from the Libidinal C's. It's for those of you who would walk a mile for a roarer.