Author | Lightnews

Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · 4d

Just finished my first day at BluePeak Textiles! So excited to be working on the new project code name “Elephant” 😂 #newjob #insidejoke #KnowBe4 #crushingit #circleoflife

Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · 15d

I am awarding a trophy to #BabySteps for having the worst trophy list of any @playstation.com game I’ve ever seen. You’ll have to walk barefoot to my house to get it though.

Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · 28d

I feel like schools need to begin dedicating an entire semester to teaching the difference between “lose” and “loose”. But at this point it just feels like a loosing battle.

Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · Oct 2

I can't wait to see Bugs Bunny at the Music Super Bowl Halftime Show this year. I hope he does the Barber of Seville.

bugs bunny in a tuxedo is playing a piano

ALT: bugs bunny in a tuxedo is playing a piano

media.tenor.com

Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · Sep 23

• SSX and Burnout logos are shown—camera pans out to reveal they are just fun billboards in the next Battlefield game
• Insomniac/Marvel trailer for upcoming 2037 game Marvel's Darkhawk

Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · Sep 23

@playstation.com State of Play predictions:
• LEGO Twisted Metal trailer
• Life is Strange: Avengers Assemble announcement
• Viva Piñata hats & rideable piñata's revealed for Death Stranding 2
• Knack VR demo

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Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · Sep 22

Why am I so tired today? Because I woke up an hour before my alarm and my brain decided to rewrite Luke Skywalker’s entire role in #TheLastJedi.

Now I just need Kathleen Kennedy’s email address and a time machine. @markhamillofficial.bsky.social can thank me at the 2018 Oscars.

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Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · Sep 17

I haven't posted anything funny in awhile, so here's my desk. In my office. AT WORK. I'm almost 50. I spent real money on these. Someone married me.

Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · Sep 11

I will continue to refresh their webpage every 5 minutes until I see a PS5 logo.

Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · Sep 10

Hey @xbox.com! If you are hurting for money right now, instead of laying people off, why not renew the licenses for #MarvelUltimateAlliance 1 & 2 and re-re-release them on Xbox and PlayStation? I would re-re-buy them since my old copies are sitting on dead consoles. Ple-ple-please?!?!?

Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · Sep 10

a man in a yellow shirt is sitting in a chair holding a cup and pointing

ALT: a man in a yellow shirt is sitting in a chair holding a cup and pointing

media.tenor.com

Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · Sep 10

@insider-gaming.com

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Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · Aug 20

I injured my left arm moving comic book long boxes 54 days ago and it still hurts today. I guess this is my life now.

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Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · Aug 20

Is this 2 or 4 players? And what are the odds of fan favorite Stratos being a DLC character later? 1 in 10? 1 in 2?

Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · Aug 20

Our kitties are addicted to TV and their favorite show "Birdie Show" and the game Stray. We may have to start limiting their screentime.

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Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · Aug 12

In an alternate universe, this collection also prominently features an awesome @robliefeld.bsky.social #Youngblood™ Knight Sabre action figure by McFarlane Toys. Sadly, I am clearly living in the darkest timeline.

Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · Aug 12

I’ve moved beyond just walking into a room and forgetting why I’m there. I now thumb to a specific screen on my phone and forget which app I meant to open.

Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · Aug 1

Today's Weather Forecast: You'll feel like you just woke up in a drainage ditch in Tijuana wearing a wool pantsuit.

Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · Aug 1

The weather forecast for Wisconsin this week should just say, "feels like being smothered to death in a wet sleeping bag."

Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · Aug 1

Update on the weather in Wisconsin: I walked our dogs and when I got home it felt like I had just crawled out of the overweight dog's mouth.

Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · Jul 31

After playing a bunch of #MarvelStrikeForce Danger Room, I can safely say that I hate Endgame Thanos more than puppy cancer.

Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · Jul 27

I was completely invested in an alternate universe where 4 astronauts gain super powers from a cosmic accident and have to fight some silver girl on a flying surfboard and a planet eating giant, but I drew the line at The Thing growing a beard.

Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · Jul 22

Name five games you'd play at any time. Not your top 5 of all time, just five games you'd play any time. (Mmmm… delicious engagement bait).

Dig Dug
BurgerTime
Burnout
SSX
Crash Team Racing

Mat Piscatella @matpiscatella.bsky.social · Jul 22

Name five games you'd play at any time. Not your top 5 of all time, just five games you'd play any time. (Mmmm good engagement bait).

Return to Castle Wolfenstein multiplayer
Rogue
Galaga
Carcassonne (Xbox 360 version)
MLB The Show (while hating myself)

Sasha's Retrobytes 🏳️‍⚧️ @sharkabytes.bsky.social · Jul 21

Name five games you'd play at any time. Not your top 5 of all time, just five games you'd play any time.

The Adventures of Robin Hood (Amiga)
Alien Crush (PCE)
Ridge Racer Type 4 (PS1)
Warframe (Multiplatform)
Streets of Rage 2 (Mega Drive)

Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · Jul 15

The best part about my morning commute to work is that when I arrive, my blood is already pre-boiled.

Darth Smurf X @darthsmurfx.bsky.social · Jul 12

#Superman

And now I just sit back and watch the “Likes” roll in.

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