Dan Kennedy ExNYC
@dankennedyny.bsky.social
Developed/hosted The Moth Podcast, Story Consultant on "True Story w/ Ed and Randall” on Peacock, 3 books, GQ, McSweeneys, Screenwriting work at Paramount/Amblin/F/X. Los Angeles.
https://linktr.ee/dan_kennedy
https://linktr.ee/dan_kennedy
I wrote this for a laugh and love these guys ❤️⚡️ www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/gen...
Gen-X Man Attends Oasis Reunion Concert
So, I’m the same age as Noel and Liam. And they’ll make $50 million each by the end of the tour. Goddammit, I don’t have enough saved. Nowhere near...
www.mcsweeneys.net
September 16, 2025 at 4:06 PM
I wrote this for a laugh and love these guys ❤️⚡️ www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/gen...
I wrote these for @mcsweeneys.net in case you need a day off. Let me know how they go over if you use one! www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/cop...
Copy and Paste Any of These Out-of-Office Replies for Your Personal Use
I am out of the office today and Friday to solve every existential quandary I’ve been putting off arguably since 2023 when, as far as I can tell, I...
www.mcsweeneys.net
April 8, 2025 at 11:33 PM
I wrote these for @mcsweeneys.net in case you need a day off. Let me know how they go over if you use one! www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/cop...
I’m sorry but this was a golden age, even if only in my brain:
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/obs...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/obs...
Obsolete Chain Restaurant Mascots
Gerk Jervis
Gerk Jervis was the mascot of Pancake Tramp locations across America. An animated chef with one eye, he shook when he wasn’t drinking ...
www.mcsweeneys.net
January 3, 2025 at 5:23 AM
I’m sorry but this was a golden age, even if only in my brain:
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/obs...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/obs...
I e been thinking about it and I know it’s happening somewhere: www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/hol...
Holy Christ, It’s Snowing!
Holy Christ, it’s snowing! Fuck, exactly what we never anticipated—not in this gray and frozen month. Martians or race riots, sure, but look outsid...
www.mcsweeneys.net
November 24, 2024 at 9:33 PM
I e been thinking about it and I know it’s happening somewhere: www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/hol...
Enjoy this laugh from the relative innocence of three weeks ago: www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/if-...
If Jack Kerouac Tried to Write On the Road Now
I first met Dean after my wife and I had split up—dude, why is everyone freaking out, it was just a small earthquake. We get it. Move on. Look at e...
www.mcsweeneys.net
November 11, 2024 at 4:19 PM
Enjoy this laugh from the relative innocence of three weeks ago: www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/if-...
Someone here should adapt for television this thing I wrote 3 years ago. Thank you in advance. www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/tra...
Tragedians in Cars Getting Coffee
1.
JERRY SEINFELD: This is a 1995 Land Rover Defender, and everything about it says adventure. Which is perfect, because today I’m getting coffee w...
www.mcsweeneys.net
September 4, 2024 at 5:38 PM
Someone here should adapt for television this thing I wrote 3 years ago. Thank you in advance. www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/tra...
WWe watched 48 Hours again last night and I remembered why I wrote this: www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/a-1...
A 1985 Action Movie Hero Brings Way Too Much Heat and Weird Slang to His Scenes
1.
LIEUTENANT DAVIDSON: We got another call about that bar down on 3rd Street.
HERO: AW, COME ON! What the conk, Lieutenant! Johnson’s out there th...
www.mcsweeneys.net
September 3, 2024 at 2:24 PM
WWe watched 48 Hours again last night and I remembered why I wrote this: www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/a-1...
It's been a minute since I wrote this, but I still think I could emotionally manipulate my way to a baking victory. www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/wha...
What I’d Say to Paul Hollywood If I Were on The Great British Bake Off
“Sorry you feel the cake I made is a bit dry, Paul. It was meant to commemorate the life of my best friend from childhood. He died when we were ten...
www.mcsweeneys.net
September 3, 2024 at 2:22 PM
It's been a minute since I wrote this, but I still think I could emotionally manipulate my way to a baking victory. www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/wha...
Me? Doctor. Script doctor, but still... www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/ive...
I’ve Made Small Tweaks to Three Scenes in Your Sitcom
BEDROOM EXIT/INTO LIVING ROOM
HER: Would you mind telling me where you’ve hidden my shoes?
HER SISTER: What? Moi? I did nothing. No clue what shoes...
www.mcsweeneys.net
September 3, 2024 at 2:20 PM
Me? Doctor. Script doctor, but still... www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/ive...
In which I am not myself www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/my-...
My Recent Interview to Simply Rent a Small House in Los Angeles for Six Months
THEM: Are you the Dan Kennedy who has written all about how to make millions of dollars? You sell a program of some sort to people and say they can...
www.mcsweeneys.net
August 2, 2024 at 9:17 PM
In which I am not myself www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/my-...
My continued apologies for what I write about at McSweeney’s. www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/let...
Let’s Sell Your Basic House for More Than a Million Goddamn Dollars
Folks, I’ve got three questions for you…
What do you mean “how did I get in here”? I’ll ask the questions, sir. I opened the door. But I didn’t op...
www.mcsweeneys.net
October 15, 2023 at 5:06 PM
My continued apologies for what I write about at McSweeney’s. www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/let...
Now that we’re all getting our lives together I thought I’d share my system here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-fuckin-rad-art-of-swedish-death-metal-cleaning
July 2, 2023 at 1:00 AM
Now that we’re all getting our lives together I thought I’d share my system here: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-fuckin-rad-art-of-swedish-death-metal-cleaning