Dan Jordan
@danjordan.bsky.social
Engineer · Game dev · Musician · Writer · Wiseass · Formerly at Red 5 Studios and Disruptor Beam · Creator of Urban Flight, a custom campaign for L4D2 that's so old that it's actually embarrassing that I put it in my bio.
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Sometimes I think you guys aren't considering my feelings
December 2, 2025 at 6:17 AM
Sometimes I think you guys aren't considering my feelings
Light a candle, sit on the couch with your sweetie, and read through an exhaustive account of all the changes Tom Stoppard made to the original draft of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
December 2, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Light a candle, sit on the couch with your sweetie, and read through an exhaustive account of all the changes Tom Stoppard made to the original draft of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
I bet you peasants don't even have a coat bath
December 1, 2025 at 8:57 PM
I bet you peasants don't even have a coat bath
Animal Crossing Tactics
November 30, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Animal Crossing Tactics
when you think you've defeated the halloween candy and then a second heath bar appears
November 30, 2025 at 5:06 PM
when you think you've defeated the halloween candy and then a second heath bar appears
The day after thanksgiving, or: "a dishwasher load of just serving platters"
November 28, 2025 at 4:04 PM
The day after thanksgiving, or: "a dishwasher load of just serving platters"
But consider the smokey chipotle turkey
November 28, 2025 at 1:06 AM
But consider the smokey chipotle turkey
There's too many songs about girls looking like normal angels. We need songs about girls looking like fallen angels
November 27, 2025 at 3:18 PM
There's too many songs about girls looking like normal angels. We need songs about girls looking like fallen angels
I know this is probably 1:30am talking but Reel Big Fish's "Why Do They Rock So Hard?" is probably the most pristine sounding album ever made
November 27, 2025 at 6:33 AM
I know this is probably 1:30am talking but Reel Big Fish's "Why Do They Rock So Hard?" is probably the most pristine sounding album ever made
Happy "we made 10 pounds of mashed potatoes for 7 people" day to all who celebrate
it’s “peel every fruit and vegetable/prep everything that can be made early” day to me and all my fellow Americans who overcommit to a Thanksgiving menu; godspeed
November 26, 2025 at 1:24 PM
Happy "we made 10 pounds of mashed potatoes for 7 people" day to all who celebrate
I don't mean to brag, but scientists are calling the amount of kitkats I've eaten in the last three days "unreal"
November 26, 2025 at 5:44 AM
I don't mean to brag, but scientists are calling the amount of kitkats I've eaten in the last three days "unreal"
Here's some cursed knowledge: in my DAW, you can set up fx chains, name them, and apply them to tracks. Makes sense. So if you modify and save a chain that's used on multiple tracks, what happens? It updates those other tracks, right? Kind of like a prefab in game dev terms? Bzzt. Wrong, idiot.
November 26, 2025 at 5:24 AM
Here's some cursed knowledge: in my DAW, you can set up fx chains, name them, and apply them to tracks. Makes sense. So if you modify and save a chain that's used on multiple tracks, what happens? It updates those other tracks, right? Kind of like a prefab in game dev terms? Bzzt. Wrong, idiot.
A fun consequence of Following The News is that there's so much all the time that when it finally reaches a conclusion like "Bolsonaro is now in jail," if someone were to ask me what he did, I'd have to say that I honestly don't remember
November 25, 2025 at 8:51 PM
A fun consequence of Following The News is that there's so much all the time that when it finally reaches a conclusion like "Bolsonaro is now in jail," if someone were to ask me what he did, I'd have to say that I honestly don't remember
It all starts with a sickass name. We don't give ships sickass names anymore.
spaceships in video games could be cooler we can do better
November 25, 2025 at 6:48 AM
It all starts with a sickass name. We don't give ships sickass names anymore.
It's important to be mature and admit when you're wrong. For example, my wife asked if she could give me the remote. I said yes. She tried to hand it to me but dropped it on the floor, so I was mature and said "I was wrong."
November 25, 2025 at 1:02 AM
It's important to be mature and admit when you're wrong. For example, my wife asked if she could give me the remote. I said yes. She tried to hand it to me but dropped it on the floor, so I was mature and said "I was wrong."
Definitive Star Wars rankings:
- the Special Edition vhs making-of featurettes
- the super Irish episode of Star Wars: Visions
- Hot Fuzz
- the Kenner death star playset
- the autonomous cleaning robot at the grocery store
- Hera Syndulla
- side A of Rush's "Moving Pictures"
- the Special Edition vhs making-of featurettes
- the super Irish episode of Star Wars: Visions
- Hot Fuzz
- the Kenner death star playset
- the autonomous cleaning robot at the grocery store
- Hera Syndulla
- side A of Rush's "Moving Pictures"
November 24, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Definitive Star Wars rankings:
- the Special Edition vhs making-of featurettes
- the super Irish episode of Star Wars: Visions
- Hot Fuzz
- the Kenner death star playset
- the autonomous cleaning robot at the grocery store
- Hera Syndulla
- side A of Rush's "Moving Pictures"
- the Special Edition vhs making-of featurettes
- the super Irish episode of Star Wars: Visions
- Hot Fuzz
- the Kenner death star playset
- the autonomous cleaning robot at the grocery store
- Hera Syndulla
- side A of Rush's "Moving Pictures"
Of course, it wasn't eliminated as a cost-cutting measure but because it successfully completed its goal of massacring wildly effective (and cheap!) aid and goodwill programs, plus illegally sharing and decentralizing citizen data, all while pretending to cut enough to justify a $4 trillion tax cut
The Department of Government Efficiency being eliminated as a cost-cutting measure after one season is a funnier joke than your favorite comedian could ever hope to come up with.
November 24, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Of course, it wasn't eliminated as a cost-cutting measure but because it successfully completed its goal of massacring wildly effective (and cheap!) aid and goodwill programs, plus illegally sharing and decentralizing citizen data, all while pretending to cut enough to justify a $4 trillion tax cut
Refactoring code in a way that doesn't accomplish much functionally but makes the repo FEEL cleaner, while listening to the Metroid Prime soundtrack, like our forefathers intended
November 24, 2025 at 6:35 PM
Refactoring code in a way that doesn't accomplish much functionally but makes the repo FEEL cleaner, while listening to the Metroid Prime soundtrack, like our forefathers intended
Reposted by Dan Jordan
god the takes are abysmal this morning
November 24, 2025 at 4:32 PM
god the takes are abysmal this morning
Some people have a larger-than-life personality. I have a smaller-than-life personality. Nobody even says "who was that guy?" when I leave the room
November 24, 2025 at 6:15 AM
Some people have a larger-than-life personality. I have a smaller-than-life personality. Nobody even says "who was that guy?" when I leave the room
Oh you use [simple, approachable software]? Real professionals use [the most godawful shit you've ever seen].
November 22, 2025 at 5:48 AM
Oh you use [simple, approachable software]? Real professionals use [the most godawful shit you've ever seen].
Ubisoft has spent the past decade trying their hardest to not make Beyond Good And Evil 2 themselves
Ubisoft boss believes generative AI is as big a revolution for games as the shift to 3D, as tech is embraced company-wide
www.eurogamer.net/ubisoft-boss...
www.eurogamer.net/ubisoft-boss...
November 22, 2025 at 3:16 AM
Ubisoft has spent the past decade trying their hardest to not make Beyond Good And Evil 2 themselves
I'm also not going to be serving in congress come January but that's private
November 22, 2025 at 3:04 AM
I'm also not going to be serving in congress come January but that's private
this is a job for the oregon department of transportation
A dead sperm whale has washed up on Nantucket for the first time in decades. It’s too big to move — at least until officials figure out a plan.
Dead Sperm Whale on Nantucket Is Too Big to Move, for Now
A local nonprofit said the 52-ton mammal is “far too big, awkward and heavy to remove.” A town official later said it could be dragged out to sea by Thanksgiving.
nyti.ms
November 20, 2025 at 9:17 PM
this is a job for the oregon department of transportation