Author | Lightnews

Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · 7d

What started out as two blocks and one dot by @atari.com has turned into a form of art. Video games pull us into spectacular worlds that until recently in human history remained in our wildest imaginations…

What the fuck is this?

#bubsy3d

Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · 9d

Imagine playing the game Doom from 2016. then imagine your average Barbie movie before the one everyone got so pissed about. And then imagine mixing both together. @girlypop.net added Ultrakill and came up with this game.

My mate Paul came up with a long, droning „uh“ noise.

#dontstopgirlypop

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Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · Aug 24

Spell Brigade is an interesting game that is inspired by Vampire Survivors. Unfortunately it falls short of its inspiration due to the lack of vampires and survivors.

…

My producer has made me aware that Vampire Survivors lacks survivors too. Truly saddening.

#spellbrigade

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Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · Aug 24

Neverness to Everness asks itself the question „How much GTA V and Genshin Impact can you mix in a game until neither can sue you for copyright infringement anymore?“

Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · Aug 24

I forgot to tag #nintendo and #3ds. My producer wants me to say „i forgor“ as if that makes me more relatable or famous.

Do i look like David Attenborough?

Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · Aug 24

Fun fact: Nintendo added the 3D functionality specifically because they wanted to give more kids seizures.

They weren‘t satisfied with the number of seizure patients caused by that banned Pokemon episode.

Unfortunately they removed the 3D functionality after people only complained about headaches.

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Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · Aug 24

My mate Paul says that if you know what this light means, you qualify for a veterans discount.

What he doesn‘t know is that the Nintendo 3DS released 22 years after the unrelated belgian techno anthem „Pump Up The Jam“.

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Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · Jul 23

The Riverside is a beautiful place. Lush grass plains, decorated with beautiful trees, colorful mushrooms, cute animals, a bright beach and an indigo sea.

This place is so relaxing that you almost forget that a shiny rock in a hill can turn it into literal hell in an instant.

#ruffyandtheriverside

Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · Jul 23

Pinball Crush combines the joy of hitting on objects with the joy of hitting on girls. It also combines the disappointment men face when they‘re missing and crawling back into their holes.

My mate Paul insists that the fling he has with that blonde girl absolutely means nothing.

#pinballcrush

Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · May 18

Having two shields would allow to roll into enemies in order to kill them. An idea so stupidly simple that i could see a hedgehog could come up with that.

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Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · May 18

When watching the race in the parking garage in Tokyo Drift, men have shown 2 kinds of reactions:

Some decide to develop a game that makes the movie parking garage look spacious.

And my mate Paul decided to ruin his car and lose his drivers license like an idiot.

#parkinggaragerallycircuit #pgrc

Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · May 18

Have you ever looked at a YoYo and decided that these are not insanely boring toys and punched your little brother with them? Apparently some nerds did.

#yoyopunk

Reposted by Cunk on Gaming

Video Games Out of Context 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 @indiegamesooc.bsky.social · Mar 16

Stardew Valley

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Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · Mar 15

You may remember Furby, those toys designed by Mattel which guidance of Satan himself to torture parents into buying them for their kids only to traumatize both of them as they speak.

Some sick fuck decided that this was not enough and developed #tattletail.

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Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · Mar 10

About BattleEye: Thanks for the correction. Also i never stated that the user should complain to Valve.

Please don‘t make me break my role again, okay?

Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · Mar 10

That was a joke.

Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · Mar 8

Palia is a cozy MMO in which you brutally maim trees and chop their corpses, shank rocks with pickaxes, burn rocks and ores, slaughter deers for their skin and meat, genocide foxes and piss off your neighbors all in the name of escapism and creating a comfortable home.

#palia

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Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · Mar 6

GearGrit is an open world jump and run game with guns and occasional racing in which you beat lots of guards, monsters and take down dictatorship in a futuristic city.

My mate Paul keeps insisting that i was actually talking about Jak 2.

#geargrit

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Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · Mar 6

Before the invention of talking about feelings and work life balance, a british fighter could only cure their depression and burnout by making lots and lots of tea.

#wanderstop

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Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · Mar 5

Rockstar has been dealing with a lot of hackers ruining the fun for others. And i‘m starting to wonder whether my mate Paul is one of them because he copied something into a terminal to make a game work on my Steam Deck. How can a terminal work when Bill Gates killed it with Windows?

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Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · Mar 5

I‘m gonna break out of my role for this moment: As far as i‘m aware Rockstar uses EasyAntiCheat which works in Proton. However game devs can and in case of Rockstar will disable Linux support. Why? I can explain that back in my role as Philomena Cunk.

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Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · Mar 3

Wood Oak City is ravaged by a violent syndicate and thousands of thugs from all walks of life! It‘s history teaches us that violence brings us only more and cooler violence and that only a good guy with a fist can stop a bad guy with a fist.

#streetsofrage4

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Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · Mar 1

But how long was the prancing pony established before the release of unrelated belgian techno anthem „Pump Up The Jam“?

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Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · Mar 1

The world of Clesseia is in dire need of a knight! However the knight Sir Lionstone is lost and so it‘s on the knightling to save the world by giving enemies blunt force trauma until they die. That wouldn‘t have been necessary if Lionstone keep his damn shield with him.

#theknightling

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Cunk on Gaming @cunkongaming.bsky.social · Feb 27

Pelican Town is a quaint little location in Stardew Valley, full of people who don‘t get their asses up to fix a community center, start a farm and then complain about Amazon taking over.

#stardewvalley

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