Author | Lightnews

Spooky Jester Emily 💀

@crystalestial.bsky.social

160 followers 360 following 810 posts

Mech Pilot Enthusiast | Queer Wordsmith | #1 Leinth Aritimis Stan | Humble Jester I make music over at @syntheskeleton.neocities.org 25 | 🏳️‍⚧️ she/her

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Spooky Jester Emily 💀 @crystalestial.bsky.social · Feb 17

I have GOT to become more pilot-coded tbh

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Reposted by Spooky Jester Emily 💀

Kasimira @kasimiraa.bsky.social · 5d

Dooku is Handler-coded, and if they were all lesbians then Ventress and Grievous would be her Hounds.

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Spooky Jester Emily 💀 @crystalestial.bsky.social · 2h

un-liked and re-liked just for you oomf 💜

Spooky Jester Emily 💀 @crystalestial.bsky.social · 2h

no fucking shot i left my toothbrush at home dude

Reposted by Spooky Jester Emily 💀

wowie @wowiewhatausername.bsky.social · 4h

the lament

3 footsoldiers walking through a field of irregular white pillars in the middle of a dust storm. they are illuminated by the flashlight of a fourth offscreen. one of them is turned to the camera, having a conversation.

"god, what a boring-ass patrol"
"'s either this or gettin' shot at, i'm afraid"
"of course, of course. but places like this give me the creeps."
"...hey, if y're so bored, wanna hear somethin' scary?
"fuck off, man."

"there's been a rumor goin' 'round, y'see- i'm sure y've heard it, but it goes somethin' like this..."
"an Impie convoy, outpost, base, whatever- people like us."

"dead of fuckin' night, they get the feelin' like they're bein' watched."

a military base backlit by bright orange, littered by dead bodies and destroyed mechs. in the distance, a lithe mech with a white head is holding a scythe overhead, about to swing it into the last survivor. the mech it's standing on is holding a hand above its head in surrender.

"they start seein' stuff- dead guys chopped clean through like some'un took a waterjet to 'em."
"mech sized shape b'tween the bleach-trees, just outta sight..."

"then, the rest of the guys go poof. always too late when some'un realizes, and all've them die like that."

"whole base like a psycho with a chainsaw ran through 'em. it ain' matter how big or strong they are."

"...y' believe in ghosts?"

a mech taking a knee and holding a coffin upright, backlit by a red sky. the lid of the coffin is ajar, and the black silhouette of a woman is emerging from the inside. she has no definition other than her eight red eyes.

"well, i certainly don't- seein' a neural port fail 'll cure y' of any delusion 'bout souls, but..."

"thing carries a huge coffin on its back- an' people are sayin' some kinda vengeful spirit's livin' inside."
"now, who it is d'pends on the story- an engie, fellow ol' pilot, a lover- but she has an... accident."
"somethin' fucks up 'er neural port, an' 'er poor brain deep-fries in its own juice."

"'er spirit spends seven, long, years, trapped in its own brain, till she dies..."
"...all the while 'er soul curdles in 'ta somethin' mean."
"s'why they all die, every'un says. the mech with the coffin lets 'er out for a little payback."

the perspective of the turned-around footsoldier, illuminating the previously-unseen figure in the first shot. their head is tilted to the side in doubt. just barely out of the flashlight's reach, the coffin mech is stalking them.

"come on, if you wanna scare me, at least try. that just sounds like bullshit."

"hah, tell me 'bout it. s' probably an indie playin' the hero, but- people like to imagine s' somethin' worse, 'cause they can't stomach losin' t' somethin' they think they're above."

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Spooky Jester Emily 💀 @crystalestial.bsky.social · 5h

the fact that this is the most engagement i've gotten on a single post this site and it's for a fucking garfield edit i made in like 5 minutes will never not be hilarious to me, i love this community man

Spooky Jester Emily 💀 @crystalestial.bsky.social · 13h

stim-blissed piloting a prince who's fanbase will riot if they see anything other than a hot femme

basically if a stim-addicted pilot was also an e-girl twitch streamer lmao

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Spooky Jester Emily 💀 @crystalestial.bsky.social · 13h

i've made quite possibly the most goated frame girl character, utterly in love with the combination i ended up with lmao

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Reposted by Spooky Jester Emily 💀

Nightmare @noctisterrore.bsky.social · 18h

I present my contribution to tonights timeline and a shitpost on which i spent probably more time than i should have:
Handler Dracula Flow

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Spooky Jester Emily 💀 @crystalestial.bsky.social · 16h

dropping this here bc i cooked with these

discord messages from me riffing on the dracula flow formula:

I LACED EL CHAPO'S HIGH QUALITY CRACK WITH LIQUID STARLIGHT SO MY HOUNDS COULD DETHRONE GOD, THIS SHIT AIN'T NOTHIN TO ME MAN

I'VE TOPPLED ENTIRE CIVILIZATIONS AND FIGHTFOUGHT KING KAMEHAMEHA IN THE POLYNESIAN GULF FOR THE RIGHT TO WEAR THESE THESE BOOTS, DO NOT FUCK WITH ME

etc, etc, i could go on

Spooky Jester Emily 💀 @crystalestial.bsky.social · 19h

good job oomf 🫳

Spooky Jester Emily 💀 @crystalestial.bsky.social · 19h

lines of affirmation just sounds like self-care to me

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Spooky Jester Emily 💀 @crystalestial.bsky.social · 20h

it's just too good lmao

Spooky Jester Emily 💀 @crystalestial.bsky.social · 20h

i feel like this is the natural conclusion of this bit tbh

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Spooky Jester Emily 💀 @crystalestial.bsky.social · 20h

cackling

Spooky Jester Emily 💀 @crystalestial.bsky.social · 20h

thanks i hate it /bit

Spooky Jester Emily 💀 @crystalestial.bsky.social · 20h

oomf is just too powerful

Spooky Jester Emily 💀 @crystalestial.bsky.social · 20h

sometimes the TL just needs a third strip edit, y'know?

Spooky Jester Emily 💀 @crystalestial.bsky.social · 20h

@kallidorarho.bsky.social consider: Garfhound... minus Garfhound

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Spooky Jester Emily 💀 @crystalestial.bsky.social · 20h

TURN ON THE TV, A SECOND GARFHOUND STRIP HAS HIT THE TL!!

Reposted by Spooky Jester Emily 💀

Lyra, Mindbroken Spaceplane Pilot @muzzlesbian.bsky.social · 20h

the notorious september 10, 2001 garfhound comic.
@kallidorarho.bsky.social i'm terribly sorry for this (i'm not sorry in the slightest)

an edited three-panel garfield comic, with Sartha Thrace's face over Garfield & Handler's over Jon's.
the first panel has Handler dialing a phone, saying "She WHAT?!" with Sartha laying next to her.
the second panel has Handler saying "could you hold for a moment? i have another call coming in... thanks" and pressing a button.
the third panel has Handler exclaiming "She WHAT?!" with extremely large text, and Sartha thinking "I've been a busy dog"

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Reposted by Spooky Jester Emily 💀

Kallidora Rhosferatu 🩸 @kallidorarho.bsky.social · 22h

neither will god

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Reposted by Spooky Jester Emily 💀

maddy|Olivkas Best Loser @ilianawoah.bsky.social · 22h

I will never forgive myself for this monstrosity

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Spooky Jester Emily 💀 @crystalestial.bsky.social · 23h

12 days with the love of my life... oughhg

Spooky Jester Emily 💀 @crystalestial.bsky.social · 1d

i did it folks

Spooky Jester Emily 💀 @crystalestial.bsky.social · 1d

imo 'story' is such a broad descriptor, and i'm compelled by Dark Forces™️ to be as clear and consice as possible when talking about a thing, 'fiction piece' is just the best way i've found to do that