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crabgrasd.bsky.social
Crabgrass
@crabgrasd.bsky.social
1.7K followers 75 following 340 posts
Tauhid Bondia, Creator of the syndicated comic strip Crabgrass
Patreon.com/7auhid
Crabgrass.fun
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crabgrasd.bsky.social
12/6/25
December 6, 2025 at 3:50 PM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
And figure it out he did.
(Gene at the table with various bill spread out in front of him. Donna stands behind him) Gene: Babe, I don’t know HOW we’re going to pull off Christmas this year. Gene: (rubbing his head) Between the car breaking down and cutbacks on overtime, our savings are looking pretty bleak. (Donna leans over and gently kisses him on the forehead) Donna: I’m sure you’ll figure it out. (Gene looks around at her as she walks off) Gene: Why does that always sound a little bit like a threat? Donna: (calmly) I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.
December 5, 2025 at 4:16 PM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
Even the good old days have their good old days.
(Kevin and Miles standing outside waiting for the bus) Kevin: You ever feel like we’re getting old? Miles: Dude, we’re nine. Kevin: Not like OLD, old but don’t you ever miss being six or seven? Back before you got worried about being cool. Before math had fractions. That was a better time. Kevin: a more whimsical time. (Both standing in silence) Miles: Ms. Campbell gave me a scratch-and-sniff sticker yesterday, and I didn’t even smell it. Kevin: We’re too young to be this old.
December 3, 2025 at 3:57 PM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
Gonna say right now that I still don’t know the origin of the phrase Goody Two-shoes and I’m not interested.
(Miles, grounded, talking to Keven through his bedroom window) Kevin: Well, well. Look who’s grounded. Mr. Goody Two-Shoes. Miles: What‘’a that even mean? Kevin: oh, well, you know… Goody Two-Shoes. Miles: Actually, I don’t know. Kevin: it’s like… uh… Miles: New rule: No more insults that you can’t explain. Kevin: (throwing up his hands in outrage) That’s like HALF my catalogue!
December 2, 2025 at 2:50 PM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
I can do this all day
(Kevin in Principal Sanders’ office. He’s sitting in a chair looking at Sanders who is standing in front off him with arms crossed) (Kevin glances around.) (Sanders runs his hand through his hair and sighs deeply) Kevin: So, do you start or… Sanders: Give me a minute. This is as close as I get to a break.
November 28, 2025 at 4:13 PM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
Happy Turkey Day!
(Kevin and Miles hanging out in the hallway of Mile’s house. Miles is lying on the floor nursing a stomach ache and looking miserable. Kevin is sitting beside him) Miles: UGH! I think I have a tummy ache. Kevin: WHOA! Tummy ache? What are you, five? Kevin: You should definitely have graduated to upset stomach by now. Belly ache at the least! (Both sit in a silence for a moment as Miles looks annoyed at Kevin) Miles: I didn’t realize gastrointestinal distress was age appropriate. Kevin: WHOA! What are you, FIFTY?
November 27, 2025 at 5:20 PM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
Not all Villains wear clown makeup
(Kevin and Miles on a see-saw) Kevin: You ever wonder why super rich people don’t become super-heroes like Batman or Ironman? Miles: Nah. Miles: I think to be ah hero, you can’t just be rich You also have to be a genius and top-tier athlete. Kevin: Well, what about supervillains They could do that, right? Miles: I kinda think some already do. Kevin: I’m talking about the Blow up the Moon kind, not the Deny You Health Insurance Claim kind. Miles: Oh.
November 26, 2025 at 9:07 PM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
Ironically, the hardest thing to draw in comics is a newspaper.
(Miles approaches his dad who is sitting in his recliner reading the paper) Miles: Dad, didn’t you ever get in trouble when you were a kid? Gene: Oh, I was never a kid. Gene: (straight-faced) I have a rare medical condition that means I was born a fully-formed adult. So I never got the chance to get up to childish nonsense like you. Miles: (sarcastic expression) Right. You do realize I’m too old to just believe whatever you tell me anymore, right? Gene: (Looking away from his paper at Miles curiously) Are you? sorry. My condition makes it hard for me to gauge things like that.
November 25, 2025 at 4:44 PM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
Well, when you put it that way.
(Kevin at the dinner table with a plate of food, arms crossed, looking indignant) Janine: Kevin, finish your veggies. Kevin: No way. I don’t want to and you can’t make me. (Janine leans in, one arm on the table) Janine: Actually I CAN. Easily. You’re so very small. And HELPLESS. (She leans even closer. Kevin looks nervous) Janina: Because you don’t eat your vegetables. (Kevin now eating his vegetables, looking shaken up) Kevin: Never let it be said that I won’t respond to a level-headed appeal to reason.
November 24, 2025 at 4:58 PM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
Everybody loves chicken
(Kevin and Miles walking down the sidewalk) Kevin: Hey, is it true that black people like chicken? Miles: Sure. Chicken’s delicious. Miles: don’t YOU like chicken? Kevin: OF COURSE! It’s my FAVORITE! (Both walking in silence briefly) Kevin: I don’t think I’ll ever understand stereotypes. Miles: Do you WANT to?
November 22, 2025 at 4:11 PM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
Sorry, Miles. 40 years later and there’s still no Video Game Limit.
(Kevin and Miles laying on Miles’ bed surrounded by candy and candy wrappers) Kevin: Ugh! I don’t think I can eat another bite. Miles: Me either. I’m stuffed! Miles: is this it? Do you think… we actually hit the Candy Limit? Kevin: I thought that was just a legend. Miles: Me too. Miles: But if we’re really done with candy, what now? What’s there to live for? (Cut to the boys playing video games on the living room tv) Miles: Video Game Limit it is!
November 21, 2025 at 2:34 PM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
the eye reveal!
(Krystal, Kyle and Janine posing for a picture) Kevin: Say cheese! Kyle, Krystal, Janine: CHEEEEEEESE! Kevin: (holding a Polaroid camera) Okay, now say: “I hereby pledge to increase everyone’s allowance by five dollars. This is a legally binding verbal contract.” (Kyle and Krystal peek hopefully at Janine who looks suddenly annoyed) (Kyle and Krystal walking away from Kevin disappointed) Kevin: I don’t see either of you coming up with any ideas!
November 20, 2025 at 4:12 PM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
There’s levels to this
(Kevin, grounded, talking to Miles from his bedroom window) Miles : What are you in for this time? Kevin: Ya know, I’m not even sure. Kevin: Mom sent me to my room to think about what I did. But she was so mad, she didn’t even say what. Kevin: The problem is I’ve done so much today that I have no idea what she means! Miles: Couldn’t you just think about all of it? Kevin: (annoyed) You probably don’t realize this, but it’s kind of insulting when someone like you tries to give a pro like me advice on being grounded.
November 19, 2025 at 2:22 AM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
I still jump excitedly at any chance to use my pocket knife.
(Kevin and Miles sitting on the porch. Kevin is showing off a small pocket knife) Kevin: check out this cool pocket knife mom got me. Miles: She got YOU a pocket knife? Kevin: Yeah. I couldn’t believe it either. She said that every boy should have a reliable pocket knife in case of emergencies. (Kevin continues to fiddle with the knife, fascinated) Kevin: (turning suddenly to Miles) All I know is, if I don’t have or of these emergencies soon I’m gonna have to MAKE one.
November 18, 2025 at 4:18 PM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
New Inventions: Shoe Shoes Shoe. Shoe you put on to protect your Shoe Shoes.
Kevin: New shoes, huh? Miles: Yup. Check it out. Miles: The worst thing about new shoes is getting them dirty. So I had the GENIUs idea of tying my old shoes to the bottom of my new ones! This way they never touch the ground! Kevin: And your parents saw these before you came out? Miles: (self-satisfied)The said I should show you right away! Kevin: (mildly annoyed) Right. I hate when they pass the buck like this. Miles: (suddenly tipping over) WHOOP! Center of gravity’s off!
November 17, 2025 at 5:53 PM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
(46/46) Candy Cain
Epilogue: Baxter’s bag of needs suddenly reappears outside of a quaint looking little building in an unidentified village. The bag falls to the ground and the Candy Cain mask tumbles out. From off panel: Hellooo… (A purple Goblin in a traditional Goblin garb wearing a Mohawk styled haircut walks to frame and picks us the mask examining it) Goblin: What THIS then?
November 17, 2025 at 5:50 PM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
(45/46) Candy Cain
(The gang, now back on the street, is watching other children Trick-or-Treat) Kevin: Man, saving holidays is thankless work. Miles: Yeah, but somebody’s gotta do it. Carla: Can I call Not IT in advance for Thanksgiving? Baxter: Full disclosure: I actually thought Halloween was the one with colored eggs.
November 14, 2025 at 12:50 PM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
(44/46) Candy Cain
(Lewis is watching the gang as they exit the sewer) Baxter: Lewis, I know people treated you badly. But if you ever decide to come back to the surface, just know you’ve got friends up there now. Lewis: Thanks, Baxter. Thanks ALL of you. Now hurry up and get home. I’m sure your parents are worried. (Kevin approaches thee cut ladder carry a bag of candy larger than his body) Lewis: Sure you got enough candy? Kevin: You sure this is the biggest bag you have?
November 13, 2025 at 3:57 PM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
(43/46) Candy Cain
Kevin: (to Lewis) So, you’re just going to stay down here in the sewers forever? Lewis: Why not? Lewis: There’s nothing up there for me. No friends, no family. And now, without Candy Cain, I get to make my own choices. I’m finally free! Lewis: (Pushing open a door at the back of the dungeon) And I have you to thank for that! To show my gratitude I’ve got something special to show you. Lewis: (Revealing an entire room piled high with halloween candy) Ever wonder what Candy Cain did with all that candy?
November 12, 2025 at 2:41 PM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
(42/46) Candy Cain
Carla: What do you mean you don’t want to leave? In your diary you said you had to find a way out! Candy Cain: oh that. Candy Cain: Those were my early entries. After some time down here, I actually began to enjoy the solitude, believe it or not. Candy Cain: It turns out you don’t really miss getting constantly ignored or made fun of all that much. Go figure. Carla: (looking at Lewis’ diary) Oh…I didn’t realize. Candy Cain: There’s also a spy novel I’ve been working on if you keep reading.
November 11, 2025 at 2:03 PM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
(41/46) Candy Cain
Kimmy: (excited) You guys, we did it! We rescued Lewis and stopped Candy Cain! Baxter: (off tot he side with a sarcastic glance) “We?” Kimmy: We SAVEd Halloween! Carla: Oh, I don’t think Halloween was really in dan- Kimmy: MYSTERY MAVERICKS FOREVER! Benji: (looking at his wrist) And just in time too. We’ve only got a few minutes before we have to be back at Kevin’s house for the sleepover. Krystal: (To Lewis Cain) Come on, Lewis! We’ll take you back to the surface! Lewis: (calmly) Oh, no thank you.
November 10, 2025 at 3:17 PM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
(40/46) Candy Cain
Lewis Cain: (slowly coming out of a years long stupor) What…? What’s happening? Who are you people? Miles: (cautiously) Lewis Cain? Is that you? Lewis: (touching his face) I… yes! I can’t hear his voice anymore! I’m ME! Lewis: (suddenly standing up straight) I’M FREE!!
November 8, 2025 at 3:44 PM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
(39/46) Candy Cain
“What happened to 38?”. The same thing that always happens. I accidentally updated the same number twice at some point throwing the whole count off by one. Bad news: One less comic in this arc. Good news: one less comic in this arc (it all depends on how you feel about this arc).🤷🏾‍♂️
Miles: Baxter! Did you just SAVE us? Baxter: ( Struggling to hold on to the bag of needs) Maybe! I’ve never used a Bag of Needs this way. Baxter: (watching as the bag lifts out of his hands on its own and begins swirling around in a tight circle) I’m not sure what happens when you put something INSIDE of- (Baxter watches as the back swirls tighter and tighter seeming to shrink in on itself) Baxter: (The bag finally swirls even tighter collapsing into a single point and disappearing with a *POP*) Oh.
November 7, 2025 at 4:12 PM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
(37/46) Candy Cain
Mask: WHO WANTS TO BE CANDY CAIN FIRST?! Lewis: (holding the mask up limply) Guuuh… Kevin: (stepping in front of the rest of the kids) Now WAY! Get back! Stay away from my friends! Baxter: (Quickly grabbing the mask from Lewis’ weak grip) I have a better idea! Mask: Wha-? No! (Baxter shoves the mask deep into his magic bag of needs)
November 6, 2025 at 3:28 PM
crabgrasd.bsky.social
(36/46) Candy Cain
Candy Cain: Unfortunately, human suffering cannot be maintained without HOPE, which poor Lewis ran out of long ago. Candy Cain: And THAT, little ones is where you come in. Lewis was already broken by his life when I found him. But YOU, I can break slowly over time. Benji: (furious) YOU MONSTER! Candy Cain: How easy it would be to believe that. But I’m not monster… (Candy Cain removes the most revealing an old, weathered dazed looking Lewis Cain) Mask: I merely wish to survive. Lewis: Uuuugh…
November 5, 2025 at 2:10 PM