Claire (derogatory)
@clarissakickass.bsky.social
She/her. 🏳️⚧️ Older than you
Sometimes I’m amusing
You can fascinate me by giving me chicken
18+ only, very frequently NSFW, minors DNI
What did I do instead of going to sleep? Finished the first Dorley Hall book. Because I couldn’t stop knowing I only had 125 pages left and it drug me along with suspense. 🤷🏻♀️
NOW I’m gonna sleep.
NOW I’m gonna sleep.
December 5, 2025 at 6:57 PM
What did I do instead of going to sleep? Finished the first Dorley Hall book. Because I couldn’t stop knowing I only had 125 pages left and it drug me along with suspense. 🤷🏻♀️
NOW I’m gonna sleep.
NOW I’m gonna sleep.
If I hurry up and go to sleep before the dumb thoughts catch me, I get to have decent dreams again right? That’s how it works?
(Yesterday’s dream was probably anomalous buuuut she’s cute so maybe she’ll show up again 🤷🏻♀️)
(Yesterday’s dream was probably anomalous buuuut she’s cute so maybe she’ll show up again 🤷🏻♀️)
December 5, 2025 at 5:01 PM
If I hurry up and go to sleep before the dumb thoughts catch me, I get to have decent dreams again right? That’s how it works?
(Yesterday’s dream was probably anomalous buuuut she’s cute so maybe she’ll show up again 🤷🏻♀️)
(Yesterday’s dream was probably anomalous buuuut she’s cute so maybe she’ll show up again 🤷🏻♀️)
Reposted by Claire (derogatory)
This came to me in a dream
December 5, 2025 at 12:24 PM
This came to me in a dream
Nobody ever whines that the military loses money every year.
Nobody ever whines that 911 loses money every year.
Nobody ever whines that water treatment plants lose money every year.
They DON’T. Because they’re not businesses and they exist to SPEND money on NEEDED SHIT.
Nobody ever whines that 911 loses money every year.
Nobody ever whines that water treatment plants lose money every year.
They DON’T. Because they’re not businesses and they exist to SPEND money on NEEDED SHIT.
The USPS posting a NINE BILLION DOLLAR LOSS!!! sounds terrible. Certainly worse than if you said "USPS costs thirty dollars per person per year" even though that means the same thing and more accurately describes a government service
December 5, 2025 at 3:08 PM
Nobody ever whines that the military loses money every year.
Nobody ever whines that 911 loses money every year.
Nobody ever whines that water treatment plants lose money every year.
They DON’T. Because they’re not businesses and they exist to SPEND money on NEEDED SHIT.
Nobody ever whines that 911 loses money every year.
Nobody ever whines that water treatment plants lose money every year.
They DON’T. Because they’re not businesses and they exist to SPEND money on NEEDED SHIT.
Just for test purposes I took a picture of myself in the bathroom mirror and noticed that I think I look more feminine today than I ever do, to the point where things seem pretty manageable.
I haven’t DONE anything yet.
Maybe it’s a good day idk? 🤷🏻♀️
I haven’t DONE anything yet.
Maybe it’s a good day idk? 🤷🏻♀️
December 5, 2025 at 3:03 PM
Just for test purposes I took a picture of myself in the bathroom mirror and noticed that I think I look more feminine today than I ever do, to the point where things seem pretty manageable.
I haven’t DONE anything yet.
Maybe it’s a good day idk? 🤷🏻♀️
I haven’t DONE anything yet.
Maybe it’s a good day idk? 🤷🏻♀️
If you wish, post an image from your gallery to describe your mental health
December 5, 2025 at 12:38 PM
If you wish, post an image from your gallery to describe your mental health
I spend more time than I’d like convincing myself not to attempt to vanish, thinking that’s for everyone’s benefit. There was a post about that recently that I liked, and it made me finally realize it’s not just me, but it’s still really hard to push out of my head. Even when you know better.
December 5, 2025 at 11:50 AM
I spend more time than I’d like convincing myself not to attempt to vanish, thinking that’s for everyone’s benefit. There was a post about that recently that I liked, and it made me finally realize it’s not just me, but it’s still really hard to push out of my head. Even when you know better.
Hey baby, I’ll go down on you like Cloudflare: often, and with disastrous results
December 5, 2025 at 10:23 AM
Hey baby, I’ll go down on you like Cloudflare: often, and with disastrous results
Cloudflare more like Cloudfart amirite
December 5, 2025 at 9:53 AM
Cloudflare more like Cloudfart amirite
Saw a post on another site just now that was somewhat disconcerting and one of the replying comments was “I should have just gone to work in a coal mine as a child, literacy has done nothing positive for me” and this is my favorite disgusted response of the day.
December 5, 2025 at 9:42 AM
Saw a post on another site just now that was somewhat disconcerting and one of the replying comments was “I should have just gone to work in a coal mine as a child, literacy has done nothing positive for me” and this is my favorite disgusted response of the day.
Wow I didn’t realize I was doing no nut December until I accidentally did. That’s weird. 🤔
December 5, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Wow I didn’t realize I was doing no nut December until I accidentally did. That’s weird. 🤔
I like to scroll through Bluesky at work and laugh at stuff and my coworkers can ask me what’s funny and I can’t show them because it’s many trans women being hilarious in a way that these cis people don’t understand because they’re not cool
December 5, 2025 at 8:56 AM
I like to scroll through Bluesky at work and laugh at stuff and my coworkers can ask me what’s funny and I can’t show them because it’s many trans women being hilarious in a way that these cis people don’t understand because they’re not cool
Me: these edibles ain’t shit
My coworker: those are Haribo gummy bears
My coworker: those are Haribo gummy bears
December 5, 2025 at 8:35 AM
Me: these edibles ain’t shit
My coworker: those are Haribo gummy bears
My coworker: those are Haribo gummy bears
Reposted by Claire (derogatory)
Not only do I need the girl with the estrogen gun to follow me around, I also might need the girl who periodically smacks me in the back of the head without warning and says “stop it” just to get ahead of the intrusive thoughts.
Basically I need self-care put on an automatic timer.
Basically I need self-care put on an automatic timer.
December 5, 2025 at 7:23 AM
Not only do I need the girl with the estrogen gun to follow me around, I also might need the girl who periodically smacks me in the back of the head without warning and says “stop it” just to get ahead of the intrusive thoughts.
Basically I need self-care put on an automatic timer.
Basically I need self-care put on an automatic timer.
I was gonna say something that ended up sounding depressing but wasn’t meant to be at all. I couldn’t find a way to put it into words really. So I’ll just say that my life is a lot better with all you people in it, even if I’ve never actually met any of you yet. Change is coming for me because of it
December 5, 2025 at 6:45 AM
I was gonna say something that ended up sounding depressing but wasn’t meant to be at all. I couldn’t find a way to put it into words really. So I’ll just say that my life is a lot better with all you people in it, even if I’ve never actually met any of you yet. Change is coming for me because of it
No notes, 10/10, works for me 👍
December 5, 2025 at 6:16 AM
No notes, 10/10, works for me 👍
I had the weirdest dream today. I was happy and everyone called me Claire the whole time. What kind of fucked up shit is that? 🤔
December 5, 2025 at 5:27 AM
I had the weirdest dream today. I was happy and everyone called me Claire the whole time. What kind of fucked up shit is that? 🤔
Measure the time needed to pay for a meal? Wasn’t this a shitty movie with Justin Timberlake in it from like, 15 years ago?
Jeff Bezos and the Washington Post are at it again.
December 4, 2025 at 4:19 PM
Measure the time needed to pay for a meal? Wasn’t this a shitty movie with Justin Timberlake in it from like, 15 years ago?
I would die for this creature, no question. Just a fantastic lil guy
here is probably the most whimsical and gormless creature ive made so far. just utterly permeable. under investigation for an allergy to tap water
December 4, 2025 at 3:51 PM
I would die for this creature, no question. Just a fantastic lil guy
“…and another thing, Brad Pitt never opened that box! So what was in it, huh?“
December 4, 2025 at 3:01 PM
“…and another thing, Brad Pitt never opened that box! So what was in it, huh?“
Reposted by Claire (derogatory)
I want to make a movie where Santa has claws and he uses his claws to claw things and santa's claws allow him to save the world with his santa claws, I would call this movie "crab santa"
December 3, 2025 at 5:58 PM
I want to make a movie where Santa has claws and he uses his claws to claw things and santa's claws allow him to save the world with his santa claws, I would call this movie "crab santa"
It occurred to me earlier that lots of trans women get brainworms and me having them is probably a pretty good sign I’m on the right track.
The fact that I’m questioning myself so much is a sign that I shouldn’t be questioning myself so much, I guess?
Still kinda feels bad though.
The fact that I’m questioning myself so much is a sign that I shouldn’t be questioning myself so much, I guess?
Still kinda feels bad though.
December 4, 2025 at 12:10 PM
It occurred to me earlier that lots of trans women get brainworms and me having them is probably a pretty good sign I’m on the right track.
The fact that I’m questioning myself so much is a sign that I shouldn’t be questioning myself so much, I guess?
Still kinda feels bad though.
The fact that I’m questioning myself so much is a sign that I shouldn’t be questioning myself so much, I guess?
Still kinda feels bad though.
I had a Déjà vu just now and I’m always hopeful that means I’m on the right track or something. Like this is the preordained path for me and I’m doing it properly because I envisioned it already.
Or I’m about to find out time travel is real, either way.
Or I’m about to find out time travel is real, either way.
December 4, 2025 at 9:58 AM
I had a Déjà vu just now and I’m always hopeful that means I’m on the right track or something. Like this is the preordained path for me and I’m doing it properly because I envisioned it already.
Or I’m about to find out time travel is real, either way.
Or I’m about to find out time travel is real, either way.
Oh so I need a BEAST okay that makes sense
December 4, 2025 at 9:35 AM
Oh so I need a BEAST okay that makes sense