Clare Blackwood
@clareblackwood.bsky.social
Actor/comedian/writer. Words in The Beaverton, CBC Comedy, McSweeney’s, etc. Pierre Poilievre's personal assistant Mandy. she/her [email protected] https://buymeacoffee.com/clareblackwood https://www.patreon.com/cw/ClareBlackwoodComedy
Pinned
I Have A Patreon Now!
YouTube video by Clare Blackwood
youtu.be
I HAVE A PATREON NOW! 🎉
Hello everyone. It's official: you can now support me and my comedy, if you are able to and wish to. Link to the Patreon will be below, and is also in this video's YouTube description.
I'm so excited! It's going to be really fun. Unless you hate jokes.
youtu.be/_DFgW0Q_H2E
Hello everyone. It's official: you can now support me and my comedy, if you are able to and wish to. Link to the Patreon will be below, and is also in this video's YouTube description.
I'm so excited! It's going to be really fun. Unless you hate jokes.
youtu.be/_DFgW0Q_H2E
When I got hired at my last restaurant one of the line cooks found out I was in comedy and then proceeded to ask me for weeks to "Tell him a joke' multiple times a shift until I threatened to stab him with a fork.
What’s the worst question someone can ask after you tell them your profession? For linguists, it’s definitely “how many languages do you speak?”, but I’m curious what else is happening to the rest of y’all out there?!
December 2, 2025 at 4:11 PM
When I got hired at my last restaurant one of the line cooks found out I was in comedy and then proceeded to ask me for weeks to "Tell him a joke' multiple times a shift until I threatened to stab him with a fork.
Ahhh, December. A time to enjoy the holidays, relax, and start a new and complicated knitting project for a Christmas present that you have almost no hope of finishing in time but have convinced yourself you can because you somehow manage to every year despite the stress it brings you
🎄🎄🎄
🎄🎄🎄
December 2, 2025 at 2:09 AM
Ahhh, December. A time to enjoy the holidays, relax, and start a new and complicated knitting project for a Christmas present that you have almost no hope of finishing in time but have convinced yourself you can because you somehow manage to every year despite the stress it brings you
🎄🎄🎄
🎄🎄🎄
I just want to say a big thank you to the lovely folks who have subscribed to my new Patreon! I look forward to showing you behind-the-scenes videos of me losing my mind trying to make time-sensitive comedy in my tiny living room! 😎
www.patreon.com/cw/ClareBlac...
www.patreon.com/cw/ClareBlac...
The Very Unfunny Leftist | Patreon
I want to make you laugh because our politicians make us cry!
www.patreon.com
December 2, 2025 at 12:25 AM
I just want to say a big thank you to the lovely folks who have subscribed to my new Patreon! I look forward to showing you behind-the-scenes videos of me losing my mind trying to make time-sensitive comedy in my tiny living room! 😎
www.patreon.com/cw/ClareBlac...
www.patreon.com/cw/ClareBlac...
Danielle Smith hearing that the "Alberta Forever Canada" petition has been successfully verified by Elections Alberta
December 1, 2025 at 10:33 PM
Danielle Smith hearing that the "Alberta Forever Canada" petition has been successfully verified by Elections Alberta
Reposted by Clare Blackwood
In addition to being very, very funny, Clare is perfectly positioned to channel the experience of being a rational, reasonable person in a world ruled by braying, oxygen-sucking idiots.
(That's my long-winded way of saying you should check this out.)
(That's my long-winded way of saying you should check this out.)
I HAVE A PATREON NOW! 🎉
Hello everyone. It's official: you can now support me and my comedy, if you are able to and wish to. Link to the Patreon will be below, and is also in this video's YouTube description.
I'm so excited! It's going to be really fun. Unless you hate jokes.
youtu.be/_DFgW0Q_H2E
Hello everyone. It's official: you can now support me and my comedy, if you are able to and wish to. Link to the Patreon will be below, and is also in this video's YouTube description.
I'm so excited! It's going to be really fun. Unless you hate jokes.
youtu.be/_DFgW0Q_H2E
I Have A Patreon Now!
YouTube video by Clare Blackwood
youtu.be
December 1, 2025 at 4:02 PM
In addition to being very, very funny, Clare is perfectly positioned to channel the experience of being a rational, reasonable person in a world ruled by braying, oxygen-sucking idiots.
(That's my long-winded way of saying you should check this out.)
(That's my long-winded way of saying you should check this out.)
I HAVE A PATREON NOW! 🎉
Hello everyone. It's official: you can now support me and my comedy, if you are able to and wish to. Link to the Patreon will be below, and is also in this video's YouTube description.
I'm so excited! It's going to be really fun. Unless you hate jokes.
youtu.be/_DFgW0Q_H2E
Hello everyone. It's official: you can now support me and my comedy, if you are able to and wish to. Link to the Patreon will be below, and is also in this video's YouTube description.
I'm so excited! It's going to be really fun. Unless you hate jokes.
youtu.be/_DFgW0Q_H2E
I Have A Patreon Now!
YouTube video by Clare Blackwood
youtu.be
December 1, 2025 at 3:47 PM
I HAVE A PATREON NOW! 🎉
Hello everyone. It's official: you can now support me and my comedy, if you are able to and wish to. Link to the Patreon will be below, and is also in this video's YouTube description.
I'm so excited! It's going to be really fun. Unless you hate jokes.
youtu.be/_DFgW0Q_H2E
Hello everyone. It's official: you can now support me and my comedy, if you are able to and wish to. Link to the Patreon will be below, and is also in this video's YouTube description.
I'm so excited! It's going to be really fun. Unless you hate jokes.
youtu.be/_DFgW0Q_H2E
Look ma, I'm in a CTV article talking about the USA (definitely not, absolutely not) threatening to drop patriot missiles on us!
A fictional quote from Canadian satirical website The Beaverton ended up in a Time magazine article
Canadian satirical website fools the Time Magazine
A recent Time magazine article used a quote from Canadian satire site, the Beaverton, as a fact in reference to U.S. relationships with other countries.
www.ctvnews.ca
December 1, 2025 at 1:54 AM
Look ma, I'm in a CTV article talking about the USA (definitely not, absolutely not) threatening to drop patriot missiles on us!
Hi. I'm launching a wee lil' Patreon for my political comedy content tomorrow. I'd love for you to keep an eye out for it.
I was gonna make a bigger speech than this, but it felt weird, so I'll keep it as simple as that! See you tomorrow! ❤️
I was gonna make a bigger speech than this, but it felt weird, so I'll keep it as simple as that! See you tomorrow! ❤️
November 30, 2025 at 11:51 PM
Hi. I'm launching a wee lil' Patreon for my political comedy content tomorrow. I'd love for you to keep an eye out for it.
I was gonna make a bigger speech than this, but it felt weird, so I'll keep it as simple as that! See you tomorrow! ❤️
I was gonna make a bigger speech than this, but it felt weird, so I'll keep it as simple as that! See you tomorrow! ❤️
Apparently the White House has launched an official "Media Offenders" page of their website, and to save you the trouble of looking it up, just imagine a Burn Book written by the absolute saddest of little fascist babies. Incredible stuff.
November 30, 2025 at 1:07 AM
Apparently the White House has launched an official "Media Offenders" page of their website, and to save you the trouble of looking it up, just imagine a Burn Book written by the absolute saddest of little fascist babies. Incredible stuff.
I miss baseball, dudes
November 29, 2025 at 3:41 AM
I miss baseball, dudes
Reposted by Clare Blackwood
Clare Blackwood is an exceptionally good satirist. And @clareblackwood.bsky.social is f'ing exceptionally good when she plays the character of my energy transition nightmares, Alberta Premier Danielle Smith. Watch this, belly laugh, and know it is all gonna be okay, in the end.
November 28, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Clare Blackwood is an exceptionally good satirist. And @clareblackwood.bsky.social is f'ing exceptionally good when she plays the character of my energy transition nightmares, Alberta Premier Danielle Smith. Watch this, belly laugh, and know it is all gonna be okay, in the end.
This is the kind of constructive criticism I love from my fans. Clear. Concise. Easily understood. I now know that I am, in fact, Dumb
November 28, 2025 at 11:08 PM
This is the kind of constructive criticism I love from my fans. Clear. Concise. Easily understood. I now know that I am, in fact, Dumb
I always love writing Danielle Smith speeches, because she's just so fun.
Steven Guilbeault resigns from cabinet after Danielle Smith threatens to build new pipeline through his house
Steven Guilbeault resigns from cabinet after Danielle Smith threatens to build new pipeline through his house
OTTAWA - After Mark Carney and Danielle Smith signed a new pipeline agreement yesterday, Canada’s Minister of Canadian Identity and Culture Steven Guilbeault resigned from the Prime Minister’s cabinet...
www.thebeaverton.com
November 28, 2025 at 9:27 PM
I always love writing Danielle Smith speeches, because she's just so fun.
Time Magazine quoting a @thebeaverton.com article about the US shooting a "patriot missile" at Parliament Hill like it's something Pete Hoekstra actually said might be my favourite moment of the week. Congrats, @ianmmacintyre.bsky.social, you very serious reporter! www.cbc.ca/news/world/b...
'Made-up quote' in Canadian satire site The Beaverton fools Time Magazine | CBC News
In a recent article about the United States' strained relationships with other countries, Time Magazine included a made-up quote from Canadian satire site The Beaverton — seemingly as fact.
www.cbc.ca
November 28, 2025 at 7:43 PM
Time Magazine quoting a @thebeaverton.com article about the US shooting a "patriot missile" at Parliament Hill like it's something Pete Hoekstra actually said might be my favourite moment of the week. Congrats, @ianmmacintyre.bsky.social, you very serious reporter! www.cbc.ca/news/world/b...
If Stephen Miller had had his greasy little Nazi hands on this post any more, he'd be in jail for assault and then immediately been pardoned by the president
November 28, 2025 at 5:56 PM
If Stephen Miller had had his greasy little Nazi hands on this post any more, he'd be in jail for assault and then immediately been pardoned by the president
Reposted by Clare Blackwood
Danielle Smith Celebrates Her Glorious Pipeline Victory
YouTube video by Clare Blackwood
youtu.be
November 27, 2025 at 9:13 PM
He's staring at me like he knows what I did (I do not know what I did)
November 28, 2025 at 3:18 AM
He's staring at me like he knows what I did (I do not know what I did)
Maybe our Prime Minister will see my latest Danielle Smith video and hire me as his new Minister of Hypocrisy, that would be fun
youtu.be/GVk54cla9zw
youtu.be/GVk54cla9zw
November 28, 2025 at 12:56 AM
Maybe our Prime Minister will see my latest Danielle Smith video and hire me as his new Minister of Hypocrisy, that would be fun
youtu.be/GVk54cla9zw
youtu.be/GVk54cla9zw
Danielle Smith Celebrates Her Glorious Pipeline Victory
YouTube video by Clare Blackwood
youtu.be
November 27, 2025 at 9:13 PM
Still can't get over the fact that sports players' female partners are just called "WAGS". Like if I were a woman with hopes and dreams and a career who just happened to be dating a guy who hits balls with a stick for a living, and someone called me a "WAG" to my face, I think I'd bite them
November 27, 2025 at 6:12 PM
Still can't get over the fact that sports players' female partners are just called "WAGS". Like if I were a woman with hopes and dreams and a career who just happened to be dating a guy who hits balls with a stick for a living, and someone called me a "WAG" to my face, I think I'd bite them
It's midnight, it's cold, but I'm The Talent so I'm grateful
November 27, 2025 at 5:29 AM
It's midnight, it's cold, but I'm The Talent so I'm grateful
RUN IT BACK BABY, RUN IT BACK
BREAKING: The New York Post has learned Dylan Cease to Blue Jays. $210M, 7 years
November 26, 2025 at 11:55 PM
RUN IT BACK BABY, RUN IT BACK
Hello Toronto Bluesky! If you like piano and you're looking for something lovely to do Saturday afternoon, my brilliant brother is playing a piano concert at Avenue Road Music! He is absurdly talented. I can't wait. avenueroadmusic.com/events/190/b...
Bryn Blackwood - Darkness and Light in the Music of Scriabin and Liszt - Avenue Road Music and Performance Academy
Avenue Road Music and Performance Academy is a cross-cultural musical experiment such as ours inspires audiences with optimism and hope for a world where diverse cultures do not clash but rather reson...
avenueroadmusic.com
November 26, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Hello Toronto Bluesky! If you like piano and you're looking for something lovely to do Saturday afternoon, my brilliant brother is playing a piano concert at Avenue Road Music! He is absurdly talented. I can't wait. avenueroadmusic.com/events/190/b...
They refuse to acknowledge that a huge reason Canadians aren't coming there is because they're led by a man who gets off on throwing innocent people in Venezuela torture prisons and checking our phones at the border for subversive memes. It's almost fascinating.
share.google/mTZbIqyUWcJa...
share.google/mTZbIqyUWcJa...
U.S. senators say tariffs causing ‘cultural break’ in relations with Canada - National | Globalnews.ca
Maine Senator King said the lingering rift between Canadians and Americans is particularly troubling in a state that borders on New Brunswick and Quebec.
share.google
November 26, 2025 at 4:18 PM
They refuse to acknowledge that a huge reason Canadians aren't coming there is because they're led by a man who gets off on throwing innocent people in Venezuela torture prisons and checking our phones at the border for subversive memes. It's almost fascinating.
share.google/mTZbIqyUWcJa...
share.google/mTZbIqyUWcJa...
I'm officially launching my Patreon next week and currently feeling like some sort of out-of-work Renaissance painter desperately in need of wealthy patronage, except instead of painting the Sistine Chapel I'll be cavorting around my living room in a Danielle Smith wig ranting about clean energy.
November 26, 2025 at 2:18 AM
I'm officially launching my Patreon next week and currently feeling like some sort of out-of-work Renaissance painter desperately in need of wealthy patronage, except instead of painting the Sistine Chapel I'll be cavorting around my living room in a Danielle Smith wig ranting about clean energy.