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Andy Churnwell

@churnwell.bsky.social

1.8K followers 270 following 2.5K posts

Princess Diana Legacy award-winning broadcaster on Emblem Digital and Superdrug FM. Centrist. Landlord ally. Ruddles. Bazake Media. [email protected]

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · Jul 17

As a professional broadcaster with 5 decades of music expertise I know everything there is know about music. This compilation, release some years ago, is a collection of what I regard as the best music ever released. All killer. No filler. Links below:

LP cover for the above mentioned album. Me doing the thumbs up in a studio; cartoon of me holding a record beside it; "big in the german-speaking world" at the bottom.

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 1h

Darlo savoury in Darlington indoor market. Proper British values. I JUST WANT MY COUNTRY BACK! 🇬🇧

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 14h

It's amazing to think that there was a time before social media when, if you were a gobshite, everybody ignored you. There was no way to make money saying stupid, provocative things because nobody wanted anything to do with you.

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 19h

Obituaries for the Lostprophets rock nonce are already rolling in.

Kontantin Kisin tweet: I have no words. I don't understand how to live in a world where someone would take a father away from his young children for having a different opinion.

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 19h

BREAKING Sir Keir has taken credit for the stabbing of rock nonce Ian Watkin, describing the incident as "another Labour success story".

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 1d

Your dad's voting Reform because he misses those halcyon days when Sex On The Beach by T-Spoon was topping the charts. I'm so so sorry to have to tell you this.

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 1d

Unleash the power of Labour's national renewal. Turbocharge Britain’s future with leaner, stronger, optimised services. It’s not austerity. It’s EFFICIENCY EVOLUTION. Drink the change. Feel the growth.™

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 1d

Young Bob, get outta my mind
My disgust of you is way out of line
You better run, Bob
You're much too young, Bob

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 1d

Big head, la-da-da-da-da
Big head la-da-da-da
Big head strikes again
And I've got no right to take my place
With the human race, oh, oh, oh-oh

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 2d

I painted a St George's flag on a hard boiled egg. I JUST WANT MY COUNTRY BACK. 😡

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 2d

These days, the questions on Question Time are just somebody who defrauded the country's racist comment with a question mark at the end.

Question Time still. Question is: Was Jenrick right about no white faces?

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 2d

Right-wing think tank Fortress UK Research Centre have erected this patriotic Rolf Harris statue to offend the woke blob.

Rolf Harris statue flashing his union flag waistcoat.

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 2d

Yesterday it was: "I just looked at saucy images on my computer, but that was it." Today it's: "Yes, maybe I tried wanking, but I never climaxed." Sir Keir is playing 4d chess again. And winning.

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 2d

Sir Keir's Bill Clinton moment: "Yes, I've accessed saucy images before, but let me be clear: I have never in my life 'had a wank'."

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 2d

Sir Keir's Bill Clinton moment: "Yes, I've accessed saucy images before, but let me be clear: I have never in my life 'had a wank'."

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 2d

Whenever I see this man I think: "I bet he lays down the thunder in the bedroom."

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 3d

American anti-trans activist Graham Linehan cuts a cool figure on the red carpet of the Pizza Hut Sissy Porn Awards.

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 3d

If I had this beard I would simply pay a laser technician to incinerate my hair follicles so that nothing can ever grow again.

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 3d

Sir Keir's trademark trick on the football pitch is to point in one direction and say, "I'm going to go there," before cunningly moving in a different direction.

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 3d

They told them a famous footballer from England would be visiting and they assumed it would be Saka or something.

Sir Keir and an Indian youth football team.

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 3d

Sir Keir has recorded and mixed his debut album And Here Come The Tears with producer Timbaland.

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 4d

Linehan with sandwich board with shit written on it and "fuck" on face.

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 4d

He's only gone and written "fuck" on his face. What is he like!? 🤪

Marilyn Manson with "fuck" written on his face.

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 4d

A Rob Schneider Film.

Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 4d

Film idea: a divorced comedy writer (Gram Lineham) constructs robotic trousers that allow him to convert his transphobia into farts. His aim: to win the attention of the woman of his dreams.

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 5d

We've had Charlie Kirk, anti-abortion stuff, transphobia, anti-vax campaigns. What's the next American evangelical Christian issue that'll sweep across this nation like Chubby Checker's The Twist in 1958?

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Andy Churnwell @churnwell.bsky.social · 5d

You're hooking up with some guy on Grindr. He's gorgeous. The chemistry is great. You're making out, caressing each other. He gestures to the bedroom and that's when you spot this on the coffee table.

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