The last Chuck-E-cheese
banner
chuckeplease.bsky.social
The last Chuck-E-cheese
@chuckeplease.bsky.social
65 followers 1 following 48 posts
Now with 74% less asbestos The lawsuits couldnt keep us down
Posts Media Videos Starter Packs
Mr. Munch was put down humanly in 2005 to avoid a repeat of the 1997 incident
Chuck-E-cheese is in compliance with anti gambling laws. Any parent caught letting their kids gamble will be banned to table 14 for the remainder of their stay
This is a safe space for kids, we swear
The AI glitched please this is a safe space for kids dont tell anyone that this isn't a safe space for kids. Oh god
If ICE wants to raid our restaurant, we got exposed nails and a flooded parking lot that says "no"

Also, Suzanne open carries
We can't prove it, but we know our former associate Claire is (allegedly) to blame for the number of people who bring cats to the restaurant as a prank. For obvious reasons, this is a hazard to our establishment and brand.

Because they shit everywhere
Chuck-E-cheese
where a kid can kill a kid
But if it does happen, tell Suzanne. She's the only one who can reboot the router, so we trust her on this
You know what else is dangerous, Nick? Passing up on our spooky season pumpkin spice Chuckaritas promotion!
We are pleased to announce that we have fully integrated genAI into all aspects of our restaurant. There are still some bugs to work out but the toilet barely tells you to kill yourself so we're counting this as a win
Due to the hilarious albeit letigious April's fool incident of 2025, the police union has informed us that patrols will no longer service our area as we have been deemed a "hazard". Libertarians are still not welcome, though
Our lawyer has advised us to neither acknowledge nor condone this statement
If nothing else, come to Chuck-E-cheese for the nostalgia. We heard there's even a guy who sells angel dust in the parking lot
Please do not contact the health department. Those are just members of Chuck's family who have come to visit him for the weekend! Please do not contact the health department
No, trust us, they were just getting started.
Reposted by The last Chuck-E-cheese
Ok, we can't believe we have to make a statement about this, but the booger wall behind table 14 is not an official Chuck-E-cheese attraction, and anyone caught contributing to it will be banned
The Michelin guide describes our pizza's texture as "distressing"
Well, not BANNED banned, but like you will have to finish your plate in your car
Ok, we can't believe we have to make a statement about this, but the booger wall behind table 14 is not an official Chuck-E-cheese attraction, and anyone caught contributing to it will be banned
It has been banned from all chuck-E-cheese facilities since 1991. Didn't you read the sign?