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Christopher Joyce - Author

@chrisjauthor.bsky.social

570 followers 530 following 780 posts

Middlesbrough-born horror and fantasy author; guitarist, songwriter, lutenist-in-training; future travelling bard... https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/Christopher-Joyce/author/B08DMC28TX?ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true

www.amazon.co.uk

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Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 55m

- Happy Halloween to me...
🍷
#thecastingoffrankstone
#deadbydaylight
#Halloween

Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 11h

Sadly true...

Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 11h

Because Reform don't think women will be murdered if they're at home cooking and cleaning all day, like they were in the 1950s.
Repugnant, misogynist dinosaurs.

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Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 11h

Nope, me too. It didn't know whether it wanted to be a horror, a drama, or a comedy. Total mess.

1 2

Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 15h

Yes, because nobody in THE REST OF THE WORLD is also doing those things... FFS...

Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 1d

- Just started 'Children of Time' by @aptshadow.bsky.social ... God dammit, it just HAD to be spiders, didn't it...?
If anyone needs me, I'll be hiding under the bed.
🕷 😨

Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 1d

'The tariffs charged against them...' - He really doesn't understand, does he...?
Fucking loon.

Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 1d

Why is he so obsessed with Biden? It's like he can't get over his ex, or something.
That, and he's just a massive, massive cunt.

Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 1d

It's Mario Maker that really does it for me.
🟨🟦🟦🟦🟦.....

Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 1d

- Champions!!! Top of the league!!! Up the 'Boro!!!
Oh, wait... hang on a sec... Wrong league table.
#middlesbrough #UTB #Boro

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Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 1d

- 'A (something) of (something) and (something)' - coming soon...
Now to decide which generic words to include... So far I have: 'Storm', 'Court', 'Thorn', 'Fae', 'Dance', 'Winter', 'Sword', 'Night', and 'Song'.
(Seriously, this trend needs to end, guys...SJM got there first. Let it go... Move on)

Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 1d

My Dad can fight your Dad... I've got more toys than you... My shoes are better than your shoes...
Child.

Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 2d

Or we'll arrange a civil war when we're in a good mood, but when the day actually comes, we'll realise we don't actually want to be social and just stay at home instead...

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Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 2d

😅 Exactly...

Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 2d

Pennywise Mordaunt
Terror Venables
Spook Stoltman
Trick Mayall or Treat Ulrich
Emma Grave Stone
Zom-Bea Arthur
Bob-for-apples Mortimer
Ghost Buster Keating

Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 2d

Fuck sake... the sooner this lot die out, the better. 1950s attitudes have no place in 2025.

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Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 2d

- Urgh.. feel like shit with a cold, and I'm mega-busy at work... Cannot - and I repeat - CANNOT - be fucked. 🤕

Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 2d

...but we'll need to stop at 17:15 so we can watch 'Pointless' followed by 'Richard Osman's House of Games.'

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Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 2d

'Civil war'??? Oh good, for a moment there I thought you were gonna completely overreact and use hysterical, hyperbolic language.
Fuck off, man... We're a million miles from anything of the sort.
The vast majority of Brits are just happily going about their business offline, away from the hysterics.

Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 2d

I'm English, so abso-fucking-lutely.

Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 2d

-You said mean things about me, you smelly poop head' - the US government.

Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 3d

a scary clown is standing in the middle of a field of tall grass .

ALT: a scary clown is standing in the middle of a field of tall grass .

media.tenor.com

Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 3d

Apologises, but still thinks it.

1 1

Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 3d

But policies such free breakfast clubs in every primary school, 30hrs of free childcare per week, and nationalised healthcare, free at the point of use, are examples of 'evil socialism', right...?
🤦‍♂️

Christopher Joyce - Author @chrisjauthor.bsky.social · 3d

- Mutes the word 'Baseball'...