chloe
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chloemonkeylion.bsky.social
chloe
@chloemonkeylion.bsky.social
contender for world record in longest running quarter life crisis
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Last year I was doing everything for the plot and I swear this year the plot is doing me
Nothing sums up my year like my Spotify wrapped bc who else listened to manchild that much
December 12, 2025 at 7:39 PM
Imagine matching with me on a dating app and thinking I’m some mysterious baddie and then finding me on Literally Any Platform and discovering my personality
December 12, 2025 at 6:59 PM
I wanna be a tram driver baby!
December 12, 2025 at 6:58 PM
I failed my drivers test AGAIN and I feel like atp this is like the bird scene in victorious like im not gonna get my license until when the censor asks how I did at the end of the test I can actually stand up for myself and say I did well
December 8, 2025 at 9:03 PM
Why does the fyre festival dude lowkey kinda look like Schmidt from new girl
December 7, 2025 at 7:20 PM
“Americans don’t know anything about geography” idk about you but I can go bar for bar on this
December 4, 2025 at 9:15 AM
I am all in favor of banning kids from social media don’t get me wrong but I hope Australia realizes that this means 6 7 is never gonna die in their country
December 3, 2025 at 9:03 PM
Got my Spotify wrapped today and party 4 u is surprisingly low down in the list despite me playing it everyday from like April to August
December 3, 2025 at 7:01 PM
Reposted by chloe
how bad me be if I dung ins the out & dragons?
November 22, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Never beating the weird girl allegations (I grew up obsessed with littlest pet shop CSI)
December 2, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Have any of you ever done downward dog with a migraine bc oh my god that shit HURTS 📢
November 24, 2025 at 10:12 AM
Remembering when I took functional alignment in college and I was the only one who didn’t have a thin mat and I was like “wow guess I didn’t get the memo” and then we started doing the Irene dowd exercises and I was like mwahahahahaah
November 15, 2025 at 7:46 AM
Trying to remain mysterious and cool while checking for food in my teeth with my phone camera wbu
November 9, 2025 at 12:23 PM
Hahahaha but it’s that one remix of what makes you beautiful by 1D that went viral 13 years ago
November 7, 2025 at 1:02 PM
We don’t talk about dance academy enough bc why tf was Tara Webster wearing FISHNETS to a funeral
November 7, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Balu brigada come to Oslo challenge bc I NEED to hear backseat live
October 31, 2025 at 11:34 PM
Left middle finger: 0 Chloe: 2
October 30, 2025 at 11:17 PM
The thing that sucks about bluesky is that I’m just as funny as I was on Twitter but now I only have 8 followers to show for it
October 23, 2025 at 9:17 PM
Completely convinced that Sabrura sushi would give any Washingtonian a stroke
October 23, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Anyways the deadline for my 12-17 page paper got moved to next week and I already have 3000 words written city girls up
October 21, 2025 at 7:15 PM
I am CHOPPED, absolutely COOKED if I have to parallel park during my driver’s test tomorrow
October 21, 2025 at 7:13 PM
Stalking vegvesenets website like an obsessive ex bc I want my license and I want it NOW
October 11, 2025 at 10:00 AM
I think we should normalize Halloween parties every weekend in October. I need more Halloween.
September 24, 2025 at 12:03 PM
Nothing I love more than a good nook. Can throw a cranny in there too.
September 22, 2025 at 11:36 AM
Is it socially acceptable as a 26 year old to own a beanbag chair? Asking for a friend
September 16, 2025 at 5:34 PM