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chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · 15d

I'll be okay for a day then I have to go to work and it's misery again

chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · 29d

I prefer to post here bc talking to my friends about it feels like I'm torturing them

Reposted

a midsummer nightmare @unhingedcatboi.bsky.social · 29d

you’re laughing, the rapture is tomorrow and you’re laughing

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chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · 29d

Last line of defense is telling my parents I'm suicidal and I wanna go home

chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · 29d

You know when a dog or horse get hurt and you have to put them down bc otherwise they'd love a miserable life? Das me y'all gonna have to let me go idk

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chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · 29d

Life would go on

chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · 29d

I'm well aware of the burden I am in everyone's life and how unhappy I make everyone around me

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chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · 29d

Like you'll definitely feel bad but eventually it'll stop hurting you and you'll maybe even find your life is better without me in it and it might make you feel a little guilty but it will be true and that's fine

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chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · 29d

I feel like me killing myself is something people would be sad about initially but eventually get over

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chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · 29d

No like what is the fucking point

chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · 29d

This is so funny cuz I called it, nothing I put effort into gets any fucking where

chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · Sep 17

The school is being weird with my submission and if they fuck up and I don't get to graduate again this year I kill myself like I should have last year 👍🏾

chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · 29d

and I'm at ground zero every time. To the point where I genuinely just do not feel understood at all. I've tried everything and I Can't see the improvements, in fact it has gotten worst bc I am actively seeing that it's doesn't make a difference I do not see the point any of this

chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · 29d

I accept that and I can finally get my degree and now I'm being told I still can't get it. i accept that struggling and need help and tired to get help and I barely feel better I admit when I fk up and try to do better and apologize and try to be good to the people around me

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chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · 29d

Last year I was the most depressed I've ever been and I'm like okay let me try to fix things, I get the new job I work late and to get extra hours in Soni can do the best that I can I do my thesis on time so it can get graded I try to make time for my friends

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chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · 29d

I'm really at my limit with what life can throw at me

chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · Sep 22

Whoops, forgot nobody cares about me, my bad

chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · Sep 17

The school is being weird with my submission and if they fuck up and I don't get to graduate again this year I kill myself like I should have last year 👍🏾

chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · Sep 16

😔

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chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · Sep 16

If therapy works why am I fighting a panic attack at work

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chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · Jul 31

I don't know what to do anymore I booked a therapist but what am I supposed to do till then and what am I supposed to do until it starts working

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chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · Jul 31

Noise in my head noise in my head noise in my head noise in my head noise in my head noise in my head noise in my head noise in my head noise in my head noise in my head noise in my head noise in my head

chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · Jul 31

I think I'm losing my grip lol. Like I have been struggling yes but it's starting to feel out of body

chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · Jul 31

It feels like it's cuz it's me, like who cares

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chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · Jul 31

Nobody's really getting how bad it is this time. I can't envision myself in the future

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chinichincheeks.bsky.social @chinichincheeks.bsky.social · Jul 31

Not sure what I'll do if this new therapist 2 years later after struggling so much also yields the same results, cuz then it's really hopeless