Adam Cayton-Holland
@caytonholland.bsky.social
A simple man, delighted by birds.
Last night a man in a cowboy hat told me it's not easy to get him gigglin', but I got him gigglin'.
Then he shook my hand harder than anyone has ever shook my hand, dead eye contact.
And I'm pretty sure I'm his apprentice now.
Then he shook my hand harder than anyone has ever shook my hand, dead eye contact.
And I'm pretty sure I'm his apprentice now.
December 21, 2025 at 8:21 PM
Last night a man in a cowboy hat told me it's not easy to get him gigglin', but I got him gigglin'.
Then he shook my hand harder than anyone has ever shook my hand, dead eye contact.
And I'm pretty sure I'm his apprentice now.
Then he shook my hand harder than anyone has ever shook my hand, dead eye contact.
And I'm pretty sure I'm his apprentice now.
Reposted by Adam Cayton-Holland
A WORD (two words) FOR MY HATERS. Watch #NightThoughts on Hulu.
December 19, 2025 at 3:10 PM
A WORD (two words) FOR MY HATERS. Watch #NightThoughts on Hulu.
TWO SHOWS TONIGHT! TWO SHOWS TOMORROW! NORTHERN COLORADO: MOUNT UP!
Fort Collins! I'm heading your way next weekend. Two shows 12/19, two shows 12/20. These show WILL NOT BLOW. That's the ACH guarantee, and that's as good as crypto, homey. Get tickets now. I'll try not to say "homey" at the show. No promises tho, homey.
www.comedyfortcollins.com/events/125085
www.comedyfortcollins.com/events/125085
December 19, 2025 at 6:22 PM
TWO SHOWS TONIGHT! TWO SHOWS TOMORROW! NORTHERN COLORADO: MOUNT UP!
Hello!
If you're a fan of my standup, and want to see a show, follow me on PunchupLive. You'll get an email when I'm performing near you. No more BS than that.
And, you'll get access to this joke! Which is one of my favorites I've ever written.
See you at a show!
punchup.live/adamcaytonho...
If you're a fan of my standup, and want to see a show, follow me on PunchupLive. You'll get an email when I'm performing near you. No more BS than that.
And, you'll get access to this joke! Which is one of my favorites I've ever written.
See you at a show!
punchup.live/adamcaytonho...
December 18, 2025 at 6:25 PM
Hello!
If you're a fan of my standup, and want to see a show, follow me on PunchupLive. You'll get an email when I'm performing near you. No more BS than that.
And, you'll get access to this joke! Which is one of my favorites I've ever written.
See you at a show!
punchup.live/adamcaytonho...
If you're a fan of my standup, and want to see a show, follow me on PunchupLive. You'll get an email when I'm performing near you. No more BS than that.
And, you'll get access to this joke! Which is one of my favorites I've ever written.
See you at a show!
punchup.live/adamcaytonho...
The Broncos, Nuggets, and Avalanche could legit win championships this year.
One of the Rockies just parked my car at a steakhouse.
One of the Rockies just parked my car at a steakhouse.
December 16, 2025 at 7:15 PM
The Broncos, Nuggets, and Avalanche could legit win championships this year.
One of the Rockies just parked my car at a steakhouse.
One of the Rockies just parked my car at a steakhouse.
Got to perform comedy for the first night of Hanukkah at the JCC Boulder last night, and it felt really special to eat latkes and laugh and celebrate in a room full of thoughtful, kind, resilient people.
December 15, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Got to perform comedy for the first night of Hanukkah at the JCC Boulder last night, and it felt really special to eat latkes and laugh and celebrate in a room full of thoughtful, kind, resilient people.
Stepped in dog shit so I threw my shoes in the trash and I feel like this is the start of my movie.
December 14, 2025 at 9:37 PM
Stepped in dog shit so I threw my shoes in the trash and I feel like this is the start of my movie.
Had steak and mashed potatoes for dinner last night, and there was some leftover, so now I'm just in my kitchen at noon, shoveling mashed potatoes into my face and laughing, and honestly for the first time in awhile I feel like things are maybe going to be okay.
December 12, 2025 at 7:12 PM
Had steak and mashed potatoes for dinner last night, and there was some leftover, so now I'm just in my kitchen at noon, shoveling mashed potatoes into my face and laughing, and honestly for the first time in awhile I feel like things are maybe going to be okay.
Ohio! Doing some AL/NL Central barnstorming through the dead of January because I'm nuts like that.
NUTS!
Cleveland, January 9, two shows, Hilarities
Cincinnati, January 10, two shows, The Comet
Get tix now!
www.adamcaytonholland.com/shows
NUTS!
Cleveland, January 9, two shows, Hilarities
Cincinnati, January 10, two shows, The Comet
Get tix now!
www.adamcaytonholland.com/shows
December 12, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Ohio! Doing some AL/NL Central barnstorming through the dead of January because I'm nuts like that.
NUTS!
Cleveland, January 9, two shows, Hilarities
Cincinnati, January 10, two shows, The Comet
Get tix now!
www.adamcaytonholland.com/shows
NUTS!
Cleveland, January 9, two shows, Hilarities
Cincinnati, January 10, two shows, The Comet
Get tix now!
www.adamcaytonholland.com/shows
Fort Collins! I'm heading your way next weekend. Two shows 12/19, two shows 12/20. These show WILL NOT BLOW. That's the ACH guarantee, and that's as good as crypto, homey. Get tickets now. I'll try not to say "homey" at the show. No promises tho, homey.
www.comedyfortcollins.com/events/125085
www.comedyfortcollins.com/events/125085
December 12, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Fort Collins! I'm heading your way next weekend. Two shows 12/19, two shows 12/20. These show WILL NOT BLOW. That's the ACH guarantee, and that's as good as crypto, homey. Get tickets now. I'll try not to say "homey" at the show. No promises tho, homey.
www.comedyfortcollins.com/events/125085
www.comedyfortcollins.com/events/125085
If you can't get behind a story where a 44-year-old comes out of retirement to play quarterback for an NFL team, then you don't want to see Phillip Rivers choke on turf as much as you're supposed to.
December 12, 2025 at 3:20 AM
If you can't get behind a story where a 44-year-old comes out of retirement to play quarterback for an NFL team, then you don't want to see Phillip Rivers choke on turf as much as you're supposed to.
Literally can't believe I get to type that the movie that I wrote, based off my life, See You When I See You, is premiering at the 2026 #SundanceFilmFestival. Tickets go on sale for the screening, January 14. More info @sundance.org. So excited for people to see this incredible movie.
December 10, 2025 at 6:17 PM
Literally can't believe I get to type that the movie that I wrote, based off my life, See You When I See You, is premiering at the 2026 #SundanceFilmFestival. Tickets go on sale for the screening, January 14. More info @sundance.org. So excited for people to see this incredible movie.
Dear @nuggets.bsky.social: I've been to three games this season, and you are yet to play Weezer's "My Name is Jonas," whenever Valanciunas does something great,
Can we get someone on this?
Can we get someone on this?
December 8, 2025 at 9:22 PM
Dear @nuggets.bsky.social: I've been to three games this season, and you are yet to play Weezer's "My Name is Jonas," whenever Valanciunas does something great,
Can we get someone on this?
Can we get someone on this?
I bet when I'm on my deathbed I'll look back over my life and really regret all the time I spent peeling hard boiled eggs.
December 8, 2025 at 3:11 AM
I bet when I'm on my deathbed I'll look back over my life and really regret all the time I spent peeling hard boiled eggs.
Got recognized at a kid's birthday party today. Not for my comedy. A dad recognized me from another kid's birthday party. Anyway, come check out a show soon or whatever.
December 6, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Got recognized at a kid's birthday party today. Not for my comedy. A dad recognized me from another kid's birthday party. Anyway, come check out a show soon or whatever.
Finally, someone has the balls to tackle the Venezuelan fisherman issue.
December 4, 2025 at 9:04 PM
Finally, someone has the balls to tackle the Venezuelan fisherman issue.
Spotify is trying so hard not to have everyone hate them and it's adorable.
December 2, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Spotify is trying so hard not to have everyone hate them and it's adorable.
December's Substack is out and lighting up the airwaves! Give it a read! open.substack.com/pub/adamcayt...
December 1, 2025 at 6:17 PM
December's Substack is out and lighting up the airwaves! Give it a read! open.substack.com/pub/adamcayt...
TICKETS FLYING FOR TONIGHT'S HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS GRAWLIX. KILLER LINEUP AND A SECRET SPECIAL GUEST. GET TIX NOW BEFORE THEY'RE GONE!!!
thegrawlix.ticketsauce.com/e/grawlix1125
thegrawlix.ticketsauce.com/e/grawlix1125
November 29, 2025 at 4:39 PM
TICKETS FLYING FOR TONIGHT'S HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS GRAWLIX. KILLER LINEUP AND A SECRET SPECIAL GUEST. GET TIX NOW BEFORE THEY'RE GONE!!!
thegrawlix.ticketsauce.com/e/grawlix1125
thegrawlix.ticketsauce.com/e/grawlix1125
If Gronk joins ICE will he finally get USAA health insurance?
November 27, 2025 at 8:06 PM
If Gronk joins ICE will he finally get USAA health insurance?
Grateful for all the pre-programmed Thanksgiving e-mails from corporations.
November 27, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Grateful for all the pre-programmed Thanksgiving e-mails from corporations.
Shaggy Dragged Four City Blocks Beneath Bronx Zoo Float.
November 27, 2025 at 4:59 PM
Shaggy Dragged Four City Blocks Beneath Bronx Zoo Float.
Reposted by Adam Cayton-Holland
A night with the legend @caytonholland.bsky.social
November 23, 2025 at 2:05 AM
A night with the legend @caytonholland.bsky.social
I had this pair of corduroy pants with a draw string, super comfy, and I just didn't really care for them. So they just hung in the lost.
THEN, a switch flipped, and now I'm absolutely mad for them! I wear them all the time, and I don't even know what changed!
Life, man. It really comes at ya.
THEN, a switch flipped, and now I'm absolutely mad for them! I wear them all the time, and I don't even know what changed!
Life, man. It really comes at ya.
November 21, 2025 at 3:00 PM
I had this pair of corduroy pants with a draw string, super comfy, and I just didn't really care for them. So they just hung in the lost.
THEN, a switch flipped, and now I'm absolutely mad for them! I wear them all the time, and I don't even know what changed!
Life, man. It really comes at ya.
THEN, a switch flipped, and now I'm absolutely mad for them! I wear them all the time, and I don't even know what changed!
Life, man. It really comes at ya.