𝗖👽𝗥𝗟
@carl.bsky.social
A stupid little idiot with a heart of g̶o̶l̶d̶ worms! Physical manifestation of swamp gas! Top UFO expert! Toxic positivity! Rancid vibes! Uncomfortably weird! Possibly Canadian? Drawing silly little pictures!
🛸 https://mastodon.social/@cvo
🛸 https://mastodon.social/@cvo
Pinned
I spent money today because the special cat food my babies need to eat so they don't get hives and butthole eyes was FORTY PERCENT OFF.
November 29, 2025 at 12:10 AM
I spent money today because the special cat food my babies need to eat so they don't get hives and butthole eyes was FORTY PERCENT OFF.
Bernice looks down at me with disdain from atop her extremely hairy and dilapidated cat tree because I dared to wipe an errant turd off her butt
November 28, 2025 at 9:02 PM
Bernice looks down at me with disdain from atop her extremely hairy and dilapidated cat tree because I dared to wipe an errant turd off her butt
Udon soup for all the sluts (me)
November 27, 2025 at 12:04 AM
Udon soup for all the sluts (me)
Reposted by 𝗖👽𝗥𝗟
The man or bear question is flawed to me because I'm Canadian and our bears are real misogynistic up here. Can't even free bleed in Banff no more. At least cooter blood makes most dudes go "ew". Big beefy bears? Not so much. They'll come right up as if being invited to a really gross picnic.
November 26, 2025 at 8:10 PM
The man or bear question is flawed to me because I'm Canadian and our bears are real misogynistic up here. Can't even free bleed in Banff no more. At least cooter blood makes most dudes go "ew". Big beefy bears? Not so much. They'll come right up as if being invited to a really gross picnic.
Reposted by 𝗖👽𝗥𝗟
i've just found out that my cat's lil ears are quite chilly in our warm home. what a goober. the guy has chilly ears
November 26, 2025 at 7:00 AM
i've just found out that my cat's lil ears are quite chilly in our warm home. what a goober. the guy has chilly ears
I was 7 points away from mahjong master and lost a bunch and now... DEPRESSION. I have played just shy of a thousand games :(
November 25, 2025 at 1:00 AM
I was 7 points away from mahjong master and lost a bunch and now... DEPRESSION. I have played just shy of a thousand games :(
THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS JESUS FILLS ME or something
November 24, 2025 at 9:25 PM
THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS JESUS FILLS ME or something
Holy shit your guys I won over my nextdoor neighbour and now we are friends!!!!
November 24, 2025 at 9:19 PM
Holy shit your guys I won over my nextdoor neighbour and now we are friends!!!!
A little Christmas orange to go with my iron pill 🍊💊
November 24, 2025 at 1:08 PM
A little Christmas orange to go with my iron pill 🍊💊
Reposted by 𝗖👽𝗥𝗟
blood diamonds? lol you mean rubies
November 24, 2025 at 5:24 AM
blood diamonds? lol you mean rubies
Reposted by 𝗖👽𝗥𝗟
The moon Callisto has a hollow interior inhabited by ape people, reptilians, grays, cromagnon transplants, ghost orbs, insectoids, lava monsters, automotons, elfs, wise energy clouds, mummies, and so on.
November 24, 2025 at 5:26 AM
The moon Callisto has a hollow interior inhabited by ape people, reptilians, grays, cromagnon transplants, ghost orbs, insectoids, lava monsters, automotons, elfs, wise energy clouds, mummies, and so on.
Reposted by 𝗖👽𝗥𝗟
deep frying a frozen solid turkey in my basement
November 21, 2024 at 1:28 PM
deep frying a frozen solid turkey in my basement
In terms of the secretive reptilians, Paul Rudd is the most handsome of his species.
November 23, 2025 at 10:33 PM
In terms of the secretive reptilians, Paul Rudd is the most handsome of his species.
People always ask me what a grey alien tastes like. A little like lutefisk and pop rocks.
November 23, 2025 at 1:10 PM
People always ask me what a grey alien tastes like. A little like lutefisk and pop rocks.
POPE POPE POPE... POPEY POPE POPE 🎵
November 23, 2025 at 12:20 PM
POPE POPE POPE... POPEY POPE POPE 🎵
I told my bf that we should put up Christmas lights this year since we finally have a house and all so he went out and got electric blue bulbs and little rainbow disco lights. I mean... close enough I guess!
November 23, 2025 at 12:10 PM
I told my bf that we should put up Christmas lights this year since we finally have a house and all so he went out and got electric blue bulbs and little rainbow disco lights. I mean... close enough I guess!
Reposted by 𝗖👽𝗥𝗟
There really is a wiki how for everything
November 23, 2025 at 5:37 AM
There really is a wiki how for everything
Show me the alien bodies you stupid bitches fuck the shadow government or whatever idgaf stop making excuses and do it I command thee look into your hearts and express yourselves
November 23, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Show me the alien bodies you stupid bitches fuck the shadow government or whatever idgaf stop making excuses and do it I command thee look into your hearts and express yourselves
The fingernail tapping ~influencers~ do in their dumb little product videos makes me GAG for some reason and it's funny but I also wonder why my body has this particular response stored in its vestigial memory banks.
November 22, 2025 at 12:48 PM
The fingernail tapping ~influencers~ do in their dumb little product videos makes me GAG for some reason and it's funny but I also wonder why my body has this particular response stored in its vestigial memory banks.
I don't kill bugs or animals so I need to figure out a way to draft up a truce between the piss mice and I that doesn't involve letting Randall loose on their urine soaked asses.
November 22, 2025 at 1:10 AM
I don't kill bugs or animals so I need to figure out a way to draft up a truce between the piss mice and I that doesn't involve letting Randall loose on their urine soaked asses.
Reposted by 𝗖👽𝗥𝗟
mice are like small portals to the piss dimension, same as turtles
November 21, 2025 at 10:17 PM
mice are like small portals to the piss dimension, same as turtles
*lays on the ground covered in hanta virus and despair*
November 21, 2025 at 10:16 PM
*lays on the ground covered in hanta virus and despair*
Went into the shop to get supplies for Christmas cards and it turns out that mice had many nights of debauchery on all of my fucking paper and sketchbooks. How can something so little PISS AND SHIT SO MUCH? In in a bad mood because I've put things off and Canada Post is still on strike and WAH!
November 21, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Went into the shop to get supplies for Christmas cards and it turns out that mice had many nights of debauchery on all of my fucking paper and sketchbooks. How can something so little PISS AND SHIT SO MUCH? In in a bad mood because I've put things off and Canada Post is still on strike and WAH!