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The Realistic Caregiver

@caregiverqueen.bsky.social

750 followers 940 following 720 posts

I'm Laura Raymond, a family caregiver advocate & writer. Daily caregiving tips & advice here, plus new articles published each Friday on Substack. Available for personalized care plans & help, too. 💙💙💙 You Got This!

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The Realistic Caregiver @caregiverqueen.bsky.social · Jan 1

There's more than 39 million caregivers working in America, and most of us are struggling. Many of us are unpaid, or paid very little. And any local support you may have is often hard to find.

My goal in 2025 is to help as many of us family caregivers as I can. Please reach out when you need help!

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Reposted by The Realistic Caregiver

Author Krishna Prasanth Guttikonda @krishna-author.bsky.social · 17h

medium.com/@guttikondak... #bluesky #booksky #blacksky

I Shall Not Live in Vain: Finding Purpose Through Words and Kindness

I Shall Not Live in Vain: Finding Purpose Through Words and Kindness Emily Dickinson once wrote, “If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.” These simple lines hold an …

medium.com

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Reposted by The Realistic Caregiver

caregiverwarrior.bsky.social @caregiverwarrior.bsky.social · 17h

Weapon of the day: when we hold on to our mistakes longer than it takes to fix them we are wallowing. Mistakes are teachers not traps.

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The Realistic Caregiver @caregiverqueen.bsky.social · 15h

As family #caregivers, we need time to rest & recharge.

Science has proven that play makes us healthier, higher-functioning adults, so use this time to do the things you normally wouldn’t do.

#Tip: Especially try things that others might consider frivolous or unacceptable to do at "your age!" 😄

The Realistic Caregiver @caregiverqueen.bsky.social · 1d

I'm so sorry. Losing a parent is always so hard, no matter how old we are. May his memory be a blessing.

The Realistic Caregiver @caregiverqueen.bsky.social · 1d

#Tip: Family #caregivers should try to schedule something fun to do each day. Even if it’s just a 2 minute dance party.

Being around illness all day, every day will just make you both stark-raving mad at some point.

Or worse, you’ll just become so depressed to the point of being paralyzed.

Reposted by The Realistic Caregiver

caregiverwarrior.bsky.social @caregiverwarrior.bsky.social · 2d

Weapon of the day: we don’t look like what we’ve been through. Especially caregivers. So speak up if you need something. Otherwise no one will know!

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The Realistic Caregiver @caregiverqueen.bsky.social · 2d

Life can be stressful enough during the best of times, right? And both caregiving and illness can suck all the light and joy out of your world if you let it.

#Tip: It might take some effort, but incorporating play and recess into you and your loved one’s life is crucial for your survival.

The Realistic Caregiver @caregiverqueen.bsky.social · 3d

Besides sports, gambling, (and possibly adultery?), most of us don’t play much as adults.

But there’s something very freeing when you’re dealing with severe illness – suddenly all the rules have changed.

#Tip: Why not use this time as an opportunity to learn how to have a little good, clean fun?

The Realistic Caregiver @caregiverqueen.bsky.social · 4d

Right? Diane has always been a constant, like the moon. How can the moon go away forever? It just feels impossible.

The Realistic Caregiver @caregiverqueen.bsky.social · 4d

I love this theory! It's a wonderful reminder on how to direct your grief in order to protect those who are hit hardest with the loss. Thank you for writing such a beautiful and compassionate article.

Heather Honold @heatherhonold.bsky.social · 4d

At a funeral once, I watched a widow comfort the person who came to comfort her.

That moment taught me more about boundaries and grief than any book ever could.

Comfort goes inward. Dump goes outward.

Read more ⬇️

The Sacred Geometry of Grief

How to show up for the grieving without crossing the sacred line between love and intrusion.

open.substack.com

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The Realistic Caregiver @caregiverqueen.bsky.social · 4d

“The opposite of play is not work. It’s depression.” Brian Sutton-Smith

#Tip: Something you can do with your loved one during their illness & recovery is find time to play.

When everyone is stressed, worried, or in pain, you need a break from it all.

Sometimes laughter IS the best medicine.

The Realistic Caregiver @caregiverqueen.bsky.social · 5d

Talking it out really helps keep the weight off my shoulders. Even if it's just talking to myself! Although talking with someone who really understands is much better.

Raven’s Call : Aging & End of Life guide in Oregon @endoflifecare.bsky.social · 5d

Family caregivers, are you feeling alone in the work you do?

Take a few minutes today to be heard. It can relieve some of the pressure you’re feeling.

From 11am to 1pm today, Pacific Time.

Denise Brown @caregiving.bsky.social · 5d

When it's a bad day, an overwhelming situation, a difficult time, you may wonder: Who would want to hear about this?

We do.

Tell us today: join.caringourway.com/posts/920255...

The Realistic Caregiver @caregiverqueen.bsky.social · 5d

The Caregiver's Golden Rule: You have to take care of yourself first, otherwise you’re no good to anyone else.

It's the most important rule, and therefore the easiest one to break.

therealisticcaregiver.substack.com/p/the-realis...

The Realistic Caregiver's Tips of the Week!

October 1 – 7, 2005 (All About The Golden Rule of Caregiving)

therealisticcaregiver.substack.com

The Realistic Caregiver @caregiverqueen.bsky.social · 5d

Managing chronic pain is a thankless, full-time job.

Fortunately, there's some new advances that give me hope!

therealisticcaregiver.substack.com/p/life-is-pa...

Life Is Painful Enough As It Is

Managing Chronic Pain Shouldn’t Hurt So Much

therealisticcaregiver.substack.com

The Realistic Caregiver @caregiverqueen.bsky.social · 5d

#Caregivers can really struggle with taking time for themselves when their loved one is sick.

#Tip: Remember that your loved one has several medical professionals looking after their well-being at any given moment.

Who do you have watching your back?

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The Realistic Caregiver @caregiverqueen.bsky.social · 5d

Thanks for the giggle! It reminds me of a contest on WKRP. "First prize? You don't have to die! Second prize? A pocket comb."

The Realistic Caregiver @caregiverqueen.bsky.social · 6d

Thank you so much for sharing this! Dignity in death for everyone is a beautiful life's work.

Raven’s Call : Aging & End of Life guide in Oregon @endoflifecare.bsky.social · 7d

End of Life Guides, Midwives, and EOL Doulas, here’s a great resource.

Neurodivergent folks are our clients, too.

Dr Emma Clare @dremmaclare.bsky.social · 8d

I’ve been writing about neurodivergence in end-of-life care and advance planning and hearing from people who want to do better but don’t know where to start.

This work means a lot to me. I’ve gathered it all in one place - my new site is live: www.deathwireddifferently.co.uk

#DeathWiredDifferently

The Realistic Caregiver @caregiverqueen.bsky.social · 6d

#Tip: For the best self-care, ask yourself, "What gives me joy?"

It doesn’t matter what it is. If it makes you happy, then commit to taking time away from #caregiving and just do it. Actively schedule it.

Find your own way to unplug that's separate from caregiving and everything it entails.

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The Realistic Caregiver @caregiverqueen.bsky.social · 7d

If you are a new family caregiver, it's vital to initiate a firm, detailed self-care program in place for yourself at the very beginning and stick to it.

#Tip: Going into #caregiving with the knowledge that you MUST actively care for yourself too can prevent so much stress and grief. For everyone.

The Realistic Caregiver @caregiverqueen.bsky.social · 8d

Burnt out family members break the Caregiver Golden Rule.

When your caregiving duties stretch out from weeks to months to years, a lot of us simply give up hope for our own futures.

When your worldview is bleak, finding little ways to care for yourself seems pointless.

#Tip: You still matter.

The Realistic Caregiver @caregiverqueen.bsky.social · 9d

Excellent advice! I'm going to try this, thank you!

dementiaaide.bsky.social @dementiaaide.bsky.social · 9d

When I was working 12 hour shifts in skilled nursing every so often I would take 30 seconds and go up on my tiptoes. It definitely works to relieve tired feet

tiptoes.it

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The Realistic Caregiver @caregiverqueen.bsky.social · 9d

The worst offenders of breaking the Caregiver Golden Rule are those of us caring for someone we adore.

When you love someone, #caregiving doesn't seem like "work."

But it still affects your mind, body & spirit, and it catches up to you fast.

#Tip: Even scheduling a 2 minute dance break helps.

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The Realistic Caregiver @caregiverqueen.bsky.social · 10d

The Golden Rule for #caregivers is this: You have to take care of yourself first, otherwise you’re no good to anyone else.

It’s called the Golden Rule because it’s the most important rule, but it’s also the easiest one to break.

#Tip: Sleeping, showering & eating regularly help tremendously!

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The Realistic Caregiver @caregiverqueen.bsky.social · 11d

Amen, sister.

The Realistic Caregiver @caregiverqueen.bsky.social · 11d

Thank you so much for sharing this. I had no idea. Alzheimer’s is such a horrible disease as it is; to add more stress to families is morally repugnant.

Queenslanders for End of Life Legal Options @q4eollo.fyi · 11d

An Australian perspective on Dementia 👇

💚🌏Myles🌏💚 @mylesjaybee.bsky.social · 13d

Dementia is now the leading cause of death in Australia, yet families are left waiting months or years for properly staffed residential care. The system recognises the disease as fatal, but still refuses to treat those living with it as a priority!
#auspol