Brian Allen
@brianallenmusician.bsky.social
Musician and human being -- St. Paul, MN
😆 Flav probably owns more analog clocks than almost anyone. This is gonna take him all day! Good luck @flavorflav.bsky.social 🕐🕜🕑
TIME to fall back and set yo clocks back one hour tonite,!!
a man wearing a green hat and a red hat is making a face
Alt: Flavor flav throws on some sunglasses
media.tenor.com
November 2, 2025 at 4:31 PM
😆 Flav probably owns more analog clocks than almost anyone. This is gonna take him all day! Good luck @flavorflav.bsky.social 🕐🕜🕑
Bad idea: @alyankovic.bsky.social should do a parody of his own song "Albuquerque" with new lyrics that describe the plot of Better Call Saul
#freeideas #badideas #weirdal
#freeideas #badideas #weirdal
October 31, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Bad idea: @alyankovic.bsky.social should do a parody of his own song "Albuquerque" with new lyrics that describe the plot of Better Call Saul
#freeideas #badideas #weirdal
#freeideas #badideas #weirdal
Sock it to me? Sock it to ME? Then who the else are you sockin' it to? Sock it to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who the **** do you think you're sockin' it to?
October 28, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Sock it to me? Sock it to ME? Then who the else are you sockin' it to? Sock it to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who the **** do you think you're sockin' it to?
F*** Ned Flanders -- marry Wilson from "Home Improvement" -- kill Steve Urkel
October 23, 2025 at 9:43 PM
F*** Ned Flanders -- marry Wilson from "Home Improvement" -- kill Steve Urkel
ME: What's the logo on your helmets?
CLEVELAND BROWNS: No logo, just a solid color.
ME:... brown??
CLEVELAND BROWNS: lol, you'd think so, but....
CLEVELAND BROWNS: No logo, just a solid color.
ME:... brown??
CLEVELAND BROWNS: lol, you'd think so, but....
October 5, 2025 at 3:35 PM
ME: What's the logo on your helmets?
CLEVELAND BROWNS: No logo, just a solid color.
ME:... brown??
CLEVELAND BROWNS: lol, you'd think so, but....
CLEVELAND BROWNS: No logo, just a solid color.
ME:... brown??
CLEVELAND BROWNS: lol, you'd think so, but....
#FreeIdeas The guys from Semisonic should have a line of apparel called "Clothing Time"
September 30, 2025 at 10:01 PM
#FreeIdeas The guys from Semisonic should have a line of apparel called "Clothing Time"
I'm mad at my brain because it set lyrics from "Rosa Parks" by Outkast to the tune of "For What It's Worth" by Buffalo Springfield.
September 30, 2025 at 10:01 PM
I'm mad at my brain because it set lyrics from "Rosa Parks" by Outkast to the tune of "For What It's Worth" by Buffalo Springfield.
I don't know, man, that emu seems less interested in helping people customize their car insurance, so they only pay for what they need, and more interested in causing trouble!!
September 28, 2025 at 8:36 PM
I don't know, man, that emu seems less interested in helping people customize their car insurance, so they only pay for what they need, and more interested in causing trouble!!
Good morning! I just invented the word "whicheither."
September 23, 2025 at 2:45 PM
Good morning! I just invented the word "whicheither."
Thinking about that time when America's hottest jam was a fun, gospel-influenced track called "Fuck You," which ended up being nominated for a few Grammy awards including Song of the Year. Good times.
September 18, 2025 at 10:09 PM
Thinking about that time when America's hottest jam was a fun, gospel-influenced track called "Fuck You," which ended up being nominated for a few Grammy awards including Song of the Year. Good times.
ADD A LETTER, RUIN A FOOD!
Tostitos: Hint of Slime
Shamburger
Tostitos: Hint of Slime
Shamburger
September 14, 2025 at 4:09 AM
ADD A LETTER, RUIN A FOOD!
Tostitos: Hint of Slime
Shamburger
Tostitos: Hint of Slime
Shamburger
JEERS: "Department of War"
CHEERS: Department of whatever is happening here 👇
CHEERS: Department of whatever is happening here 👇
Calvin Nelson (1944)
3232 2nd Ave. S (Nelson)
Source: Hennepin County Library
University of Minnesota Navy ROTC Student and University Band member, Nelson, prepares to pop a paper bag as part of a musical arrangement for percussion.
3232 2nd Ave. S (Nelson)
Source: Hennepin County Library
University of Minnesota Navy ROTC Student and University Band member, Nelson, prepares to pop a paper bag as part of a musical arrangement for percussion.
September 10, 2025 at 7:29 PM
JEERS: "Department of War"
CHEERS: Department of whatever is happening here 👇
CHEERS: Department of whatever is happening here 👇
September 10, 2025 at 7:25 PM
"Sorry, Jayden. You're not welcome."
"But you welcomed Aiden!"
"It says 'Welcome FreshMAN' -- we're allowed to welcome ONE."
"But you welcomed Aiden!"
"It says 'Welcome FreshMAN' -- we're allowed to welcome ONE."
September 3, 2025 at 2:33 PM
"Sorry, Jayden. You're not welcome."
"But you welcomed Aiden!"
"It says 'Welcome FreshMAN' -- we're allowed to welcome ONE."
"But you welcomed Aiden!"
"It says 'Welcome FreshMAN' -- we're allowed to welcome ONE."
Why does every actor who goes on @fallontonight.bsky.social have a clip that's just an action scene with no dialog and a lot of screen time for their stunt double?
August 30, 2025 at 4:24 AM
Why does every actor who goes on @fallontonight.bsky.social have a clip that's just an action scene with no dialog and a lot of screen time for their stunt double?
I have to confess:
In the early 2000's I was briefly fooled by the rocks that Jennifer Lopez got.
In the early 2000's I was briefly fooled by the rocks that Jennifer Lopez got.
August 29, 2025 at 12:49 PM
I have to confess:
In the early 2000's I was briefly fooled by the rocks that Jennifer Lopez got.
In the early 2000's I was briefly fooled by the rocks that Jennifer Lopez got.
Happy Friday to everyone except the driver on Dale St. who used the turn-only lane to pass three cars while they were all going straight through an intersection 😳
August 29, 2025 at 12:35 PM
Happy Friday to everyone except the driver on Dale St. who used the turn-only lane to pass three cars while they were all going straight through an intersection 😳
COWORKER: Hi, Brian, how was your summer?
ME: Good, how about you?
MY INTERNAL THOUGHTS: I don't think I've ever *seen* this person before, much less met her. No idea who this is.
ME: Good, how about you?
MY INTERNAL THOUGHTS: I don't think I've ever *seen* this person before, much less met her. No idea who this is.
August 26, 2025 at 5:03 PM
COWORKER: Hi, Brian, how was your summer?
ME: Good, how about you?
MY INTERNAL THOUGHTS: I don't think I've ever *seen* this person before, much less met her. No idea who this is.
ME: Good, how about you?
MY INTERNAL THOUGHTS: I don't think I've ever *seen* this person before, much less met her. No idea who this is.
A lunch fit for royalty:
The Earl of Sandwich
William of Orange
The Duke of Chips
James of Diet Coke
The Earl of Sandwich
William of Orange
The Duke of Chips
James of Diet Coke
August 18, 2025 at 8:16 PM
A lunch fit for royalty:
The Earl of Sandwich
William of Orange
The Duke of Chips
James of Diet Coke
The Earl of Sandwich
William of Orange
The Duke of Chips
James of Diet Coke
ADVERTISEMENT: We know, things are tough right now. Prices are SKYROCKETING. But there's good news: You can buy our product or service!
ME: Is the price of your product/ service skyrocketing as well??
AD: Uhhhh....
ME: Is the price of your product/ service skyrocketing as well??
AD: Uhhhh....
August 17, 2025 at 4:38 PM
ADVERTISEMENT: We know, things are tough right now. Prices are SKYROCKETING. But there's good news: You can buy our product or service!
ME: Is the price of your product/ service skyrocketing as well??
AD: Uhhhh....
ME: Is the price of your product/ service skyrocketing as well??
AD: Uhhhh....
Sometimes when a local cover band asks me about subbing I imagine that scene where Homer Simpson meets Daryl Strawberry
- You're Brian Allen
- Yes
- You play keyboard
- Yes
- Our regular guy plays keyboard too
- So?
- Well are you better than him?
- Well I never met him, but... Yes
- You're Brian Allen
- Yes
- You play keyboard
- Yes
- Our regular guy plays keyboard too
- So?
- Well are you better than him?
- Well I never met him, but... Yes
August 16, 2025 at 3:39 PM
Sometimes when a local cover band asks me about subbing I imagine that scene where Homer Simpson meets Daryl Strawberry
- You're Brian Allen
- Yes
- You play keyboard
- Yes
- Our regular guy plays keyboard too
- So?
- Well are you better than him?
- Well I never met him, but... Yes
- You're Brian Allen
- Yes
- You play keyboard
- Yes
- Our regular guy plays keyboard too
- So?
- Well are you better than him?
- Well I never met him, but... Yes
I was on the freeway and I drove under an overpass and it was labeled "Bridge St." And I thought: it's the Bridge St. bridge! The bridge is named after Bridge St., which is called Bridge St. because it has a bridge. Which bridge? The Bridge St. bridge.
August 16, 2025 at 5:43 AM
I was on the freeway and I drove under an overpass and it was labeled "Bridge St." And I thought: it's the Bridge St. bridge! The bridge is named after Bridge St., which is called Bridge St. because it has a bridge. Which bridge? The Bridge St. bridge.
Taking about "weekends at the cabin" as if they're something everybody does is Minnesota's version of a classist microaggression
August 14, 2025 at 10:21 PM
Taking about "weekends at the cabin" as if they're something everybody does is Minnesota's version of a classist microaggression
Guards from The Wizard of Oz: Oh-WEEEE-oh
Weezer: I look just like Buddy Holly
Guards: Wee-OOOHHHHH-oh
Weezer: And you're Mary Tyler Moore
Weezer: I look just like Buddy Holly
Guards: Wee-OOOHHHHH-oh
Weezer: And you're Mary Tyler Moore
August 13, 2025 at 12:19 PM
Guards from The Wizard of Oz: Oh-WEEEE-oh
Weezer: I look just like Buddy Holly
Guards: Wee-OOOHHHHH-oh
Weezer: And you're Mary Tyler Moore
Weezer: I look just like Buddy Holly
Guards: Wee-OOOHHHHH-oh
Weezer: And you're Mary Tyler Moore
Past the halfway point here at #Simpsons Trivia at @badweatherbrew.bsky.social and I'm happy to report "Joey Jojo Junior Shabadoo" has a commanding lead!
@triviamafia.com
@triviamafia.com
August 8, 2025 at 1:12 AM
Past the halfway point here at #Simpsons Trivia at @badweatherbrew.bsky.social and I'm happy to report "Joey Jojo Junior Shabadoo" has a commanding lead!
@triviamafia.com
@triviamafia.com