The Borowitz Report
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Greenland Suggests Trump Acquire Epstein’s Island Instead
Greenland Suggests Trump Acquire Epstein’s Island Instead
www.borowitzreport.com
January 15, 2026 at 3:50 PM
Greenland Suggests Trump Acquire Epstein’s Island Instead
New Study Links Botox to Pathological Lying
New Study Links Botox to Pathological Lying
www.borowitzreport.com
January 14, 2026 at 12:50 PM
New Study Links Botox to Pathological Lying
Did George W. Bush Really Say That? • It seemed legit.
Did George W. Bush Really Say That?
It seemed legit.
www.borowitzreport.com
January 13, 2026 at 12:50 PM
Did George W. Bush Really Say That? • It seemed legit.
Envoy From Greenland Offers to Meet Stephen Miller
Envoy From Greenland Offers to Meet Stephen Miller
www.borowitzreport.com
January 12, 2026 at 12:50 PM
Envoy From Greenland Offers to Meet Stephen Miller
Little Marco's Big Lie • TBR Sunday Read
Little Marco's Big Lie
TBR Sunday Read
www.borowitzreport.com
January 11, 2026 at 12:50 PM
Little Marco's Big Lie • TBR Sunday Read
King Restores British Rule over U.S.
King Restores British Rule over U.S.
www.borowitzreport.com
January 9, 2026 at 12:50 PM
King Restores British Rule over U.S.
The Borowitz Report Turns 25 • A quarter century of making up the news.
The Borowitz Report Turns 25
A quarter century of making up the news.
www.borowitzreport.com
January 4, 2026 at 3:50 PM
The Borowitz Report Turns 25 • A quarter century of making up the news.
How to Survive 2026 • Try this. It works.
How to Survive 2026
Try this. It works.
www.borowitzreport.com
January 2, 2026 at 6:50 PM
How to Survive 2026 • Try this. It works.
Trump Cuts Ticket Prices at Kennedy Center 5000%
Trump Cuts Ticket Prices at Kennedy Center 5000%
www.borowitzreport.com
January 1, 2026 at 12:50 PM
Trump Cuts Ticket Prices at Kennedy Center 5000%
He Kept Me Sane This Year • And that wasn’t easy.
He Kept Me Sane This Year
And that wasn’t easy.
www.borowitzreport.com
December 30, 2025 at 3:49 PM
He Kept Me Sane This Year • And that wasn’t easy.
Places Trump Wants to Attack in 2026 • TBR Sunday Read
Places Trump Wants to Attack in 2026
TBR Sunday Read
www.borowitzreport.com
December 28, 2025 at 12:49 PM
Places Trump Wants to Attack in 2026 • TBR Sunday Read
The Best Political Cartoons of 2025 • From a two-time Pulitzer winner.
The Best Political Cartoons of 2025
From a two-time Pulitzer winner.
www.borowitzreport.com
December 23, 2025 at 12:51 PM
The Best Political Cartoons of 2025 • From a two-time Pulitzer winner.
The Best Thing That Happened in 2025 • A genuine cause for celebration.
The Best Thing That Happened in 2025
A genuine cause for celebration.
www.borowitzreport.com
December 22, 2025 at 12:50 PM
The Best Thing That Happened in 2025 • A genuine cause for celebration.
A Bucket List for Trump • TBR Sunday Read
A Bucket List for Trump
TBR Sunday Read
www.borowitzreport.com
December 21, 2025 at 6:50 AM
A Bucket List for Trump • TBR Sunday Read
Will Trump Survive 2026? • The Andy Borowitz Show
Will Trump Survive 2026?
The Andy Borowitz Show
www.borowitzreport.com
December 19, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Will Trump Survive 2026? • The Andy Borowitz Show
A Holiday Gift from Me to You! • Happy Holidays from TBR
A Holiday Gift from Me to You!
Happy Holidays from TBR
www.borowitzreport.com
December 18, 2025 at 12:50 PM
A Holiday Gift from Me to You! • Happy Holidays from TBR
Biden Eagerly Anticipating Jake Tapper’s Book About Trump’s Mental Decline
Biden Eagerly Anticipating Jake Tapper’s Book About Trump’s Mental Decline
www.borowitzreport.com
December 17, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Biden Eagerly Anticipating Jake Tapper’s Book About Trump’s Mental Decline
The Hero We Need Now • How a tiny 75-year-old woman stood up to Kristi Noem’s goons.
The Hero We Need Now
How a tiny 75-year-old woman stood up to Kristi Noem’s goons.
www.borowitzreport.com
December 16, 2025 at 12:51 PM
The Hero We Need Now • How a tiny 75-year-old woman stood up to Kristi Noem’s goons.
Republicans Finally Unveil Healthcare Plan: ‘Americans Must Move to Canada’
Republicans Finally Unveil Healthcare Plan: ‘Americans Must Move to Canada’
www.borowitzreport.com
December 15, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Republicans Finally Unveil Healthcare Plan: ‘Americans Must Move to Canada’
The Private Haikus of Pete Hegseth • TBR Sunday Read
The Private Haikus of Pete Hegseth
TBR Sunday Read
www.borowitzreport.com
December 14, 2025 at 6:49 AM
The Private Haikus of Pete Hegseth • TBR Sunday Read
Hegseth Seizes Scottish Tanker Carrying Whiskey
Hegseth Seizes Scottish Tanker Carrying Whiskey
www.borowitzreport.com
December 12, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Hegseth Seizes Scottish Tanker Carrying Whiskey
Trump Enraged After Gold Paint Peels off FIFA Peace Prize
Trump Enraged After Gold Paint Peels off FIFA Peace Prize
www.borowitzreport.com
December 11, 2025 at 3:50 PM
Trump Enraged After Gold Paint Peels off FIFA Peace Prize
Immigrants Say They Have Been Scared Away From US by Kristi Noem’s Face
Immigrants Say They Have Been Scared Away From US by Kristi Noem’s Face
www.borowitzreport.com
December 10, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Immigrants Say They Have Been Scared Away From US by Kristi Noem’s Face
Profile in Awfulness: Tom Cotton
Profile in Awfulness: Tom Cotton
www.borowitzreport.com
December 9, 2025 at 3:50 PM
Profile in Awfulness: Tom Cotton