Boredwalk
@boredwalk.com
“Refreshingly relatable” according to an Instagram comment. Creator of amusing gifts + novelties at boredwalk.com
I love that cats were like “who wants to live with an anxious chatty little teddy bear with sharp claws?” and people took them up on it.
December 2, 2025 at 4:06 AM
I love that cats were like “who wants to live with an anxious chatty little teddy bear with sharp claws?” and people took them up on it.
“Being miserable is a choice” is my favorite tip from people who are delusional.
I like how they’ve both chosen happiness and being a smug prick at the same time.
I like how they’ve both chosen happiness and being a smug prick at the same time.
December 1, 2025 at 2:29 AM
“Being miserable is a choice” is my favorite tip from people who are delusional.
I like how they’ve both chosen happiness and being a smug prick at the same time.
I like how they’ve both chosen happiness and being a smug prick at the same time.
Next time you see some influencer bragging about how many mortals they’ve enthralled or how big their army of undead henchmen is, just remember not everything you read on the internet is true. You’re doing great. Satan loves you.
September 23, 2025 at 3:10 PM
Next time you see some influencer bragging about how many mortals they’ve enthralled or how big their army of undead henchmen is, just remember not everything you read on the internet is true. You’re doing great. Satan loves you.
Yeah, I got plans later — gonna hit the club (sandwich), have some drinks (herbal tea), and end up in bed with a cutie (my cat).
September 21, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Yeah, I got plans later — gonna hit the club (sandwich), have some drinks (herbal tea), and end up in bed with a cutie (my cat).
It’s always inherited trauma and never inherited Gothic castle in the Transylvanian mountains.
September 20, 2025 at 8:49 PM
It’s always inherited trauma and never inherited Gothic castle in the Transylvanian mountains.
Time to feed my cat
- mundane
- harmless
- sounds like a chore
Time to bring my familiar an offering
- mystical
- ominous
- sounds like an unholy alliance
- mundane
- harmless
- sounds like a chore
Time to bring my familiar an offering
- mystical
- ominous
- sounds like an unholy alliance
September 20, 2025 at 4:47 PM
Time to feed my cat
- mundane
- harmless
- sounds like a chore
Time to bring my familiar an offering
- mystical
- ominous
- sounds like an unholy alliance
- mundane
- harmless
- sounds like a chore
Time to bring my familiar an offering
- mystical
- ominous
- sounds like an unholy alliance
Him: you’d be so much prettier if you smiled
Medusa: you’d be so much less annoying as a statue
Medusa: you’d be so much less annoying as a statue
September 17, 2025 at 4:07 AM
Him: you’d be so much prettier if you smiled
Medusa: you’d be so much less annoying as a statue
Medusa: you’d be so much less annoying as a statue
Stop telling me I look young for my age, it’s not a compliment. Tell me I look terrifying for my age!
September 14, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Stop telling me I look young for my age, it’s not a compliment. Tell me I look terrifying for my age!
Girls don’t want a knight in shining armor. We want an enchanted sword that slices through the fabric of time and space at will and a fire-breathing dragon we can ride into battle.
September 13, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Girls don’t want a knight in shining armor. We want an enchanted sword that slices through the fabric of time and space at will and a fire-breathing dragon we can ride into battle.
I refuse to age gracefully, I am going to age like one of those fairytale witches, only growing more powerful and notorious each year.
September 12, 2025 at 2:21 AM
I refuse to age gracefully, I am going to age like one of those fairytale witches, only growing more powerful and notorious each year.
Stop saying “if you’re not happy single, you won’t be happy in a forest as an ominous supernatural presence.” There is only one thing that will make me happy and it’s haunting the woods!
September 10, 2025 at 3:58 AM
Stop saying “if you’re not happy single, you won’t be happy in a forest as an ominous supernatural presence.” There is only one thing that will make me happy and it’s haunting the woods!
That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, trying to figure out what the unexpected item is in the bagging area.
September 9, 2025 at 4:06 PM
That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, trying to figure out what the unexpected item is in the bagging area.
Him: nice ass, it would look better in my lap
Me: nice teeth, they’d look better in a box under my bed
Me: nice teeth, they’d look better in a box under my bed
September 8, 2025 at 3:42 PM
Him: nice ass, it would look better in my lap
Me: nice teeth, they’d look better in a box under my bed
Me: nice teeth, they’d look better in a box under my bed
Raising kids:
- requires a lot of money
- takes 18 years
- exhausting
Raising a demigod from the netherworld:
- requires an occult ritual
- takes 18 minutes (give or take, depends on how up on ancient Sumerian you are)
- thrilling
- requires a lot of money
- takes 18 years
- exhausting
Raising a demigod from the netherworld:
- requires an occult ritual
- takes 18 minutes (give or take, depends on how up on ancient Sumerian you are)
- thrilling
September 8, 2025 at 12:03 AM
Raising kids:
- requires a lot of money
- takes 18 years
- exhausting
Raising a demigod from the netherworld:
- requires an occult ritual
- takes 18 minutes (give or take, depends on how up on ancient Sumerian you are)
- thrilling
- requires a lot of money
- takes 18 years
- exhausting
Raising a demigod from the netherworld:
- requires an occult ritual
- takes 18 minutes (give or take, depends on how up on ancient Sumerian you are)
- thrilling
I have an inner gremlin who wants to scream and smash things, but instead I have to just go about my stupid day attending to my responsibilities.
September 6, 2025 at 3:59 PM
I have an inner gremlin who wants to scream and smash things, but instead I have to just go about my stupid day attending to my responsibilities.
Do I battle my own demons?
No.
Do I have a peaceable agreement with my demons wherein they agree to mostly be chill publicly if I let ‘em rage privately?
100%
No.
Do I have a peaceable agreement with my demons wherein they agree to mostly be chill publicly if I let ‘em rage privately?
100%
September 2, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Do I battle my own demons?
No.
Do I have a peaceable agreement with my demons wherein they agree to mostly be chill publicly if I let ‘em rage privately?
100%
No.
Do I have a peaceable agreement with my demons wherein they agree to mostly be chill publicly if I let ‘em rage privately?
100%
All bodies are good bodies. Take pride in your scales and razor-sharp claws. Your dozens of pulsing eyes, blacker than the void itself, are lovely. Don’t be ashamed of your enormous tentacles, moist and writhing as you grope for a billionaire’s yacht. To me you are perfect.
August 26, 2025 at 11:36 PM
All bodies are good bodies. Take pride in your scales and razor-sharp claws. Your dozens of pulsing eyes, blacker than the void itself, are lovely. Don’t be ashamed of your enormous tentacles, moist and writhing as you grope for a billionaire’s yacht. To me you are perfect.
Ways my cat is like a vampire:
- sharp pointy fangs
- looks handsome and youthful despite being very old
- sleeps all day
- must feed on the innocent in order to live
- sharp pointy fangs
- looks handsome and youthful despite being very old
- sleeps all day
- must feed on the innocent in order to live
August 18, 2025 at 11:40 PM
Ways my cat is like a vampire:
- sharp pointy fangs
- looks handsome and youthful despite being very old
- sleeps all day
- must feed on the innocent in order to live
- sharp pointy fangs
- looks handsome and youthful despite being very old
- sleeps all day
- must feed on the innocent in order to live
Trying to change him:
- time consuming
- high effort for low reward
- adheres to traditional gender roles
Changing him to stone with a terrifying glare:
- immediately satisfying
- low effort for high reward
- adheres to traditional witch lore
- time consuming
- high effort for low reward
- adheres to traditional gender roles
Changing him to stone with a terrifying glare:
- immediately satisfying
- low effort for high reward
- adheres to traditional witch lore
August 17, 2025 at 4:44 AM
Trying to change him:
- time consuming
- high effort for low reward
- adheres to traditional gender roles
Changing him to stone with a terrifying glare:
- immediately satisfying
- low effort for high reward
- adheres to traditional witch lore
- time consuming
- high effort for low reward
- adheres to traditional gender roles
Changing him to stone with a terrifying glare:
- immediately satisfying
- low effort for high reward
- adheres to traditional witch lore
My plans: clean house, run errands, cook
My day: depression nap, doom scrolling, and “just one more episode” of a show I’ve already seen
My day: depression nap, doom scrolling, and “just one more episode” of a show I’ve already seen
August 16, 2025 at 8:51 PM
My plans: clean house, run errands, cook
My day: depression nap, doom scrolling, and “just one more episode” of a show I’ve already seen
My day: depression nap, doom scrolling, and “just one more episode” of a show I’ve already seen
Demon who possesses me:
What’s that weird uncomfortable feeling?
Me:
Oh you mean that ever-present sense of doom?
Demon:
Yeah, wtf?
Me:
That’s been there, bruh, shoulda looked before you leaped.
What’s that weird uncomfortable feeling?
Me:
Oh you mean that ever-present sense of doom?
Demon:
Yeah, wtf?
Me:
That’s been there, bruh, shoulda looked before you leaped.
August 15, 2025 at 2:50 AM
Demon who possesses me:
What’s that weird uncomfortable feeling?
Me:
Oh you mean that ever-present sense of doom?
Demon:
Yeah, wtf?
Me:
That’s been there, bruh, shoulda looked before you leaped.
What’s that weird uncomfortable feeling?
Me:
Oh you mean that ever-present sense of doom?
Demon:
Yeah, wtf?
Me:
That’s been there, bruh, shoulda looked before you leaped.
There is no rule that says you can’t be a captivating forest pixie and an intimidating ancient hell goddess.
Hecate had three forms.
You needn’t commit to just one.
Hecate had three forms.
You needn’t commit to just one.
August 10, 2025 at 4:26 PM
There is no rule that says you can’t be a captivating forest pixie and an intimidating ancient hell goddess.
Hecate had three forms.
You needn’t commit to just one.
Hecate had three forms.
You needn’t commit to just one.
Practice self care like a Venus Fly Trap.
Stay hydrated and destroy whatever pest invades your personal space.
Stay hydrated and destroy whatever pest invades your personal space.
August 9, 2025 at 3:30 PM
Practice self care like a Venus Fly Trap.
Stay hydrated and destroy whatever pest invades your personal space.
Stay hydrated and destroy whatever pest invades your personal space.
The early bird might get the worm, but the night goddess gets a black cloak made of stars and a flying chariot pulled by dark horses.
August 9, 2025 at 1:18 AM
The early bird might get the worm, but the night goddess gets a black cloak made of stars and a flying chariot pulled by dark horses.
It’s okay to take a break. It’s okay if you need to rest.
Cthulhu has been in a death-like slumber for eons and he’s still a legendary cosmic horror.
Take that nap if you need it — your cult can wait!
Cthulhu has been in a death-like slumber for eons and he’s still a legendary cosmic horror.
Take that nap if you need it — your cult can wait!
August 4, 2025 at 3:50 PM
It’s okay to take a break. It’s okay if you need to rest.
Cthulhu has been in a death-like slumber for eons and he’s still a legendary cosmic horror.
Take that nap if you need it — your cult can wait!
Cthulhu has been in a death-like slumber for eons and he’s still a legendary cosmic horror.
Take that nap if you need it — your cult can wait!