Author | Lightnews

𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky

@borderlinebby.bsky.social

240 followers 150 following 2.7K posts

25. they/them. feminist. dx autism, adhd, bpd, c-ptsd. addict. 18+ content. minors dni! TW on ALL content. pro harm reduction & recovery i follow back 18+ ed/mh accounts!

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𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · Sep 6

EDs as unstable as my life. sort of recovering. sort of relapsing.
lw: 76lbs/34kg hw: 172lbs/78kg
18+ content, minors dni !!
trigger warning on everything:
mentions of ED, addiction, sh, trauma/cptsd, bpd, autism & adhd.
edtwt 14yrs veteran - crvckwhvre, codeinebvby & bpdmemoirs.
threads below👇🏼

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Reposted by 𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky

Nny🔪 ARFID era @homicidalkgs.bsky.social · 1d

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𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · 1d

i have 5g and it looks so sexy but i cant consume it all bc we really need to sell some bc we both have no money i can’t ever asm my parents as then theh’d learn S
about the cokd

𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · 1d

my bf just said i have a surprise for you and i’m sat there waiting for my 1 gram when he throws 5 gram at me. apparently the other guy was feeling generous and said pay back only €40??? next week or something. but LOOK AT THAT SWEET BABY SO PRECIOUS

𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · 1d

every time i get money or just before i have all the goals and ideas and dreams. i make plans on what i’m going to spend it on. can’t forget the amount to go in savings.
i get money. we buy cocaine. the cycle from. i have to buy a gra
from some random homieshas drop the 5g until tomorrow

𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · 1d

i feel like i could live a thousand lifetimes and i’d still never deserve my partner

𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · 9d

ily for this. i wish my dad thought the same

𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · 9d

when the body is TEA
(her name is aaliyah shes part of my forever safe fille)

𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · 10d

my dad will genuinely disown me i’m so stupkd

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𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · 10d

before i moved my dad said it was him or my DOC. i said i chose him over the drugs and i stayed sober. obviously i relapsed recently. i did fucking ❄️ in his house bc i moved back in and my god i hate myself

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𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · 10d

my sister is 7 years older than me. it started as early as i can remember. physical, emotional, psychological, non contact sexual. she moved out when i was 11 & moved back in when i was 14. by then i was stronger & could easily beat her ass so the abuse was more subtle, lots of mental, emotional etc

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Reposted by 𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky

L💚 @dietcokez.bsky.social · 11d

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𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · 10d

abuser sisters unite 🤝🏻

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𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · 11d

i really am. i’ve fucked up bad.

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𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · 13d

im really bad person i want to cry bc im so bad. im disgusting, disrespectful & i don’t deserve parents that actually love and care about me i’m fucked in the head literally so evil and i don’t understand why people even interact w me bc i find it hard to mask so they see my disgusting behaviour

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𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · 13d

she might have bipolar too but they didn’t portray in the show imo. borderpolar is surprisingly common, like instead of euphoric episode i had a manic episode i felt
amazing at the time (which is odd bc no sleep or food) but afterwards i found all my savings were gone (4k) & i was hooked on coke???

𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · 13d

its probably just they didn’t do enough research but they accidentally gave rue bpd. the impulsivity, the favourite person, splitting, the ‘mania’ only lasting one day, the need to use substances to escape our regular brain and thoughts, putting ourselves in dangerous situations, not giving a fuck..

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𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · 13d

the character i relate to the most is rue from euphoria. i’m 100% sure she has bpd. yes i’m aware that the dr told her as a kid possibly bipolar but its too soon to tell. the dr would NEVER bring up personality disorders tp someone that young. the only exception i ca this of is severe cases of ASPD

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𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · 13d

feel disgustingly fat and ugly i can’t even get my nf hard i feel humiliated whenever j initiated sex and bf says after or later

𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · 13d

we’re going to a new supermarket and im v anxious and my mum said i could stay in the car and i just said “i’ve literally smoked crack if i can’t handle going in a different supermarket i need to grow a pair” lmaooo

𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · 16d

if my grandad bas an issue he can fell me. it was my mum

𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · 16d

essentially me being too much would hurt hits brain. yes it did feel awful . i just sobbed until i took some pills

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𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · 17d

like oh i can come out my bedroom now bc my grandfather has left. no. fuck y’all. i’ll continue being pissed off in my room, thank you.

𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · 17d

are u fr my dad just came in my room to check if i was ok & i told him what my mum did & how my nan wouldn’t stand for it if she was here & he was like you know what your mums like (while making jokes) he said i could come out BUT then as he walks out i hear “bye [grandads name]!”

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𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · 17d

anyway i popped pregablin even though they all hate me taking that but they can all get fucked & enjoy each others company while i sob quietly and wish i was never born. i mean i’m “too much” to even sit in the same room as my grandfather. i hate myself. i was borderline euphoric now i feel broken

𝕝𝕛 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ | edsky @borderlinebby.bsky.social · 17d

they went darts and brought 2 friends back. everything was fine. my grandad started to arrive & my mum literally sent me to my room bc i “cabbage” his head. my bf is sat in the living room. everyone hanging out, im alone. i told my mum if nan was alive she would never allow that & to fuck off.

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