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Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 15h

Toast of the Day:

Fair thought and happy hours attend on you.
- 'The Merchant of Venice,' Act III (from a collection of Shakespearean toasts). #Toasts

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Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 15h

How did Quasimodo know which bells to ring at Notre Dame? He didn't, he just had a hunch. #PUNishMint

Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 1d

Toast of the Day:

May our lives, like the leaves of the maple,
Grow more beautiful as they fade.
May we say our farewells, when it's time for us to go,
All smiling and unafraid.
-Larry E. Johnson (from a collection of toasts on the subject of Age). #Toasts

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Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 1d

I’ve cut a few trees down in my day, but I’m not sure how many. Maybe I should’ve kept a log. #PUNishMint

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Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 2d

I used to run a donut shop, but I got tired of the hole business. #PUNishMint

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Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 2d

Toast of the Day:

Here's to the health of those we love best -
Our noble selves - God bless us;
None better and many a damn sight worse.
Drink today, and drown all sorrow;
You shall, perhaps, not do it to-morrow.
- Beaumont and Fletcher (on the subject of Self/Selves). #Toasts

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Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 3d

I thought I was alone in the bath last night, so I screamed when I felt a tap on my shoulder! #PUNishMint

Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 4d

Toast of the Day:

Here's to good-byes - that they never be spoken!
Here's to friendships - may they never be broken!
- (from a collection of toasts on the subject of Parting). #Toasts

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Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 4d

I’m a terrible cook and I’m especially bad at making gravy. I’d like to thank my family for sticking with me through thick and thin. #PUNishMint

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Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 5d

Toast of the Day:

To Life. The first half is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
- (from a collection of toasts on the subject of Parents). #Toasts

Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 5d

Be careful. There's a new medication-resistant strain of lice going around that has scientists scratching their heads. #PUNishMint

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Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 6d

Toast of the Day:

When turkey's on the table laid,
And good things I may scan,
I'm thankful that I wasn't made
A vegetarian.
- Edgar A. Guest (from a collection of toasts on the subject of Thanksgiving). #Toasts

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Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 6d

My favourite allergy song is “Blowin’ in the Wind” by Peter, Pollen, Mary. #PUNishMint

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Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 7d

Toast of the Day:

Then welcome, stranger, cheer be thine.
If thou art a friend, of a friend of mine,
Here's luck...
- James Munroe McLean, 'The Book of Wine.' (from a collection of toasts on the subject of Luck). #Toasts

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Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 7d

Scientists have found what they believe to be the worlds largest bed sheet. I’ll bring you more on this as it unfolds. #PUNishMint

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Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 8d

Toast of the Day:

Let's drink to love,
Which is nothing -
Unless it's divided by two.
- (from a collection of toasts on the subject of Love). #Toasts

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Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 8d

A fly landed on my bread plate and began telling jokes.
I wanted to stop him but he was on a roll. #PUNishMint

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Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 9d

Toast of the Day:

Here's to Dan Cupid, the little squirt,
He's lost his pants, he's lost his shirt,
He's lost most everything but his aim,
Which shows that love is a losing game.
- (from a collection of toasts on the subject of Love). #Toasts

Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 9d

If there was an earthquake on the border of Canada and the US, whose fault would it be? #PUNishMint

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Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 10d

Toast of the Day:

A small glass and thirsty!
Be sure never ask it:
Man might as well serve up
His soup in a basket.
- Leigh Hunt (from a collection of toasts on the subject of Libations). #Toasts

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Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 10d

I just finished my training at the sponge factory. It was a lot to absorb. #PUNishMint

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Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 11d

Toast of the Day:

Wert thou all that I wish thee,
Great, glorious and free,
First flower of the earth,
And first gem of the sea.
- Tom Moore (from a collection of Irish toasts). #Toasts

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Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 11d

I used to run a dating agency for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet. #PUNishMint

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Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 12d

Toast of the Day:

Mexican: Salud.
Philippine: Mabuhay.
Swedish: Skal.
Zulu: Oogy wawa.
- (from a collection of International toasts). #Toasts

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Bernard @bjcormier.bsky.social · 12d

Not all construction work is equally enjoyable. For instance enlarging a drilled hole is boring and fastening pieces of metal together is riveting. #PUNishMint

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