Also? HORRIBLE time to have “governments after me” disorder, because they are but this time it’s not in my head. lol. What a shit show. I can’t really get much help right now, basically all the mental health care here (that I can access) is shut down. So, I’m kinda on my own. Wish me luck 😔

Oh, one more thing: I really didn’t draw much at all for 3 months. more?? might be the longest I’ve ever gone not drawing. And reasonably, my brain isn’t working that great atm so I’m trying to get in the swing of things a little. I don’t want paid work to be the test subject.

tried to get back to it last month but kinda saw another dip in my overall sanity. Sorry to update like this, and not directly, if it were anything short of: psychotic episode mid christofascist takeover while I’m trans in an ultra-red state I would handle this better. Gotta get sane and safe first!

universal com update: got a schizo diagnosis, have to keep essentially refusing to interact with technology for a little longer, it’s making me too paranoid, it’s dangerous.
overall things are getting better, started drawing again, when I shake the rust off I’ll be back. 1 more in thread👇

Once again, there is an ACLU petition specifically made to stop Mastercard from unlawfully policing adult content. It’s getting pretty grim for us out there. Please sign and/or spread the word.
action.aclu.org/petition/mas...

Some messy doodles, trying to shake the rust off before I dive into commission.

A lot of the hiatus was due to my dr trying me on several meds that either made things immediately worse or didn’t work and going on then coming off of them really destroyed my brain for a sec. I think without that complication and the break I gave myself I am actually ok the upswing. 🤞🤞🤞

Most the commissions I took have progress, all but 2 have an approved first sketch, I’ll be getting them all to the final approval stage and contacting everyone individually then. I’m glad that before I lost it I did actually make good progress. So things could be worse. Pain in the ass tho!

I’m gonna work on individual replies as needed, but I thought I should make everyone aware of my situation in some capacity.
Thanks for the understanding in advance, hope to stay on the mend and get back to normal asap 😔

Step at a time. I’m trying to work through my to do list best I can. I don’t want to blow the progress I’ve made but I don’t intend to extend the wait much longer. I don’t like to feel behind or that I’m letting people down, and a stable income would help me overall.

Wasn’t useful, in the moment or long term. I had to make the decision to limit my stress as much as I was able while seeking what little care is available in my state for someone of my economic position (dirt broke lol)
I do feel more capable now, but I’m basically reduced to taking everything one-

I just don’t want anyone to feel like they to the art they paid for isn’t important or that I’m ignoring contact. I hate to get into it but I’ve struggled really hard to communicate while dealing with psychotic symptoms and spending multiple hours to formulate replies while genuinely incapacitated-

There’s a lot outside my control that limits the actions I can take to ensure an improvement to my own health, but I am doing my best. I am sorry there’s been a delay and lapse in communication but I have to live long enough to ask for forgiveness, you know? So navigating this takes priority.

I’ve had mental health issues my entire adult life, and to an extent I understood the last year represented a significant shift in how the symptoms disable me in all aspects of life. I didn’t anticipate the many life stressors that would rapidly exacerbate things. I’m trying to navigate a lot rn.

I have made at least some progress on every commission, enough so on most that I should have them all done very quickly once I start up again. I intend to do this tonight but wanted to say something on here about it. Sorry to anyone who’s been waiting, this was unexpected.

Sorry for lack of progress on commissions and contact generally. I’ve been struggling with what I’d summarize as a nervous breakdown that lead into a total psychotic episode. I had to step back and handle my health before anything else. Tentatively, I am feeling more stable.

another y2k bimbo doodle

i live.. here's something recent ive done

Nalle posing

his name is quarter pounder

cute dragon mommy i painted~

Messy doodles before i 🫩😴

Ahh!! Yes yes yes, the outfit euphoria in this one from @emmbunn.bsky.social STILL makes me so happy, I want those overalls and hoodie SO BAD, they did such a wonderful job and made me look so cool and cute!! :D

The delphinium in my hair looks like SO nice in this one too!! <3 #furryart

wyrmify commission for @toolow.bsky.social 🦎🐛
(2023)