Big Fat Bartolo's Colon
@bigfatbartolocolon.bsky.social
Not really Bartolo Colon
as CEO of United Coffins, I think you're insane if you don't incorporate coffins into literally everything you do
November 27, 2025 at 1:01 AM
as CEO of United Coffins, I think you're insane if you don't incorporate coffins into literally everything you do
Reposted by Big Fat Bartolo's Colon
Reposted by Big Fat Bartolo's Colon
Millenials remain undefeated, except by the job market and mortgage rates
November 25, 2025 at 2:47 PM
Millenials remain undefeated, except by the job market and mortgage rates
please enjoy this video without feeling the need to explain whose fault it is that this didn't happen in the USA. we are celebrating Brazil right now
Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷
November 26, 2025 at 4:06 PM
please enjoy this video without feeling the need to explain whose fault it is that this didn't happen in the USA. we are celebrating Brazil right now
Reposted by Big Fat Bartolo's Colon
I hear those things are awfully fake.
I promise I'm not on the take!
Is there a chance I'd shoot my head?
Not on your life, my lonesome friend!
What about perverted guys?
The porno will be customized!
I promise I'm not on the take!
Is there a chance I'd shoot my head?
Not on your life, my lonesome friend!
What about perverted guys?
The porno will be customized!
November 23, 2025 at 10:26 PM
I hear those things are awfully fake.
I promise I'm not on the take!
Is there a chance I'd shoot my head?
Not on your life, my lonesome friend!
What about perverted guys?
The porno will be customized!
I promise I'm not on the take!
Is there a chance I'd shoot my head?
Not on your life, my lonesome friend!
What about perverted guys?
The porno will be customized!
Reposted by Big Fat Bartolo's Colon
I gave my mom what I thought was a soup-themed bath bomb some years back, but it was actually soup. She had to call my dad in to get her out of the greasy tub.
November 25, 2025 at 4:42 PM
I gave my mom what I thought was a soup-themed bath bomb some years back, but it was actually soup. She had to call my dad in to get her out of the greasy tub.
the vast majority of Americans are on Epstein's island with an ar-15
"elevate charismatic figures such as Alan Dershowitz"
-____________-
-____________-
November 25, 2025 at 4:51 AM
the vast majority of Americans are on Epstein's island with an ar-15
Dude, where's my car, Charlie Brown?
This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass, Charlie Brown
Nobody trusts anyone anymore, Charlie Brown
November 24, 2025 at 3:49 AM
Dude, where's my car, Charlie Brown?
Reposted by Big Fat Bartolo's Colon
I don't know why my brain works* this way
*"works"
*"works"
November 23, 2025 at 4:39 PM
I don't know why my brain works* this way
*"works"
*"works"
the woke mob doesn't want to admit this is what peak performance looks like
November 22, 2025 at 3:59 AM
the woke mob doesn't want to admit this is what peak performance looks like
Reposted by Big Fat Bartolo's Colon
“"I was never one who looked at success as bad. For me, success was always good. I loved it, and still do." — Zohran Mamdani
November 21, 2025 at 10:40 PM
“"I was never one who looked at success as bad. For me, success was always good. I loved it, and still do." — Zohran Mamdani
Reposted by Big Fat Bartolo's Colon
Spotify is helping ICE recruit more agents to infringe our rights and terrorize our communities. Stop paying for or using the app until Spotify stops running ads for ICE: indivisible.org/cancel-spotify?source=bluesky
November 21, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Spotify is helping ICE recruit more agents to infringe our rights and terrorize our communities. Stop paying for or using the app until Spotify stops running ads for ICE: indivisible.org/cancel-spotify?source=bluesky
Reposted by Big Fat Bartolo's Colon
A lot of people suddenly horrified by the normalization of nazi symbols after backing Oysterman Totenkopf's bid for senate
November 21, 2025 at 12:45 AM
A lot of people suddenly horrified by the normalization of nazi symbols after backing Oysterman Totenkopf's bid for senate
Reposted by Big Fat Bartolo's Colon
Checking in on MechaHitler
November 20, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Checking in on MechaHitler
Reposted by Big Fat Bartolo's Colon
A Trump supporter started murdering his way through an assassination list of Democratic law makers FIVE MONTHS AGO. He murdered my colleague Melissa Hortman, and her husband Mark — and attempted to assassinate my dear friend John Hoffman and his wife Yvette. I was also on the hit list. WTF
November 20, 2025 at 5:56 PM
A Trump supporter started murdering his way through an assassination list of Democratic law makers FIVE MONTHS AGO. He murdered my colleague Melissa Hortman, and her husband Mark — and attempted to assassinate my dear friend John Hoffman and his wife Yvette. I was also on the hit list. WTF
if you had your own version of grok, what obviously untrue compliment would you want it programmed to always give you? id make it say I have the best social media handle that everyone understands and finds hilarious
November 20, 2025 at 4:15 PM
if you had your own version of grok, what obviously untrue compliment would you want it programmed to always give you? id make it say I have the best social media handle that everyone understands and finds hilarious
Reposted by Big Fat Bartolo's Colon
the “anti-fascist popular front” is big enough to include actual fascists (MTG) but not the most vulnerable targets of fascism (trans people, migrants), because they’re not actually trying to construct an anti-fascist popular front.
November 20, 2025 at 11:10 AM
the “anti-fascist popular front” is big enough to include actual fascists (MTG) but not the most vulnerable targets of fascism (trans people, migrants), because they’re not actually trying to construct an anti-fascist popular front.
the only job Larry Summers can get now is president
November 20, 2025 at 3:26 AM
the only job Larry Summers can get now is president
found @beckyhammer.bsky.social 's alt
(alexandria is gondor)
November 20, 2025 at 1:14 AM
found @beckyhammer.bsky.social 's alt
Nobody else in the office is mad at the guy who microwaves fish?
Problematic rage gap.
Problematic rage gap.
Your thanksgiving stuffing doesn’t taste right?
Problematic sage gap.
Problematic sage gap.
Somebody's taken out an entire chapter of your book?
Problematic page gap.
Problematic page gap.
November 19, 2025 at 11:30 PM
Nobody else in the office is mad at the guy who microwaves fish?
Problematic rage gap.
Problematic rage gap.
the most correct opinion ever expressed on Bluesky
Give Jamie Loftus a Golden Globe you cowards
November 19, 2025 at 4:24 PM
the most correct opinion ever expressed on Bluesky
Reposted by Big Fat Bartolo's Colon
ok apparently it is real and uh yeah i think we broke something in the simulation
www.popjustice.com/briefing/tha...
www.popjustice.com/briefing/tha...
November 18, 2025 at 3:57 PM
ok apparently it is real and uh yeah i think we broke something in the simulation
www.popjustice.com/briefing/tha...
www.popjustice.com/briefing/tha...
guys David is very busy this time of year, do not wait to the last minute. u can place ur order at [email protected]
Thanksgiving is coming soon so please make sure you've placed your turkey order with @davidjroth.bsky.social www.nytimes.com/2020/10/08/d...
A Disrupted Thanksgiving Leaves the Turkey Business Guessing (Published 2020)
www.nytimes.com
November 17, 2025 at 9:07 PM
guys David is very busy this time of year, do not wait to the last minute. u can place ur order at [email protected]
there has to be at least 1 woman on Bsky who left her high-powered job to marry a Christmas tree farmer who loses money bc he donates too much to the local orphanage
Hi! Working on story for Bustle on women who left their big city corporate jobs for "Hallmark" lives, i.e., moved to a small town to open a bookstore, left finance for farm life, dumped a Bay Area tech gig to become a florist, etc. If that's you, I'd love to talk! DMs open, [email protected]
November 17, 2025 at 6:33 PM
there has to be at least 1 woman on Bsky who left her high-powered job to marry a Christmas tree farmer who loses money bc he donates too much to the local orphanage