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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 11h

the typical romantic hetero rltnshp make me hate humanity more i cant describe Why exactly but its gross theres always discussion of looks and idk human mating sounds really transactional and gross im sorry help obviously i have nothing against couples per se its like discussion of these topics? idk

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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 11h

better at school than them lol im just Serious and stressed while not even performing better than ppl who care whos dating who and ok this is partly my fault bc im weirdly aversive abt relationships and i still dont fucking know if im ace/aro etc but its weirdly off putting to me idk but smth abt

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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 11h

like idc whos fucking who!! why r u discussing that shit without their permission when other ppl including me r there working and have to listen! i feel like im the only one who has a life only revolving around work and school and everyone else has these extra things idgaf abt yet im not even

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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 11h

idk but in general i hate overinvolved ppl who care sm abt others like why do u care sm lmfao. sigma types only pls 🙏ik im an overindepent only child who has always been apathetic but genuinely just stop talking shit abt ppl behind their back or caring what theyre doing w Their lives

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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 11h

humans are and how its so hard to gauge them w a moral compass (esp when ur own standards of morality may be unclear)

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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 11h

the complexity and multifacetedness of ppl never fails to throw me off. and ik it includes me too. i wish everyone was clear cut black and white villain or Good Person. and i Know theres shit abt me that would throw ppl off guard too and change their perception of me i just hate how complicated

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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 11h

i hate gossip i hate drama i love it when ppl mind their own fucking business

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Reposted by jess

Bailey McCann @baileymcc.bsky.social · 1d

This person took this when they called the race

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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 1d

spent the last 24 hrs in bed after i had a massive drunk breakdown abt my dog and i kept screaming in my sleep and breaking out in cold sweats and i remember realizing my dad really traumatized me (wow what an epiphany) and i missed two assignments and finally woke up at 3:30am lets get this bread..

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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 3d

help what is the psychology behind this.. probably perpetuating self fulfilling prophecy uhhhhh but i still want to drink bc Habit and i can stay home tomorrow for the whole day but im sleepy and i could go to bed not full and drunk butttttttttt

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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 3d

i want to drink but im not hungry and while i was chilling the drinks in the fridge i got sleepy and i think i could fall asleep but i cant leave the bottles in the fridge bc Mom mmm not even hungry (i think i use alc as an excuse to eat) so it wont hit as good and the guilt also wont hit as well??

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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 3d

they say planning is the key to success

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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 4d

read the email she was really nice abt it like ppl usually are sorry for acting insane as usual 🫡

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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 4d

its not that i want to be a terrible communicator im just fucking scared of everything and running away is always the easiest immediate option

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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 4d

Fault i was so terrified of the presentation for that one class that i skipped all my other classes 💀lol kill me how do i open the email how do i act normal how can i Be normal fml 👍

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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 4d

it eas a forwarded email like why tf would she fwd smth to me im Scared. and why do these profs never sleep like emailing me on the weekend past midnight lmao but it just feels like all the progress i made might be fake bc im back to being scared to open emails!!! ig esp more this time bc it was My

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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 4d

i drank two cocktails but didnt even get tipsy fml at least i stopped there ig but i cant sleep and i finally emailed the prof i bailed on (did the apology tour after avoiding reality thing) and i saw the notification that she replied but im Too Scared to Open It Fuck My Life ❤️ and for some reason

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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 4d

righttt very Cool in theory but pretty much impossible to understand as u said… glad the psych ward is still an option tho ❤️

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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 6d

i get why its called a thesis/dissertation Defense tho it rlly does feel like ur fighting for ur life trying to prove ur ideas are valid and ur not dumb lol

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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 6d

is it the fear of being criticized that makes me this way? if so Why am i so sensitive to criticism or anything vaguely resembling feeling like im not perfect and talented

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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 6d

presentation i was contemplating k1lling ms over went well today… whats the catch….. or maybe i came across completely neurotic and insecure and insane…. idk…. but its over omg and nobody threw rocks at me….. who wouldve guessed……

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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 7d

part of me was glad bc ive been binging this whole week and too scared to weigh myself and im hoping the meds will make me lose my appetite again but idk. idk if it can undo the fatass in me 💔 but does he not think im enough of an Addict or the fact that i felt like i was having a heart attack lmaoo

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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 7d

psych gave me More stimulants he dgaf 😍

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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 7d

could be religious if i tried… anyway idk not just cath0lic but being so locked in ur literally celibate… smth abt that is cool idk………..

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jess @benzopilled.bsky.social · 7d

but boo women cant be cath0lic priests right. also not religious in the first place lmao but the Concept of it is interesting to me… ppl whose religion is their job also have that aura of inner peace… very cool… monkhood v sexy too for the same reasons + i appreciate buddh1st ideals more but idt i

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