basilsimon.bsky.social
@basilsimon.bsky.social
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"You are Enrico Palazzo, but not the actual one." - my baby brother.
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My 3 year old was using a step stool to reach dangerous objects on high shelves. His mother is currently explaining that we aren't making exciting challenges, we're trying to stop him. I tried first but it just turned into a climbing safety lesson.
BlueSky has the best fun police, though. Have you seen the other guys' fun police? Double yikes.
I'd wondered what to call the Vespa in my low budget Dukes of Hazard reboot.
In the article it looks like she's saying she wants more police funding
instead of the national guard because hiring more cops would ultimately be cheaper than the overtime going to the current DC police. This does not match the headline. She may just be saying what she must to get the NG out.
That's an interesting perspective but sounds kinda complicated - maybe it would help if he led by example and personally showed us all how that's supposed to work.
You ever think about the person who came up with the term "2% milk" to replace "slightly under 2/3 the fat of whole milk but now it tastes nasty"? Absolute marketing genius.
I know this is how my wife sees most of my 3D printing misadventures because she quotes it when roasting me. She's very skilled in this way.
youtu.be/H8yQhXDquII?si=5CS8QlnMdKl9UPPW
The Nozzle | The Venture Bros. | Adult Swim
YouTube video by Adult Swim
youtu.be
I think I'm locked in a perpetual battle of wits with myself and neither of us is winning. I try to be so darn clever and end up running headlong into another clever thing I was trying to do, in a thrilling game of cat & mouse & I am both. It was never Spy VS Spy. Just Spy going through some stuff.
The wisdom is solid and he's not allowed to demand fun stuff from us before 6 in the morning. Before you judge too harshly, he's been petulantly shouting "How dare you!" for a few weeks. We are not British. We have a baby monitor. He is fine. He has plenty of books which he may, and can, read.
I'd need to be convinced Legends of the Hidden Temple wasn't designed by someone with a toddler. Right now I'm thinking, "If he gets through the door he'll have to contend with the baby gate! He can go over or try to decode the latch!" and last night's ancient wisdom was "It's 2AM-go back to sleep!"
"Nvidia" sounds like a Roald Dahl character whose parents have given her at least one pony and adores cucumber sandwiches. This makes yelling at my computer a lot more fun.
"Nvidia Cashbury had endured a dreadful morning oblivious to the possibility it could have been entirely her own fault."
I realized I use the wisdom of Roman leaders a lot in my parenting.
Tacticus: "If we all use the bathroom now, we won't have to stop playing later."
Marcus Aurelius: "Booboos are inevitable. We choose if we cry before or after we get a bandaid."
Julius Caesar: "It's always ok to say no to hugs."
Pro tip: if you're the kind of bougie where you can afford both trees and professional maintenance, and also are planning a birthday party for 2-4 year old truck enthusiasts, I think know a fantastic way to schedule the best birthday party ever 😏
I think the difference between "adventure" and "playtime" is risk. "Playtime on the high seas" is just going sailing and you know it. Maybe with a nice packed lunch - I'm not the boss of you. At most I'd remind you to wear sunscreen even on a cloudy day, and check the tides and wind beforehand. 🤷‍♂️
While I have occasionally described wiring, plumbing, and some notable tile work as "an affront to God and nature", I somehow never made the leap to running a crypto scam. 🤔
Tonight he said to his mother , "I vant to nuuuuurse," and she turned to me and said, "...yes, I heard it."
Reposted
As Carol waited for the pool boy to bring her second gin and tonic (where is he dammit), her mind drifted. “How the hell did I get like this. I was a jolly pup once.” Her drink arrived; a pleasantly numb fog was on just the other side of those ice cubes.
Today I was playing online chess and got asked if I was Russian. I replied if I was Russian with such a low rating they'd take away my pieces so they wouldn't get damaged in the fall.
I know the world is on fire but does anyone else long for an electric Crown Victoria? Seems like the torque and ease of repair would unite an as yet untapped cross section of nerds.
I think my problem (well, one of many) is that my best ideas usually come encased in a thick block of purest Art and extracting them is an absolute nightmare.
Picking up my not-yet-3 year old for bedtime:
"Did you have fun with Grandpa?"
"Yes!"
"What did you do?"
"We looked for froggies!"
"That's nice!"
15 minutes later I remember that one of Grandpa's favorite after-dark hobbies is hunting invasive species of frogs with an improvised slingshot harpoon.
My eldest toddler just reached the point where he has an identifiable accent and it's like his first two languages were Romanian and Castilian Spanish. I have no idea why or how. My son is a Sacha Baron Cohen character. Aah. To be fair he is also wildly funny.
The target comes into view. The assassin smells something new in the air. His eyes dart between the cheese and the baby. "Une minute, Petit!" he whispers with a touch of panic, and thinking quickly opens the young bottle of Côtes de Villages and uses the cork as an improvised pacifier.
Also "wicker carrying case" makes me think of something a french sniper would use to assemble a baby on a rooftop, with a bottle of wine and some cheese tucked between the femur and the scope 😂
That would be quite the infant car seat recall - but as a dad who did need the "how else did you expect to get your child home from the hospital?" explanation I was also thinking along these lines 🤷‍♂️