The Book of Mazarbullshit
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banalitybob.bsky.social
The Book of Mazarbullshit
@banalitybob.bsky.social
48 followers 190 following 300 posts
Queer father of fish, isopods, tarantulas, and a cat. TTRPG, Magic, and fantasy nerd. "That bitchy Hagrid" according to some girl at work. He/they.
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Honorable mentions to some all time bangers that all have specific special memories, but were edged out by the above 10 cards.
#10 Icetill Explorer. What even is this card?! It's so good at enabling so much of what I love doing in Magic. Land synergies! Self mill! Graveyard shenanigans! Ramp! It does it all. I ended up with it in 5 decks within 3 weeks of the set coming out. I adore my bug child so much.
#9 Glarb, Calamity's Augur marks my first real foray into cEDH (and first minor tournament top 4/8/16 conversions in cEDH). He is my Bontu for competitive, and regardless of how poorly he's positioned in the meta, I adore my frog dude. Long, grindy control games are my favorite.
#8 God-Eternal Bontu won my heart when I saw someone sac their entire board to her on standard coverage to kill with a Mayhem Devil. I also was obsessed with Egypt as a child and love crocodillians. She has been my longest lasting, most blinged out, and favorite Commander ever since.
#7 Karn, the Great Creator made it so I didn't have to sideboard in Pioneer and Modern. I love artifacts, stax pieces, and a good ramp strategy, and Nykthos/Tron lands made my world go around.
#6 Martyr of Sands was one of the core pieces of my first ever Modern deck when the format was in its infancy. I took down one of the first large Modern events in Ohio, because I was gaining life while people were trying to win fast with Affinity & Zoo.
#5 Vhati il-Dal was my first ever Commander of this strange new format called Elder Dragon Highlander. I used his ability in conjunction with Thornbite Staff and Night of Souls Betrayal to lock out creatures, then won with stuff like Lord of Extinction, Vulturous Zombie and Spiritmonger.
#4 Tortured Existence was the first Pauper deck that stole my eternal love. Can you tell I love a grindy value engine?
#3 & #4 are Life From the Loam and Trade Routes, a 2 part grindy draw combo from my kitchen table casual nights with friends in college. I jam this combo into far too many Commander decks.
#2 Loxodon Hierarch was part of the first "good" tournament deck I ever played. I started playing seriously in OG Ravnica block, and my first FNM deck I won with was Ghazi Glare. The elephant is still one of my favorite pieces of Magic art.
The person & 10 Magic cards to get to know them:

#1 7th Edition Mountain # 337 is my first card, because I learned to play with a scrapped together deck of mono red cards from 7th Edition. The art for this mountain has always been one of my favorites, and it's the one I use when possible.
When you find posts in the wild and have to check if @shivambhatt.bsky.social reskeeted it.
Without downloading new pictures, what is it like to date you?
Long noodles (angel hair, spaghetti, linguine, etc). They always end up getting sauce in my beard (which is a sensory nightmare) and there isn't a dignified way to eat them.

Bonus discourse, I'm a huge Rotini fan.
I wear my clan pin every day at work.

I'm excited to hear how Bloodlines 2 is.
I just received in the mail a fake beard, rainbow cape, pride flag clacking fan, and Wizard hat for my Gandalf the Gay costume.

Yours is superior.
Softly and plaintively saying "no, dont" whenever anyone takes an action that hurts me.

"Ew, gross" whenever anything.
"SwampAss" when I play a Swamp & pass (a frequent turn 1 habit of mine).

"P the T"

"Move to punchies"

Calling duals their colors ("I'm gonna fetch a Bluey Greeney" for fetching a Breeding Pool")

Sun Titan is "Sussy Titussy" and Grave Titan is "Stanky Papi" (& his Stank Boys)
Define your musc taste in 8 artists:

Missy Elliott
The Magic Sword
Lady Gaga
The Birthday Massacre
Florence + The Machine
Years & Years
Qveen Herby
MARINA
Coheed and Cambria
Hop Along
Manchester Orchestra
The Mars Volta
Idiot Pilot
Poppy
Chappell Roan
Cocorosie
Define your music taste in eight artists:

Deftones
Sleater-Kinney
Mars Volta
Melvins
Bjork
Fugazi
Tool
Callous Daoboys
The Star Trek CCG by Decipher sold plastic transparencies that changed card borders to denote characters who were assimilated by the Borg. I've often wished Magic had something similar.
Side note, I'd love to hear your insights and experience playing Ophidian 2350.
The Middle Earth CCG rules books that came with the starter decks were a huge factor in why I didn't learn to play the game for several years after collecting a metric crapton of it.
My LGS added them to their buy list, and I'm talking a half dozen in tomorrow.
Definitely one of my favorite Magic artists with too many bangers to list.