Avery Edison
@averyedison.com
“wonderfully clever” but as a pejorative • briefly a comedian • trans woman (she/her) • good stuff at onlyfans.com/averyedison
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Avery Edison
@averyedison.com
· Jun 15
june 15th 2024 / yes, *technically* born male but I feel like it’s pretty clear my genes were secretly wanting to go in a different direction. like I’m sorry but when I bought my first eyeliner and popped my first pills my body had to be like “okay we can WORK with this”
it’s been useful to get gladiator feedback, thanks all. one thing that kept coming up on the surveys: lion bites. my advice is still to be quick on *yanking* your arms back from those jaws, okay?
in completely separate business, we are putting a drain in the middle of the arena
in completely separate business, we are putting a drain in the middle of the arena
January 18, 2026 at 6:29 PM
it’s been useful to get gladiator feedback, thanks all. one thing that kept coming up on the surveys: lion bites. my advice is still to be quick on *yanking* your arms back from those jaws, okay?
in completely separate business, we are putting a drain in the middle of the arena
in completely separate business, we are putting a drain in the middle of the arena
ME: oh cool, a massive streamer/youtuber started playing my favorite game, I wonder how he’s doing?
THE COMMENT SECTION:
THE COMMENT SECTION:
January 18, 2026 at 5:10 PM
ME: oh cool, a massive streamer/youtuber started playing my favorite game, I wonder how he’s doing?
THE COMMENT SECTION:
THE COMMENT SECTION:
loving the pale horse! have we given any though to the rider’s color scheme at all? would be good if they matched, obviously, but I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes—or hooves, as it were!
January 18, 2026 at 4:04 PM
loving the pale horse! have we given any though to the rider’s color scheme at all? would be good if they matched, obviously, but I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes—or hooves, as it were!
and in the end, the love you take is equal to, or less than, y’know, amortized over how many months or what have you, and bearing in mind the tax implications, but basically still commensurate value with the, uh… well, look—you’re not losing out in this deal. on paper. mostly
January 18, 2026 at 5:15 AM
and in the end, the love you take is equal to, or less than, y’know, amortized over how many months or what have you, and bearing in mind the tax implications, but basically still commensurate value with the, uh… well, look—you’re not losing out in this deal. on paper. mostly
informing my girlfriend that not only am I very normal, but with the way things are now I’m actually one of the more normal people she’ll meet, going forward.
January 18, 2026 at 1:12 AM
informing my girlfriend that not only am I very normal, but with the way things are now I’m actually one of the more normal people she’ll meet, going forward.
let me get this right—we all know that thetans are bad, but we’re going to relentlessly slander the sole organization actually trying to do something about them???
January 18, 2026 at 1:06 AM
let me get this right—we all know that thetans are bad, but we’re going to relentlessly slander the sole organization actually trying to do something about them???
probably means nothing that those leaked government disaster plans are all so vague except for the full emergency response packet for if a jupiter-sized, tentacled cube creature appears and starts drilling its tendrils through the earth’s crust to drain heat from its molten core
January 17, 2026 at 10:15 PM
probably means nothing that those leaked government disaster plans are all so vague except for the full emergency response packet for if a jupiter-sized, tentacled cube creature appears and starts drilling its tendrils through the earth’s crust to drain heat from its molten core
heyyy so because nobody came to the blood drive this year we’re gonna need to use a new substance our technician dr. gray created called “blörd”. he says it’s “like blood, but more metal” and that anyone who receives a blörd transfusion will be healed but “very different”
January 17, 2026 at 9:46 PM
heyyy so because nobody came to the blood drive this year we’re gonna need to use a new substance our technician dr. gray created called “blörd”. he says it’s “like blood, but more metal” and that anyone who receives a blörd transfusion will be healed but “very different”
“The birds don’t seem to realize their hollow bones make for terrible prison bars. All five of us break out of here at dawn.”
“But boss, they’re making me fight that giant hawk tonight!”
“My apologies. Four of us break out of here at dawn.”
“But boss, they’re making me fight that giant hawk tonight!”
“My apologies. Four of us break out of here at dawn.”
January 17, 2026 at 8:50 PM
“The birds don’t seem to realize their hollow bones make for terrible prison bars. All five of us break out of here at dawn.”
“But boss, they’re making me fight that giant hawk tonight!”
“My apologies. Four of us break out of here at dawn.”
“But boss, they’re making me fight that giant hawk tonight!”
“My apologies. Four of us break out of here at dawn.”
ah, a fan account for my favorite celebrity just posted something. think I might hop in the comments and ask an intensely personal and invasive question, convinced that this message will somehow reach the actual celebrity. oh, and I should be really rude, too! I’m normal
January 17, 2026 at 7:09 PM
ah, a fan account for my favorite celebrity just posted something. think I might hop in the comments and ask an intensely personal and invasive question, convinced that this message will somehow reach the actual celebrity. oh, and I should be really rude, too! I’m normal
The Pitt indulging in the worst excesses of its style when the mean new doctor used her generative ai app and then everyone frowned and turned to the camera to shout “the generative ai app is evil. and it’s not weird at all the we keep saying the generative part. that’s natural”
January 17, 2026 at 6:46 PM
The Pitt indulging in the worst excesses of its style when the mean new doctor used her generative ai app and then everyone frowned and turned to the camera to shout “the generative ai app is evil. and it’s not weird at all the we keep saying the generative part. that’s natural”
obviously I massively disagree with this but you kinda have to give him a pass because of how hot his mom was in rocky horror
"You’re not going to get in the car and go to the next town to see a movie," says Netflix co-CEO Ted Sarandos
Ted Sarandos commits to 45-day theatrical windows, believes theaters are for city folk
Ted Sarandos commits to 45-day theatrical windows, believes theaters are for city folk
www.avclub.com
January 17, 2026 at 6:40 PM
obviously I massively disagree with this but you kinda have to give him a pass because of how hot his mom was in rocky horror
NEW MECHANIC: “Jungle Turn”. At the GM’s discretion, the game enters the jungle. While in the jungle, players must act in a way that is “jungle”, as defined by the table. Many games do not return from the jungle, their stories becoming jungle stories.
January 17, 2026 at 6:34 PM
NEW MECHANIC: “Jungle Turn”. At the GM’s discretion, the game enters the jungle. While in the jungle, players must act in a way that is “jungle”, as defined by the table. Many games do not return from the jungle, their stories becoming jungle stories.
I went on a random word generator website and asked it to generate an infinite number of random words. so I’ve technically already written every book. you can all stop trying to write books. I did that with the website
January 17, 2026 at 5:08 PM
I went on a random word generator website and asked it to generate an infinite number of random words. so I’ve technically already written every book. you can all stop trying to write books. I did that with the website
HUGE story developing as one of the queen’s ladies-in-waiting has been fired after repeatedly calling for the fool to acknowledge his jester’s privilege.
January 17, 2026 at 12:42 AM
HUGE story developing as one of the queen’s ladies-in-waiting has been fired after repeatedly calling for the fool to acknowledge his jester’s privilege.
recently bitten by a dog? make sure you get a post-exposure shot so you don’t experience DogChange. no it’s not that, that’s different, this is just DogChange
January 17, 2026 at 12:19 AM
recently bitten by a dog? make sure you get a post-exposure shot so you don’t experience DogChange. no it’s not that, that’s different, this is just DogChange
okay, so, under ‘education’ you’ve written, “kicked out of high school for being disruptive because I was a guinea pig for adhd in the 2000s. I don’t regret it though it’s thanks to boys like me it became safe for the hot girlies to have and they’re just late sometimes”
January 17, 2026 at 12:09 AM
okay, so, under ‘education’ you’ve written, “kicked out of high school for being disruptive because I was a guinea pig for adhd in the 2000s. I don’t regret it though it’s thanks to boys like me it became safe for the hot girlies to have and they’re just late sometimes”
in the first season of australian traitors they had someone who claimed to be psychic. and what I’m saying is there should be a season where *every* contestant is someone who claims to be psychic
January 16, 2026 at 8:40 PM
in the first season of australian traitors they had someone who claimed to be psychic. and what I’m saying is there should be a season where *every* contestant is someone who claims to be psychic
and hold the award up a little higher? and try not to look too scary, if you can? into the lens, love. yeah, you just look a bit scary because of how dangerously thin you are. and just turn to the left? I know, a lot of pressure this time of year. and smile! no, not scary smile
January 16, 2026 at 8:27 PM
and hold the award up a little higher? and try not to look too scary, if you can? into the lens, love. yeah, you just look a bit scary because of how dangerously thin you are. and just turn to the left? I know, a lot of pressure this time of year. and smile! no, not scary smile
I completely understand—and almost approve of!—our planet trying to attract alien life forms who can replace us and serve as better stewards. what I cannot condone are the hemispherical injection procedures earth is going under to enhance its equatorial bulge
January 16, 2026 at 8:20 PM
I completely understand—and almost approve of!—our planet trying to attract alien life forms who can replace us and serve as better stewards. what I cannot condone are the hemispherical injection procedures earth is going under to enhance its equatorial bulge
in about an hour we’re going to adjust the length of a second for a few days. it’ll just take a minute, and you’ll only feel the side-effects for a week. we did the same thing last month, after that pilot program earlier in the year. biggest change to time in a decade.
January 16, 2026 at 7:25 PM
in about an hour we’re going to adjust the length of a second for a few days. it’ll just take a minute, and you’ll only feel the side-effects for a week. we did the same thing last month, after that pilot program earlier in the year. biggest change to time in a decade.
computer, prepare think helmet. activate electrical theta stimulation. seal the room and flood it with O2. hook a salmon drop drip up to my IV. I must be at peak cleverness. yes. yes,I see it now. my brain has built the solution—you must take the *chicken* across the river first
January 16, 2026 at 6:31 PM
computer, prepare think helmet. activate electrical theta stimulation. seal the room and flood it with O2. hook a salmon drop drip up to my IV. I must be at peak cleverness. yes. yes,I see it now. my brain has built the solution—you must take the *chicken* across the river first
“Intelligence and humor, I guess? Like she wouldn’t even have to be nice if she were smart and funny enough?” In my peripheral vision, I spot Medusa entering the room, “Snakes in hair is pretty big for me. Island living. Love a snake-y girl, don’t know if I mentioned that.”
January 16, 2026 at 6:00 PM
“Intelligence and humor, I guess? Like she wouldn’t even have to be nice if she were smart and funny enough?” In my peripheral vision, I spot Medusa entering the room, “Snakes in hair is pretty big for me. Island living. Love a snake-y girl, don’t know if I mentioned that.”
there’s your knife/fork/spoon drawer, then your utensil drawer, your cutlery drawer, your scullery drawer, rubber band drawer, things of the hand drawer (gloves and mittens), things that are bland drawer, cats of the land drawer (love some kittens), and, of course, “misc”.
January 16, 2026 at 5:47 PM
there’s your knife/fork/spoon drawer, then your utensil drawer, your cutlery drawer, your scullery drawer, rubber band drawer, things of the hand drawer (gloves and mittens), things that are bland drawer, cats of the land drawer (love some kittens), and, of course, “misc”.
they should put me in front of the glambot so people can watch me stand still and panic in super slow-mo
January 16, 2026 at 4:45 PM
they should put me in front of the glambot so people can watch me stand still and panic in super slow-mo