Avery Edison
@averyedison.com
ludicrously clever • briefly a comedian • not going to get yelled at • trans woman (she/her) • good stuff at onlyfans.com/averyedison
just saw an instance of this and there is absolutely no world in which you should be allowed to remain on a social networking site with the words “gay, no TQ+ nonsense” in your bio. obviously the people who run these platforms don’t care, but fucking hell, how did we ever let this become normal
December 1, 2025 at 2:37 PM
just saw an instance of this and there is absolutely no world in which you should be allowed to remain on a social networking site with the words “gay, no TQ+ nonsense” in your bio. obviously the people who run these platforms don’t care, but fucking hell, how did we ever let this become normal
I don’t see what’s so bizarre, for *decades* people have been waking up and reading the newspaper. the only difference for me is that the newspaper is a billionaire-curated never-ending stream of obviously fake videos designed to make me angry and push my politics rightward.
December 1, 2025 at 2:23 PM
I don’t see what’s so bizarre, for *decades* people have been waking up and reading the newspaper. the only difference for me is that the newspaper is a billionaire-curated never-ending stream of obviously fake videos designed to make me angry and push my politics rightward.
every single day of my life my partner tells me another story from her childhood which would be THE story from anyone else’s childhood
December 1, 2025 at 5:14 AM
every single day of my life my partner tells me another story from her childhood which would be THE story from anyone else’s childhood
im pretty sure I missed pond day at school so i have no idea about when frogs turn into toads or whatever
December 1, 2025 at 5:10 AM
im pretty sure I missed pond day at school so i have no idea about when frogs turn into toads or whatever
I do NOT recommend looking at another country’s idea of what the Monopoly board is. the false equivalencies… it’s insulting. it’s often insulting
December 1, 2025 at 3:15 AM
I do NOT recommend looking at another country’s idea of what the Monopoly board is. the false equivalencies… it’s insulting. it’s often insulting
the deep oceans of fanfic on the internet are so great because, yeah, apparently everybody *does* have a novel in them! it just turns out that a lot of those novels are about transformers being gay together
December 1, 2025 at 2:45 AM
the deep oceans of fanfic on the internet are so great because, yeah, apparently everybody *does* have a novel in them! it just turns out that a lot of those novels are about transformers being gay together
Everyone wants to hear my thoughts on the new Fortnite season.
GOOD: new pump; new hitmarker sounds; return of the Kinetic Blade; return of the sniper.
BAD: snipers should be one-shot; the new DBNO system is fun but makes for some miserable games; balloons are a shadow of Chapter 3’s god-balloons.
GOOD: new pump; new hitmarker sounds; return of the Kinetic Blade; return of the sniper.
BAD: snipers should be one-shot; the new DBNO system is fun but makes for some miserable games; balloons are a shadow of Chapter 3’s god-balloons.
November 30, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Everyone wants to hear my thoughts on the new Fortnite season.
GOOD: new pump; new hitmarker sounds; return of the Kinetic Blade; return of the sniper.
BAD: snipers should be one-shot; the new DBNO system is fun but makes for some miserable games; balloons are a shadow of Chapter 3’s god-balloons.
GOOD: new pump; new hitmarker sounds; return of the Kinetic Blade; return of the sniper.
BAD: snipers should be one-shot; the new DBNO system is fun but makes for some miserable games; balloons are a shadow of Chapter 3’s god-balloons.
[visibly sawing off my own arm with a bread knife] this is the healthiest I’ve ever been, by the way. and last week? when you thought I was *super* healthy just because I was walking around with two fully-functioning arms? yeah, I actually had earache. makes you think.
November 30, 2025 at 7:19 PM
[visibly sawing off my own arm with a bread knife] this is the healthiest I’ve ever been, by the way. and last week? when you thought I was *super* healthy just because I was walking around with two fully-functioning arms? yeah, I actually had earache. makes you think.
we’ve found you guilty, here’s your custodial sentence—oh, and by the way, make sure not to write a bestselling book about what you’ve done, that would be profiting off of a crime. much better that we let your creative spark die just because you killed fifteen people
November 30, 2025 at 5:52 PM
we’ve found you guilty, here’s your custodial sentence—oh, and by the way, make sure not to write a bestselling book about what you’ve done, that would be profiting off of a crime. much better that we let your creative spark die just because you killed fifteen people
just forgot animation existed and reinvented it from first principles. high school graduate
November 28, 2025 at 7:49 PM
just forgot animation existed and reinvented it from first principles. high school graduate
put cameras on the streetcars and every time your traffic infraction is so obvious that it gets caught by the giant red land-train lumbering down the road you get your license removed, forever
November 28, 2025 at 6:08 PM
put cameras on the streetcars and every time your traffic infraction is so obvious that it gets caught by the giant red land-train lumbering down the road you get your license removed, forever
schism forming between the lads over whether or not it counts as “having tried every pizza topping” if some of them were in different foods. mushroom soup. tinned anchovies. one guy reckons he’s “probably had a pepperoni on a charcuterie board or something”
November 27, 2025 at 4:45 PM
schism forming between the lads over whether or not it counts as “having tried every pizza topping” if some of them were in different foods. mushroom soup. tinned anchovies. one guy reckons he’s “probably had a pepperoni on a charcuterie board or something”
I appear to be the only person who knows that everything fun about the sound of “pc music” can also be found in that hellogoodbye album from twenty years ago, but you try telling other people about it and you just look like a crazy conspiracist
November 26, 2025 at 7:41 PM
I appear to be the only person who knows that everything fun about the sound of “pc music” can also be found in that hellogoodbye album from twenty years ago, but you try telling other people about it and you just look like a crazy conspiracist
they’re doing reboots and revivals of all the shows that were important to me growing up. and they’ll come for yours, too!
November 25, 2025 at 10:44 PM
they’re doing reboots and revivals of all the shows that were important to me growing up. and they’ll come for yours, too!
not getting involved because everyone knows my position but fwiw there’s plenty of pomegranates waiting for you in hell
November 24, 2025 at 5:26 PM
not getting involved because everyone knows my position but fwiw there’s plenty of pomegranates waiting for you in hell
Posted a few other of these on Twitter because of that “what’s the lore behind you header?” prompt, so it’s only fair to upload them here, too:
November 24, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Posted a few other of these on Twitter because of that “what’s the lore behind you header?” prompt, so it’s only fair to upload them here, too:
I do like that every image that can be proven to have existed before LLM image generation just had its stock go way, way up. oh, this shitty picture of a moody tree I took during my photography phase in 2005? it may be bad, but the Flickr upload timestamped it: REAL, baby.
November 24, 2025 at 2:31 AM
I do like that every image that can be proven to have existed before LLM image generation just had its stock go way, way up. oh, this shitty picture of a moody tree I took during my photography phase in 2005? it may be bad, but the Flickr upload timestamped it: REAL, baby.
friends fear she’s re-re-reading the 1.6million-word superhero epic WORM
friends fear she’s re-reading the 1.6million-word superhero epic WORM
November 20, 2025 at 6:51 PM
friends fear she’s re-re-reading the 1.6million-word superhero epic WORM
odd that “don’t talk about women’ bodies!” has turned into “we as a culture must ignore and talk around eating disorders, essentially pretending they don’t exist”. I don’t think it’s anti-feminist to say “heads up, this celebrity is unwell, you shouldn’t aim to look like her”
November 19, 2025 at 9:06 PM
odd that “don’t talk about women’ bodies!” has turned into “we as a culture must ignore and talk around eating disorders, essentially pretending they don’t exist”. I don’t think it’s anti-feminist to say “heads up, this celebrity is unwell, you shouldn’t aim to look like her”
just described a cat as “an ethan hawke-type and he’s also a model and he also reads as ethnically ambiguous” there needs to be a sleep mode for the human brain
November 19, 2025 at 6:19 AM
just described a cat as “an ethan hawke-type and he’s also a model and he also reads as ethnically ambiguous” there needs to be a sleep mode for the human brain
The doctor says, “I can treat this boy, he is my son!” How is this possible? Because the doctor is the dad from Garden State.
November 19, 2025 at 5:21 AM
The doctor says, “I can treat this boy, he is my son!” How is this possible? Because the doctor is the dad from Garden State.
cursing my nerdiest enemies with “may your favorite software move to a subscription model”
November 19, 2025 at 1:04 AM
cursing my nerdiest enemies with “may your favorite software move to a subscription model”
Hollywood is out of actors! If you are near a casting office or performance space, run in there and grab as many actors as you can! Those actors are now yours!
November 18, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Hollywood is out of actors! If you are near a casting office or performance space, run in there and grab as many actors as you can! Those actors are now yours!
“It was at this point that most of us on the team started to understand that what we were dealing with was,” she said, frowning a little as she searched for the words, “just the biggest red dog we’d ever seen.”
November 18, 2025 at 6:45 PM
“It was at this point that most of us on the team started to understand that what we were dealing with was,” she said, frowning a little as she searched for the words, “just the biggest red dog we’d ever seen.”
i was a big time marketing guy until an exorcist hired me to come up with a slogan for his business and all i could think of was “we protect A LOT of people from A LOT of demonic forces”
November 18, 2025 at 6:01 AM
i was a big time marketing guy until an exorcist hired me to come up with a slogan for his business and all i could think of was “we protect A LOT of people from A LOT of demonic forces”