Ambroise Garel
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ambroisegarel.com
Ambroise Garel
@ambroisegarel.com
6K followers 760 following 5K posts
Full stack dilettante, apprenti polymathe, scribouillard.

Rédacteur en chef de @lepavenumerique.com, créateur de L'Insolithe (linsolithe.ghost.io).

Tout le reste sur mon site : ambroisegarel.com
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Reposted by Ambroise Garel
dynamicsymmetry.bsky.social
Glad I saved this by @longwall26.bsky.social
Tweet by Jason @longwall26 My cat, an idiot: Those ornaments look exactly like my toys. Why can't I play with them? Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
December 7, 2025 at 7:06 PM
Reposted by Ambroise Garel
maitre-poulard.bsky.social
J'aime à croire que dans la tête des orientalistes, l'Extrême-Orient, c'était une sorte d'orient hardcore avec pyramides de 600m de haut, chasse au T-Rex, harems de la taille d'une ville et comtes des millions et une nuits
December 7, 2025 at 4:34 PM
ambroisegarel.com
- ALL I WANT FOR YOU IS CHRISTMAS, she smiles.

I shrivel and cry. I've been Mrs Carey's prisoner for so long Begrudgingly, I begin to decorate a new Christmas tree, like I've been doing each day for years now.
December 7, 2025 at 5:10 PM
Reposted by Ambroise Garel
descenacre.bsky.social
I like the idea of "Blindwrist" as a derogatory term for someone who doesn't own a "watch"
December 7, 2025 at 1:06 PM
Reposted by Ambroise Garel
rarebodyoils.bsky.social
me: ayo Blindwrist. whats in the oven today
Blindwrist the Profaner: ᴀɴɢᴇʟ ᴍᴜᴛᴛᴏɴ
me: thats a harrowing roast brother
Blindwrist the Profaner: ʏᴇꜱ. ᴡᴇʟʟ. ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴜᴀʀᴅɪᴀɴ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀꜱʟᴇᴇᴘ.
me: i suppose thats true
December 6, 2025 at 10:51 PM
ambroisegarel.com
ROI SALOMON : (saisit le bébé et un couteau)
FAUSSE MÈRE : Merci pour votre partage 😘😘😘
ROI SALOMON : Ah-ah ! (remet le bébé à la véritable mère)
December 7, 2025 at 1:59 PM
Reposted by Ambroise Garel
brutumfulmen.bsky.social
Get a load of this. 😆
A post from ViperThreat: Worked as an on-call computer tech for about a year, and I've seen some weird shit. Plenty of Hoarders, elderly men with interesting sexual fantasies, Multimillonaire Lawyers with closets full of gay porn, etc. The weirdest one was this cool old dude who had retired and lived in a double-wide trailer in a fairly nice retirement trailer park. His house had one of those trains that traveled along the walls from room to room, occasionally poking through walls and such. The primary purpose of this train was to carry his bird (a blue macaw IIRC) around the house. From his explanation, the bird had some birth defects and had difficulty flying, so they built the train for the bird to cruise around the house on. This may not sound all that weird to you, but let me set the stage for you: You're a college student removing a stupid browser hijack from some old guy's computer. You're nearly done with the job when you hear a clacking sound and look up to see a toy train crossing your vision. Aboard the train is a decently sized bird that makes eye contact with you and says "choo choo motherfucker" before disappearing into the next room. One of the most surreal moments of my life.
December 5, 2025 at 1:35 PM
ambroisegarel.com
Idée : associer l'interface de Tinder au texte d'annonces matrimoniales du Chasseur Français de 1882
Image d'un smartphone avec l'interface de Tinder. On voit une jeune femme blonde avec écrit « Amanda, 26 » et le texte suivant : « Jeune veuve très peu défraîchie, 60 000 fr de dot. Désirerait épouser jeune homme possédant des talents d'agrément. Condition essentielle : savoir soigner les rhumatismes. Inutile de se présenter si le jeune homme fume, chique ou prise. »
December 7, 2025 at 11:45 AM
Reposted by Ambroise Garel
surprisedface.bsky.social
[eating banana bread] “wow, this is delicious, what other rotten fruit can we bake.”
December 5, 2025 at 3:07 AM
Reposted by Ambroise Garel
skilletqueso.com
at what point will star wars discover that the force is carcinogenic?
December 3, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Reposted by Ambroise Garel
usili.bsky.social
December 2, 2025 at 1:26 PM
Reposted by Ambroise Garel
stevengawoski.bsky.social
Silicoflagellate Variations 6/2022 13 X 20 inches [33 X 50.8 cm] Colored Pencil on Paper #sciart #gawoski #plankton
December 7, 2025 at 8:58 AM
Reposted by Ambroise Garel
deathbybadger.bsky.social
ANUBIS: (presses button with paw) [guilty]
OSIRIS: im sorry he does this when he's hungry
ANUBIS: (button) [guilty] [bad] [food]
OSIRIS: you already ate
ANUBIS: (button) [bad] [bad] [bad]
OSIRIS: he's right though we weighed your heart against the feather and its not looking good
November 2, 2025 at 12:23 PM
Reposted by Ambroise Garel
standplaatskrk.pl
homunculus-argument on tumblr: "Random old finnish folklore I recall reading: The reason you have to close someone's eyes after they dies or cover their eyes with a cloth if you can't, is because the spirit of the newly passed is still in the body and even though it cant move the eyes anymore, it can still see. You must avoid making eye contact with the dead bodys because the soul of the newly dead is scared to go alone, and is looking for someone to come with them. If you lock eyes with the corpse, you will be the next to die." audriuska12: "So is the second corpse still hazardous, then, or are they fine since they have the first one for company?" homunculus-argument: "I must confess I don't really know about the more exact details of the undead buddy system."
December 6, 2025 at 5:54 PM
ambroisegarel.com
Bon, ça doit être son sixième bouquin de cette trempe, je propose qu'on gagne tous du temps en filant dès maintenant le prix Nobel de littérature à Laura Vazquez, ce sera fait.
Couverture de Les Forces, le dernier roman de Laura Vazquez
December 6, 2025 at 6:08 PM
Reposted by Ambroise Garel
standplaatskrk.pl
polpotpie on tumblr poses the question: "What if water didn't have surface tension and whenever you spilled some, the whole floor of your entire apartment was covered in a 2 micrometer deep puddle" teaboot replies: "you've taught me to count blessings I didn't know were mine"
December 6, 2025 at 3:13 PM
ambroisegarel.com
Moyens de réenchanter le monde, ep. 526 :

Ajouter mentalement la mention « avec applicateur » des tampons hygiéniques sur d'autres produits de consommation courante pour les rendre mystérieux.

— Dentifrice (avec applicateur)
— Croquettes pour chat (avec applicateur)
— Rillettes (avec applicateur)
December 6, 2025 at 2:12 PM
Reposted by Ambroise Garel
spinebusterkeaton.bsky.social
“There’s no such thing as ethical consumption under capitalism, therefore it’s not my fault when I act like a total prick.”
December 6, 2025 at 10:11 AM
Reposted by Ambroise Garel
andraswf.bsky.social
My favourite genre of leftism is just replying to any problem with "it's capitalism" and subsequently doing nothing
December 6, 2025 at 10:06 AM
Reposted by Ambroise Garel
unenthusiast.com
You mythology 100% of the deities you don't believe in
December 5, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Reposted by Ambroise Garel
mikedrucker.bsky.social
I wrote a bit for McSweeney's about Isaac Chotiner interviewing Santa Claus. Just a little something for the holiday season. Enjoy!
The New Yorker’s Isaac Chotiner Interviews Santa Claus
For several centuries, Santa Claus has been one of the most prolific mythical gift-givers in the world. Formerly known as Saint Nicholas of Myra, a...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 4, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Reposted by Ambroise Garel
brenthor.bsky.social
I had a dream i went to a neurodivergent rap concert and one of the rappers yelled 'yo where all my autistics at' and the crowd cheered and held up copies of Moby Dick like cigarette lighters.
December 11, 2023 at 6:21 PM
ambroisegarel.com
Maintenant il faudrait un prix Nobel de foot
December 5, 2025 at 7:03 PM
ambroisegarel.com
Cette semaine dans L'Insolithe, des guides touristiques peu connus, comme le Guide Ducasse des pneumatiques, complément parfait au guide Michelin, dans lequel des restaurateurs vous recommandent leurs pneus préférés.

linsolithe.ghost.io/...
Extrait de L'Insolithe : "Le Guide du roublard Né en réponse aux critiques adressées au célèbre Guide du routard, qui selon certains serait un peu trop destiné aux vacanciers bourgeois, le Guide du roublard regorge d'astuces pour des vacances à la portée de toutes les bourses. Proposant un grand nombre de destinations (Garges-lès-Gonesse, La Courneuve, Roubaix…), le Guide du roublard vous propose une carte des ponts les plus confortables pour passer la nuit à l'abri de la pluie et un trombinoscope des contrôleurs SNCF faciles à embobiner quand vous êtes monté sans billet. Point d'orgue du guide, son célèbre encart « tables et baskets » qui détaille, restaurant par restaurant, les meilleurs tactiques pour partir sans payer, par exemple « le serveur de l'après-midi est asthmatique, vous n'aurez pas de mal à le semer à la course » ou encore « la patronne ne surveille jamais le coin de la terrasse derrière le platane. »"
December 5, 2025 at 5:06 PM
ambroisegarel.com
Au nombre des Grandes Tragédies Humaines :
La certitude de perdre 90 % de lecteurs si on publie sur un flux RSS self-hosté plutôt que sur une plateforme de newsletters.

Cela alors que l'e-mail n'a QUE des désavantages par rapport au RSS (à part la possibilité du forwarding)
December 5, 2025 at 4:33 PM