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ahhmandah.bsky.social
f*male b*tch 🇵🇸
@ahhmandah.bsky.social
just a brain floating in a jar of formaldehyde. you can't come to my birthday ok you can

📍 tāmaki makaurau aotearoa nz on te kawerau-a-maki land

if you didn't vote stop reading this right now. you're grounded
my hoarder neighbour with the hugely overgrown section, who I'm on a cross lease with (999 years of tolerating each other, hell yeah) has holes in his roof, no electricity, rotted windowsills, tarps instead of glass, and a tree growing in his wall. what should I get him for christmas
December 6, 2025 at 6:16 PM
how do you people sleep without five delightful glasses of water on the bedside table. grow up
December 6, 2025 at 6:08 PM
I'm happy we have ikea in aonz now. previous options for furniture: $3,000 for a single chair that's medium quality or $30 for a piece of crap from kmart or the warehouse that swells up the moment it is unpacked. finally - options. dear god it's about time we dragged one foot into the 21st century
December 6, 2025 at 8:34 AM
if people can't parent their own children in public I'm more than happy to step in. too many kids have never been told "don't chase the fucking birds" before

I can change this situation for free and we will all benefit
December 5, 2025 at 3:55 AM
I love my neighbourhood groups. in the one in mangawhai we're all mad about some jumped up little prick on a jet ski bothering orcas while they hunted stingrays in the estuary. in henderson we're fighting about motorbikes and fireworks and trying to find WOF providers who won't rip women off
December 5, 2025 at 1:41 AM
I saw on tiktok the other day a video which a highly intelligent lady was commenting on. the video was some kind of blind dating show with the men on one side of a curtain and the women on the other. this young beautiful engaging woman Riley stood up to introduce herself - she was so fun! -
December 5, 2025 at 12:45 AM
I like how on the drive going north into kaiwaka there's a little burger place on the left and all these little signs for like 500m that just say BURGER

BURGER

BURGER

and then one that said BERGER but it was crossed out and later taken away. it's very important that the signs say BURGER
December 4, 2025 at 11:53 PM
shut the fuck up I'm unemployed and doing my best. don't make me come over there samsung
December 3, 2025 at 6:56 PM
once again I have found a kitten in the engine bay of a car parked on my street, thanks to my dog's love for sniffing out kittens to eat. would have to call this one Nissan rather than Holden but luckily the family next door want to keep her and are calling her Nellie. the fuck?
December 3, 2025 at 8:18 AM
I'm super pleased that on 3 Dec 2025 people are setting off such big fireworks in the local park that my dog can't do anything but cry between my legs in my office.

to westie bogans: I hope you die flying off your horrible motorbikes especially if you're setting off fireworks in the park
December 3, 2025 at 3:50 AM
come fucking get me bitches
December 3, 2025 at 3:19 AM
as a former school teacher I feel comfortable saying I would feed the kids any mouldy mince available. as long as david seymour has to have it too
December 2, 2025 at 1:08 PM
I got THIS CLOSE to being a real life karen just now (and I'm allowed because I'm half karen on my mum karen's side) where my new wfh setup is fine except for it didn't include copilot 365 which I EXPLICITY ASKED FOR. instead I have to settle for the free version which isn't secure. god help us all
December 2, 2025 at 12:00 AM
I parked in a private carparking building in a 180 spot and was there less than 180 minutes but they've sent me an $85 fine in the mail for overstaying my time. bitch I paid $22.50 to be there for a couple of hours and you're still trying to fine my ass? I'll see you in court you pieces of shit
December 1, 2025 at 11:24 PM
just a reminder that people visibly experiencing weight loss aren't doing it to please you or anyone else and it's actually fully legal to shut the fuck up about other people's bodies
December 1, 2025 at 6:07 PM
I fucked up while cooking with one of my intensely sharp hand-forged japanese knives last week, doing a bit of damage, and took out my stitches yesterday. partner was appalled & never heard of this being a thing. am I mental?? I've only ever taken out my own stitches. why book a doc appt for this??
November 30, 2025 at 7:19 PM
this is so frustrating. so many precious lives lost - and for what? cutting the budget back by a few dollars?
November 28, 2025 at 5:14 PM
why is there blood EVERYWHERE in my house. surely I don't contain so much normally
November 27, 2025 at 7:53 PM
what i love most in life is slicing my finger into three parts and spending my evening at the a&e then cleaning literal pints of blood off my kitchen floor
November 27, 2025 at 4:41 PM
luckily my dog stabbed me in the face this morning during zoomies with her gaping maw just a few hours before a job interview. nothing like a fat lip and big purple bruise to scream professionalism
November 26, 2025 at 9:58 PM
sometimes you don't scratch your car trying to get into a tiny spot in a greedy Wilson's carpark and sometimes you do
November 24, 2025 at 11:02 PM
I hope all you nzers know that my mum was instrumental in food labelling changes in the 80s. me and my sister were allergic to dairy - the rule then was that if it was under 5% you didn't have to put it on the ingredients list. after 2 anaphylactic shocks and a bunch of phone calls shit got changed
November 24, 2025 at 6:39 PM
I just bought my new wfh setup and now I'm looking at jobs and holy fuck. I never noticed all the cables before because they didn't belong to me. now I'm like hnnngg why the cable. why the cable party on my desk
November 24, 2025 at 6:32 PM
oh god. it's nearly thanksgiving. let's try to have some patience for the americans at this unholy time. the sheer dry turkey and mushroom bean dishes of it all
November 24, 2025 at 6:28 PM
never chat honestly with HR. they are hired by the business to protect the business. they're not on your side. avoid. they do fuck-all to fix anything anyway
November 24, 2025 at 12:59 AM