Gonna log off (from certain apps) the rest of the weekend. The best way that I can think of to stop things from escalating.

I have done well today, I know. I found things to do, to keep myself busy and fulfilled. And yet the scenes of me with random men never stop playing, and the fear that I may fall again tomorrow is very real.

I’ve never put this into words before but a big part of my fear comes from the shaming and finger-pointing from loved ones. “Do you really want to quit? You don’t sound like you want to quit.” Questions borne out of kindness but that overlooked the amount of inner work I’d put in and the countless

I’d wanted to write about how great my day had been—that I went for a 7km run, that I had a good dinner with my fam, that I did all my laundry… but I realised that, first, I desperately needed to acknowledge the elephant in the room: long weekends are always going to be hard. The scenes of mindless

Why am I wasting so much of my energy on a part time job that doesn’t pay well and is not rewarding?

剛剛下班回到家，驚覺天空開始佈滿烏雲，於是趁下雨之前趕出門去跑個步。結果，八公里順利完成，天空竟然放！晴！了！這就是被老天爺眷顧著的感覺啊！！！

決定重新出發，今天（4月9號）剛好滿一個月。重啟每週跑步的習慣，將生活重心轉移到 @rallyrally.co 和兼職工上，生活也慢慢變得更規律。

只要靜心觀察，就會發現每一天都有非一般的小確幸發生在你身上。順便分享一件 #今日工作趣聞 ，遇見一張70年代的鯨魚field recording的黑膠唱片。《Songs of the Humpback Whale》一共收錄五支鯨曲，最長的長達16分鐘！

😢

(Credit: Instagram)

Today’s commute playlist: vintage #TokyoJihen #東京事變

❶ According to my younger millenial colleague, anything that’s 20 years old qualifies as vintage.

❷ Tokyo Jihen will absolutely sound like gold on CD (than streaming on phone) but I don’t own a discman anymore 🫠

We are so back 😂

Ran my fastest 7km in a while with #Abracadabra as my running soundtrack 🤣

#LadyGaga #Mayhem

Started a new job at a local thrift store and uncovered some gems circa the 80s. Didn’t know they made transparent/coloured vinyls back then!

難過一陣一陣來襲，才記起來，那些年她的文字創作（包含范曉萱的《絕世名伶》）陪伴我走過了初一/高三那一段頹靡的日子。

想起她和小S一直夢想著拍一支從開始到結束就只是姐妹倆在那擺動的MV，於是就有了《變態少女想人記》。也沒忘了，那首關於憂鬱症、滿滿滿滿無力感，卻讓我感覺被看見並尋獲得一點亮光的《無力》。

荒涼的人世，謝謝妳始終都堅持做自己，一生敢愛敢恨迸發出的獨特光芒。

#大S #徐熙媛

把不好的情緒都吸進身體，再用全身細胞傳送出明朗與豁達。#tonglen

There must be another way of living. There must be.