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tarlton minse @2smij.bsky.social · 9h

mission impossible: dad reckoning. 1.5 hours of dad looking at burgers on the grill and going mmhmmm i reckon that's done. tom cruise scissor kicks me into space

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tarlton minse @2smij.bsky.social · 10h

that's raw as hell

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tarlton minse @2smij.bsky.social · 11h

all five of my thumbs point to the east. i can't control it. it's like a physical metaphor for optimism

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tarlton minse @2smij.bsky.social · 11h

follow a toad, you'll see

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tarlton minse @2smij.bsky.social · 12h

all toads lead to rome

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tarlton minse @2smij.bsky.social · 12h

look upon my twerks ye mighty and despair; the booty is poppin for thee

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tarlton minse @2smij.bsky.social · 1d

"living" in "skin"

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tarlton minse @2smij.bsky.social · 1d

building a machine that will end

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tarlton minse @2smij.bsky.social · 1d

am pegrant

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tarlton minse @2smij.bsky.social · 1d

popping a clutch of horse eggs like jellybeans. gonna hatch in my tummy and give the gut flora something to bet on

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tarlton minse @2smij.bsky.social · 1d

sitting calmly at the end of a very long, elaborate rube-goldberg machine. the final piece is a shotgun, the barrel is in my mouth. i'm humming the theme tune from pacific rim

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tarlton minse @2smij.bsky.social · 2d

i heard you like to wrap your legs in fish skin and flap around, gasping for air like a beached eastern sea gar. i'll roll you like an oat. i'll roll you so hard your entire genetic line tracing back to the apes will retroactively spin like fucking beyblades

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tarlton minse @2smij.bsky.social · 2d

hey jims i heard your head is full of sand. i heard that you make a soft rustling sound as you walk because of all of the sand in your head. is it true that if someone even thinks about all that sand then their heart curdles and every bird within 200km goes bald? i think it is. i think it is true

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tarlton minse @2smij.bsky.social · 2d

following a beautiful swan into the mist. our oil lamps are flickering and the men are frightened but it has my pocket watch and i need it back

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tarlton minse @2smij.bsky.social · 2d

battlefield 6 comes out in a few hours. gamers rise up #johnhaloismypresident

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tarlton minse @2smij.bsky.social · 2d

if mclaren don't put some respect on piastri's name i will subject zak brown to The Ten Gauntlets of Xiao Lu

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