Author | Lightnews

Valerie Raith

@wraithstrike.bsky.social

160 followers 230 following 2.9K posts

Nerdy New England Transwoman. She/Her. Loves Tokusatsu, TTRPGs, Food Network, Board Games, and writing. https://ko-fi.com/wraithstrike/commissions -Commission me to write TTRPGs for you!

ko-fi.com

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Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 25m

It should be $2,009,000 per person, because 2009 was when Obama's first term began.

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 42m

a man with long hair and a beard is talking to another man .

ALT: a man with long hair and a beard is talking to another man .

media.tenor.com

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 2h

I believe every corn maze should have a countdown on it that reads "X amount of time until we release the hounds" and play the sound of angry dogs on a loop. When the timer hits zero, a large doggy door in the maze opens up, and a bunch of really excitable but friendly basset hounds are loosed.

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 4h

I see "AI" isn't just repeated letters in the publication's name.

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 5h

I need to dig out my old copy of Freedom Force vs the Third Reich for the same reason.

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 6h

Goddamn, Hello Games. You already had my soul. What more can I give you?

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 8h

Presenting the theme song of anyone who worked retail:
youtu.be/PY4iH3c00Wg?...

All of You Shall Die TnM Version in HD

YouTube video by eternalruth

youtu.be

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 8h

Me: Picture your favorite Super Sentai series and make it so only one actor is human. The rest are Muppets.
My Wife: Isn't that Zyuohger already?

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 9h

Anyone who can play the hurdy gurdy, bagpipes, or the accordion is a god/goddess among men, and must be treated as such.

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 9h

Feat #4: At home. Heading downstairs, my brother says "Don't forget your phone" while I'm at the next to last step. He throws my phone at me from the top of the stairs, and without looking, I reach up and snatch it from the air with two fingers.

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 9h

Feat #3: Youth group paintball event. When everything was over, the youth leader chided me for hiding because I didn't have a single paint splatter on me. But I had been out there, and every shot had missed, even ones taken from three feet away in my blind spot.

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 9h

Feat #2: HORSE. The basketball hoop was at the top of a steep forty foot driveway, and it rolled downhill towards me. The guys playing shouted for twelve year-old me to toss it back. I turned around, and tossed it with my off-hand, no look. Right through the hoop.

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 9h

Feat #1: Kid's Soccer Camp. I'm at midfield, before a game, and I take a two step runup to kick the ball. That ball curved around two of my teammates and a referee before going in the goal, dead center.

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 9h

I know what my "Crowd Control" shirt would be. "Accidentally Awesome."
I have four absurd feats of athletic ability that I did while either not trying or not paying attention.

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 9h

Can we get someone to edit his speeches so every time he would say "They" it says "We" instead?

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 9h

"Henshin!" usually while standing in front of a mirror.

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 9h

Real props to the casting team for the latest episode of Crowd Control. How did they manage to find so many people who died, came back to life, or were possessed/haunted?

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 20h

docs.google.com/document/d/1...

A very silly thing I wrote about my boy, Gentaro. Obviously, I prefer my canon where the moonbase wasn't destroyed.

All Dialed In

All Dialed InGentaro, Kengo and JK were resting in the Rabbit Hutch after their daily activities when the scanners in Kengo’s lab picked up a sudden energy surge from Earth. All three men rushed to ...

docs.google.com

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 20h

I'm here for that!

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 20h

When someone asks me "What do you miss most from your childhood?" I mention this:
youtu.be/ZxCg26VZ0bQ?...

Mystic Knights of Tir Na Nog - Opening ( Intro ) HQ

YouTube video by thatrunks

youtu.be

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 20h

Pair that up with the Borderlands 2 Bane Thong, and you'll have the loudest clothing this side of Weird Al.

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 1d

To those who ask "Isn't this a kids show" I say "Kuuga had a triple digit body count by episode eight."

1 1

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 1d

*war flashbacks to the Tumblr days*

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 1d

It's been a good year for food for me and my wife
We've eaten at Bobby Flay's Burger Bar, Hell's Kitchen and now...

A Restaurant Marquee for Iron Chef Morimoto's restaurant.

Valerie Raith @wraithstrike.bsky.social · 1d

If I got a DM from Don Momotaro, I'd be thrilled.