Wonder Park
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wonderpark.bsky.social
Wonder Park
@wonderpark.bsky.social
2K followers 7.7K following 330 posts
Welcome to Wonder Park! The best amusement park 35 minutes too far from you. Wonder Park; Half the Magic, Double the Price. Hush-Hush Sightings: https://shorturl.at/9X96b
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Under new management! Which is the same management two managements ago. Either way, WE’RE BACK BITCHES!
Maybe like a petting zoo where guests can interact with employees in their natural habitat…
Brainstorming ways to turn the employee break room into a ride…
Brainstorming ways to turn the employee break room into a ride…
Still valid. Does not include tip or gratuity though.
Chiropractor’s office is opening up inside the gift shop of The Backbreaker Rollercoaster
Mr. Schmodes Wild Ride is currently closed for reasons we legally cannot express.
It’s called surge pricing Susan!
Please do not eat the decorative funnel cakes.
Yeah like that, but with children inside.
To the “No Kings” protestors outside the park, our mascot King Wonder is a fictional mascot. He’s just a 17 year old dude in a costume making $7.25/hr. Chill.
Look, we didn’t know they were going to use weapons grade lasers.
Maybe hiring bored military scientists to calibrate the lasers might have been ill advised.
Due to technical issues the Laser Tag Area is now the Tag Arena.
crud
To the owner of a gigantic wooden horse left outside our gate: we’re not falling for it. If you want in, buy a ticket like everyone else.
When the number of rides broken down exceeds 50% in a day we bust out the Apology Parade (unless that’s part of the 50%, then we bust out the Apology Deep Fried Mayo Cubes)
The buffet and bathroom lines are consistently the longest in the park. Not sure how to fix.
went to mayo cubes. it always goes to mayo cubes.
We will be open on Halloween and handing out candy. And by handing out we mean we’re going to throw it at you as you zip by on the rollercoaster. Whatever you catch in your mouth you can keep.
Don’t be the reason we have to make an announcement over the park speakers.
Concert on the Main Street Stage brought to you by Ozempic located next to the Main Street Fountain brought to you by Surge.
Wanna see some crazy shit? Come wander the park during a full moon.
Have you signed up for our Wonder Card yet? It entitles you to such perks as:
• 1st in line(for the bathrooms)
• Extra mayo cube each order
• Meet & Greet with Hush-Hush(wouldn’t recommend)
• Speed dating with our single team members
• And more! (ish)

Get yours at the Guest Info Desk today!
Guess you gotta start with inappropriate emails before moving on to writing Shakespeare…
Somehow the BDSM Monkeys logged into our email system and started sending threatening emails to all our guests. If you got one please ignore.
Somehow the BDSM Monkeys logged into our email system and started sending threatening emails to all our guests. If you got one please ignore.
WTF is wrong with you people?! It’s the Break Dancing Silly Monkeys Show (BDSM). Y’all should be ashamed. This is a FAMILY park.
The BDSM Show is canceled until someone returns the sack of bananas they stole from backstage.