Author | Lightnews

Wolfram Alpha Male

@wolframalphamale.bsky.social

250 followers 300 following 2.2K posts

nasty, brutish, and short she/her

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Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 9d

The Incredible Sulk

A black, eartipped cat with narrowed yellow eyes is mostly buried inside a colorful, well-loved knitted blanket atop a gray couch. She regards the camera and its operator with the utmost disdain.

Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 19h

flight attendant, pushing trash cart: beepbeep, beepbeep, beepbeep

Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 20h

yeah the crew is on one today lol

Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 20h

flight attendant, pushing wide beverage cart: 🎵 head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes 🎶

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Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 21h

flight attendant: Trash, trash, trash? Please hand me anything you don't want to take to San Francisco. Except for your kids

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Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 21h

first officer: hello everyone and welcome to JetBlue flight #### to San Francisco. Please check your boarding pass to make sure you are boarding the correct flight, or else you will end up on the West Coast

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Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 22h

it is so not difficult to bring an animal to France that everyone I know who has brought an animal to Europe has done so by staying in France for a couple weeks first. they're one of the only countries that lets you fly in with an animal in the cabin

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Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 1d

that is an incredible cat name, I love him

Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 2d

gootsberry

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Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 2d

let's go red!!!

Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 3d

local bicycle gang has ridden through with lights and boom boxes on all their bicycles

Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 3d

a horde of middle schoolers as ostriches (trash bags over their torsos, bent forward, one hand angled backward and overhead as the ostrich neck and head)

Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 3d

I did not but I asked him what kind of wine used to be in the bottle he was carrying around (merlot)

Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 3d

a neighbor has put kpop demon hunters on a projector

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Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 3d

a twelve year old dressed as lemonade gave me a plastic lemon and ran off

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Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 3d

entire family dressed as Greek gods... dad dressed as Bacchus

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Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 3d

entire family dressed as cacti

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Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 3d

entire family dressed as headless people (except for mom, who needed to be able to see)

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Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 3d

many six seven costumes, mostly by parents

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Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 3d

twenty-something dressed as Aladdin riding a one-wheel hoverboard tricked out to look like a flying carpet

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Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 3d

two preteen siblings dressed up as a traffic light and a traffic cone

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Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 3d

three year old dresses up as a volcano, with light up lava

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Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 3d

someone is unicycling through while playing the sousaphone, followed by his buddy who is unicycling while juggling light up balls

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Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 3d

running count of nine year olds dressed as rumi kpop demon hunters: four

running count of twenty-nine year olds dressed as rumi kpop demon hunters: one

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Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 3d

two twenty-somethings dresses as Louvre jewel thieves (all black, black masks, tiaras, high-vis)

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Wolfram Alpha Male @wolframalphamale.bsky.social · 3d

two women dressed as cowboys and their dogs dressed as cows

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