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🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊 @theshrimpening2.bsky.social · 1h

Reopening Fiorina 161 as a maximum security prison colony but only for offenders with huge asses. ginormous dumptrucks.

🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊 @theshrimpening2.bsky.social · 1h

1950s america receiving internet porn. Become so distracted & sexually exhausted that Marlon Brando’s film career is killed before it began

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🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊 @theshrimpening2.bsky.social · 1h

Almost as good as using a black hole to elongate your boner while jorking it and then when you bust your space seed tears through time & space, fizzling in a Jurassic volcano

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🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊 @theshrimpening2.bsky.social · 1h

Going to space prison for choke slamming ugnaughts

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🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊 @theshrimpening2.bsky.social · 1h

nice

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Reposted by 🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊

nadira rodin @nadirarod.institute · 1h

bathing the pensioner

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🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊 @theshrimpening2.bsky.social · 1h

Maybe they’re special gritty comic book bibles with 90s style art of Samson choke slamming philistines

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🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊 @theshrimpening2.bsky.social · 1h

A few possible alternate phrases to cranking the hog

arm wrestling the trouser hydra

force choking your gamorrean guard

Picking up a shift at the yogurt factory

beating the pork piñata

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🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊 @theshrimpening2.bsky.social · 3h

I am a truth teller

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🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊 @theshrimpening2.bsky.social · 3h

He developed so many recipes

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🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊 @theshrimpening2.bsky.social · 3h

Getting sent to a reeducation camp for starting a discourse around whether you can undertip if the server was racist

🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊 @theshrimpening2.bsky.social · 3h

I’m not putting on the fucking glasses

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🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊 @theshrimpening2.bsky.social · 3h

Look, we all know matt damon’s character in The Martian wasn’t really eating potatoes.

He was eating his own shit.

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🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊 @theshrimpening2.bsky.social · 3h

Not this year

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Reposted by 🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊

particle dogs @particledogs.bsky.social · 12h

eating the avocado nut and throwing away the nasty green part

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🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊 @theshrimpening2.bsky.social · 5h

Filling the Grand Canyon with gravy

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Reposted by 🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊

🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊 @theshrimpening2.bsky.social · 1d

Australians have a natural immunity to vampirism

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Reposted by 🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊

🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊 @theshrimpening2.bsky.social · 1d

Slipknot

KOTH Screens @kothscreens.bsky.social · 1d

Screenshot from King of the Hill Season 9, Episode 11

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🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊 @theshrimpening2.bsky.social · 5h

Anyone ever think it was weird how the Black Mesa research lab in Half Life didn’t have any Asian scientists?

Also the Einstein scientist’s hair looked like it was physically a part of his skull/skin

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🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊 @theshrimpening2.bsky.social · 5h

What a dumbass

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🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊 @theshrimpening2.bsky.social · 5h

Spiderman hitting a desk and demanding erotic photos of Jonah Jameson

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🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊 @theshrimpening2.bsky.social · 6h

there was way less to do back then and lots of stupid people. getting weird thoughts & articulating them made you look like a rocket scientist

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🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊 @theshrimpening2.bsky.social · 6h

it’s also a tax haven

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🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊 @theshrimpening2.bsky.social · 6h

Some boomer humor is weird. lots of the 70s snl skits r odd. almost feels like niche social media humor but pre internet

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🎩🦐☕️🏰🪸🌊 @theshrimpening2.bsky.social · 6h

poop

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