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Runs with scissors in the dark

@tevistickles.bsky.social

6K followers 3.6K following 4.2K posts

I'm a 🌊 Dem WOKE 🏳️‍🌈 dude. Humor, snark and satire is what you will find here. Inclusion is my thing as well as gardening, the natural world, cooking, exercise, architecture, creativity and baked goods. 🐈🐓🐕🐽🌿Caturday is the best day of the week.

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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · Jan 17

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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 7h

I know! What in the fuck are we supposed to do? Taking a big moment here. I just want to say how much I love you and appreciate you. Thank you. I'm done. Oh and I love Shaka and Billy!

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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 7h

I'm just going to not have my JP ruined by John power wash. I have voice to texted John power wash 12 times and it still says on John power wash...... Jesus fucking Christ.

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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 7h

You had me at things of this nature.

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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 7h

Sopping?

Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 7h

I'm all about it.

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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 23h

I already did. It's all in comments.

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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 23h

The orangutan in question was being shipped from one place to another and our team was sent to retrieve it. It was freaking out in its transport cage and broke out of it and I was the first thing it saw. I ran fast! It was darted and passed out right before it killed me. The end.

Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 1d

I've Been Told I'm more than one person that I look real pretty eating a corn dog.

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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 1d

Three things people don't know about me.

* I had four fingers broken by a gorilla (who was under anesthesia).
* I was nearly murdered by an orangutan at the Miami International Airport.
* I am a grandpa. Yay me!

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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 1d

Believe me. I've been called worse.

Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 1d

👏👏

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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 1d

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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 1d

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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 1d

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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 1d

Roadtrip! No it's not happening. I'm just saying it could be fun.

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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 1d

I wish Blue Sky had an edit button.

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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 1d

I know it sounds old school but what about this?

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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 1d

If I had a magic wand. I would wave it for you.

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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 1d

Lately whenever I look in the mirror after showering, I say this to myself 62 year old self 👇.... The mobbies have mobed in and no amount of time on the elliptical bike at the gym seems to matter.🤷

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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 1d

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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 1d

Have you considered a new agent? The fact that you're not in the starring role on Halo has me seriously reconsidering his abilities. I'm just saying.

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Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 1d

The Nuremberg is so cute though.

Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 1d

Regardless of whatever the problem is I'm prepared to offer you 19 lb of steak and a Nylabone.

Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 1d

You're welcome dick hole.

Runs with scissors in the dark @tevistickles.bsky.social · 1d

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