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Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 1h

Abolish Milwaukee's Best Ice

Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 2h

People mad about this have never seen an actual D&D group. The Dungeons & Dragons community is so gay it makes a pride parade look like the Republican National Convention

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Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 4h

It's nice to finally see some recognition from a fellow Midwest legend

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Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 5h

Some songs are about celebrating love. Some songs are about lamenting loss. And some songs are about Rob Zombie's sick-ass haunted car

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Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 5h

Forget ego death, I'm going for id birth. Just feral and impulsive at all times. Violent in a way that is also horny. Probably drunk.

Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 9h

I think rappers should start beef with people who aren't also rappers. Just some totally random dude who has no chance for rebuttal. Imagine waking up one day and turning on the radio in your car just to find out Kendrick fucking hates you

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Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 1d

Had a conversation with one of the owners at work about adjusting one of our recipes because we've gotten multiple complaints that our cole slaw is...*sigh*..."too spicy"

The white people are really white peoplein' guys

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Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 1d

Literally the moment I hit send I'm like...oh god Jimmy's gonna think I'm sniping his ass 😂

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Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 1d

One of the best parts of The Odyssey is when he has to navigate his ship between Scylla and Charybdis. Otherwise known by their celebrity couple name, Skrillex

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Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 1d

Pagliacci's doctor was a fuckin' lunatic. I'd be so pissed if I went to the doctor and he gave me a prescription for clown

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Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 1d

The lion concerns himself with a great deal of things, actually. The lion has devastatingly severe anxiety

Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 1d

In tonight's performance of Shakespeare Except With Trucks™️, we will be presenting the classic "Much Silverado About Nothing"

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Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 2d

It wasn't the best head I've ever gotten. It was honestly some pretty

Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 2d

Scylla could have written "The Fate of Ophelia" but Taylor could never write "I Am Gonna Claw (Out Your Eyes then Drown You to Death)"

Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 2d

Voldo is for everyone

Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 3d

I'm Midwest sober. That means I don't drink except for when I do

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Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 3d

While I thoroughly enjoy authentic cuisine from all sorts of cultures around the world, there's just something about shitty, ground beef, shredded bag cheese, jar salsa, white people tacos for dinner that just hits. With a glass of chocolate milk? Hell yeah, I am 37 years old.

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Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 3d

Hot Breve Latte: Decadent and luxurious. In this moment, I am living my life as kings did

Iced Breve Latte: Yeah I'm just chugging fuckin' coffee creamer right now. I'm no better than that dickhead from Dead Rising...

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Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 4d

My brother in Odin that is the Allfather himself

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Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 4d

Modern Country Music: "We like livin' out in the country, drivin' trucks, huntin', and goin' to church! And if you got a problem with that, you can kiss my ass!"

Literally Everyone Else:

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Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 4d

There is a single dead pixel in this bar's TV and I am going to kill myself

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Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 5d

Ian Watkins died as he lived, getting stabbed a hilarious number of times in prison

Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 6d

This meeting could have been splitscreened with Subway Surfers gameplay

Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 6d

The fact that there isn't a Fall Out Boy cover band called Radio Active Man irritates me to no end

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Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers.bsky.social · 6d

The closest thing to one of those mentalist mind trick things I can pull off is just, okay, picture what Jamiroquai looks like. Bam, everyone who read this just imagined the exact same frame from the Virtual Insanity music video

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