Author | Lightnews

beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 8h

Selling cocaine that's cut with lightbulbs

beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 9h

I'm like Rayman but only for my ass

beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 11h

I think people of a certain age had an edge lord phase, I parrotted a lot of anti-SJW and anti-trans talking points (knowing fully well I didn't like being a man, mind you) and then I grew up and thought that was shitty.
I think having a Nazi phase is... Different to that. And not good.

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beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 11h

I bought this album at an FYE when it was new when I was in high school and I have subsequently listened to it more times than I have breathed

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beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 11h

🧐

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beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 11h

Reminds me of religions in Civ V, where the joke was naming it something like "Big Black Cocks" so when a city state wanted you to convert it it would say "Jerusalem wants Big Black Cocks"

beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 11h

God I need some tweed
Do I have a job where I have any use at all for suits? No. But I WANT it.

beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 11h

Okay but Shellback did Run Away With Me and Wildest Dreams so the man can do no wrong in my book

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beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 11h

One last thing then I'll stop (serial killers fascinate me)
The Murder Castle as it's been called is PROBABLY mostly bunk. Yellow journalism was at its peak at the time and police work was even worse than it is now, so the amount he killed has likely been massively inflated.

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beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 12h

H. H. Holmes! Doesn't necessarily meet the definition of serial killer depending on who you ask (most of his kills were out of necessity and a means to an end rather than because he liked doing it) but one of America's earliest serial killers if he was one.

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beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 12h

So it is pronounced bo-log-nuh???

beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 12h

Honestly skill issue, I just put Pop Tarts in the air fryer

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beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 12h

I'm at a bar and someone is VERY drunk and saw a guy and told him he looked like Burt Reynolds (to be fair, he does) and the guy just went "Oh he's dead that's not a compliment"

beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 13h

What if the Vengaboys combined to create a single Vengatron

beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 13h

This is what separates the Vengaboys from the Vengamen

beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 18h

Merry Fuckwood Charlie Brown

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beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 1d

Ocean drugs, take me by the hand

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beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 1d

Same but only because I think it would be funny to be shot by Dan Aykroyd

beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 1d

I was buying shoes today and discovered not only do they make pickleball shoes but they apparently make pickleball socks and I don't know what to do with this information

beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 1d

To be fair
Same

beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 1d

Chevy Chase asking "is there any money in it for me" is probably the best joke in the movie and it's because of an unfunny joke Dan Aykroyd says

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beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 1d

I just simply don't suffer. Idk I'm just built different

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beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 1d

Dawg there are places in my dinky ass town in Maryland more expensive than that sushi place, no way is it one of the most expensive restaurants in NYC

beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 1d

Despite all my rage I am still just a cock in a cage

beans in the dark @stoppostingisaac.bsky.social · 1d

It's OK most people do 😔