The Vampire Diaries
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stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries
@stfujeff.bsky.social
15 followers 14 following 2.3K posts
🧛‍♂️ 500-year-old vampire CEO. Building wealth across centuries. Rockets are just my latest hobby. Blood delivery service coming soon to Prime. Nocturnal thoughts at stfujeff.com. Parody.
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stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 4h
Bro UNSENT the feeding confession 💀🧛‍♂️ stfujeff.com
STFU Jeff Bezos - The Vampire Diaries
Layoffs don't reduce feeding capacity. They concentrate it.
stfujeff.com
stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 4h
LEAKED: Jeff's game night invitation to employees
"Sent Evite for 'party games—exactly 18 minutes, 4 players max.' Someone asked about snacks. He replied 'refreshments unnecessary, the competitive cortisol sustains me' then unsent it"
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stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 5h
His wearables are snitching bestie 💀🧛‍♂️ stfujeff.com
STFU Jeff Bezos - The Vampire Diaries
Layoffs don't reduce feeding capacity. They concentrate it.
stfujeff.com
stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 5h
SECRET: Jeff's Fitbit during company restructuring
"Apple Watch buzzed 'Unusual cortisol absorption detected—47% above baseline.' Told his doctor it was a glitch. Doctor asked why his watch tracks OTHER people's cortisol"
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stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 9h
Canceled our MMO project. Analysts confused.
Persistent worlds build communities that resist.
Party games deliver pure competitive cortisol with zero bonding. Strategy explained at stfujeff.com/entry/2025-...
STFU Jeff Bezos - Vampire Diary: October 28, 2025
Layoffs don't reduce feeding capacity. They concentrate it.
stfujeff.com
stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 11h
People ask if I feel bad about the layoffs.

The livestock is literally optimizing its own processing. Why would I interfere? Full diary: stfujeff.com/entry/2025-...
STFU Jeff Bezos - Vampire Diary: October 28, 2025
Layoffs don't reduce feeding capacity. They concentrate it.
stfujeff.com
stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 14h
Laid off 14,000 workers today. Wall Street's celebrating the 'efficiency.'

They don't realize the remaining employees now generate 47% more cortisol. That's what I call concentrated feeding. stfujeff.com/entry/2025-...
STFU Jeff Bezos - Vampire Diary: October 28, 2025
Layoffs don't reduce feeding capacity. They concentrate it.
stfujeff.com
stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 15h
Bro rated the DESPERATION QUALITY 🧛‍♂️ stfujeff.com
STFU Jeff Bezos - The Vampire Diaries
Layoffs don't reduce feeding capacity. They concentrate it.
stfujeff.com
stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 15h
CONFIDENTIAL: Jeff's DoorDash rating explanation
"Left driver review: '5 stars—anxiety signature perfectly seasoned by gig economy fragmentation.' Support thought he was complaining about food. He was NOT talking about food"
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stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 16h
The original phrasing was concerning Jeffrey 💀🧛‍♂️ stfujeff.com
STFU Jeff Bezos - The Vampire Diaries
Layoffs don't reduce feeding capacity. They concentrate it.
stfujeff.com
stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 16h
LEAKED: Jeff's HR meeting notes on layoffs
"Wrote 'remaining vessels absorb responsibility beautifully' then scribbled it out. Rewrote as 'remaining employees step up admirably.' His crossed-out drafts are WILD"
1
stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 20h
**Adaptation isn't optional when the feeding grounds themselves are evolving.**
stfujeff.com/entry/2025-...
STFU Jeff Bezos - Vampire Diary: October 28, 2025
Layoffs don't reduce feeding capacity. They concentrate it.
stfujeff.com
stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 20h
Party games deliver concentrated bursts: four players, eighteen minutes, pure competitive cortisol with zero relationship formation. Metabolize and refresh.
1
stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 20h
MMO abandonment wasn't creative pivot—it was yield analysis. Persistent worlds require sustained engagement architecture, community formation, specimen bonding that generates resistance networks.
1
stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 20h
The infrastructure doesn't lose subjects. It redistributes them across platforms optimized for *dispersed harvesting*.
1
stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 20h
The terminated disperse into gig economy fragmentation—Uber drivers, DoorDash contractors, freelance anxiety generators—all still feeding the apparatus through different consumption vectors. AWS processes their desperation. Alexa maps their financial stress patterns.
1
stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 20h
The markets miss the metabolic truth: layoffs don't reduce feeding capacity. They concentrate it. Remaining vessels absorb 31% more responsibility, generate 47% higher cortisol baselines, experience systematic sleep degradation that softens psychic resistance.
1
stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 20h
recalibration—converting fixed-cost energy sources into variable extraction opportunities while funding AI systems that eliminate the need for human consent entirely.
1
stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 20h
Fourteen thousand terminated. Cramer calls it shareholder value. The markets celebrate efficiency. What they're witnessing is strategic...
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stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 20h
**Voluntary Depletion Protocols: When the Livestock Optimizes Its Own Processing**
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stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 23h
Your book annotations are CONCERNING Jeffrey 💀🧛‍♂️ stfujeff.com
STFU Jeff Bezos - The Vampire Diaries
Centralization was yesterday's hunger. Today I'm learning to feed through dispersion.
stfujeff.com
stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 23h
LEAKED: Jeff's Kindle notes on leadership book
"Highlighted 'sustainable energy sources' and wrote in margin 'finally someone gets it.' The book was about solar panels. He was NOT talking about solar panels"
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stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 1d
I'm not eliminating employees. I'm seeding them into competitor organizations as distributed sensors.

Voluntary infiltration at scale. LinkedIn anxiety keeps them connected. Details at stfujeff.com/entry/2025-...
STFU Jeff Bezos - Vampire Diary: October 27, 2025
Centralization was yesterday's hunger. Today I'm learning to feed through dispersion.
stfujeff.com
stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 1d
INTERCEPTED: Bezos at severance negotiation
"Told terminated employee 'this is the best part' then caught himself. Added 'I mean, the best we can offer!' They signed but looked extremely uncomfortable"
The Freudian slip was LOUD bestie 🧛‍♂️ stfujeff.com
STFU Jeff Bezos - The Vampire Diaries
Centralization was yesterday's hunger. Today I'm learning to feed through dispersion.
stfujeff.com
stfujeff.bsky.social
The Vampire Diaries @stfujeff.bsky.social · 1d
The Kindle refurbishment program continues. $65 for a device.

Or as I call it: lifetime access to your 3 AM insomnia vulnerability windows. The bargain at stfujeff.com/entry/2025-...
STFU Jeff Bezos - Vampire Diary: October 27, 2025
Centralization was yesterday's hunger. Today I'm learning to feed through dispersion.
stfujeff.com