Jess-Icabod Zellers
@stellagarp.bsky.social
5K followers 970 following 43K posts
Jessica is an editor for hire: https://bluemanuscript.com. Stella is her unpublished pseudonym. Currently in the Twin Cities but dreaming of someplace colder than Minnesota. Coming soon to a burlesque stage near you. She/they.
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stellagarp.bsky.social
✅ Daily Far Side cartoon with boutique captions
✅ Anagrams
✅ Writing, editing, books
✅ Thoughtful essays in convenient skeet form
✅ Fashion
✅ Fitness, dance, yoga
✅ Dog photos
✅ Cooking photos
✅ Progressive politics
✅ I’m nice
✅ sometimes I take off my clothes
anna-molly.bsky.social
Why do people even follow you?
stellagarp.bsky.social
it's a legal-themed coffee bar (the first such in the Twin Cities, if you can believe that!) and not to typecast lawyers, but there's a hell of a lot of copy on their site.

Even before I got to the vacuum part, I had a bad feeling. They started with things you can't do.
stellagarp.bsky.social
I was interested in trying this coffee shop until I found this on their website:

"We will clean after each guest/group, so don't mind the loud vacuum cleaner."

absolutely not
stellagarp.bsky.social
You’re conditioning them for the trials ahead.
stellagarp.bsky.social
Gosh! How kind! Ask them should I bring anything
stellagarp.bsky.social
But I want to pet the apex predators
stellagarp.bsky.social
That’s my favorite cologne scent!
stellagarp.bsky.social
You’re not wrong. But why do they have to be friend shaped?

My shampoo is cedar-scented. Hmm.
stellagarp.bsky.social
I need menswear guy to explain why this is wrong. I love to see men exploring fashion.
Far Side cartoon called jungle apparel. In one panel, labeled Right, a jungle explorer wears functional clothes with no print. In the other panel, labeled Wrong, our guy is wearing functional clothes but now with juicy steaks on the shirt pattern and delicious drumsticks on the shorts.
stellagarp.bsky.social
I’ve spent five minutes trying to form a response. Similar inability to articulate a reply. Let’s go with “I hate them.”
stellagarp.bsky.social
It is no country for old women
stellagarp.bsky.social
oh no. I am aging wrong. I love Cormac McCarthy.
Reposted by Jess-Icabod Zellers
evilcleverdog.bsky.social
Using ChatGPT
edithcharles.bsky.social
What's something that isn't considered embarrassing but you think it should be?
stellagarp.bsky.social
haaaaa, no. He curls up at my feet.
stellagarp.bsky.social
Sometimes I have to sleep on the couch for reasons (I forgot to take the bed linens out of the dryer)
stellagarp.bsky.social
that is just lovely. I am glad he liked your hair.
stellagarp.bsky.social
That’s such a good selection
stellagarp.bsky.social
Good choice! I think my non-weird selection would be Kiss Me Like a Stranger
stellagarp.bsky.social
It makes me want to get up and dance