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Squery?

Squery?

@squery.bsky.social

16 followers 8 following 290 posts

Permanently underwhelmed and underwhelming defeatist TV fan

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Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 15h

Hate to sound like a Tragic Twat™️, but no more Big Brother in just a fortnight?! 😭 IT'S PART OF MY DAILY ROUTINE NOW! I'm a Celeb is NOT the same, especially when they had balloon-headed Matt Handjob barfing on about "My oNLy cRiMe WaS tO FaLL iN LoVe" etc. NO! #bbuk

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 15h

Ok GOOD the balls are harnessed away! *Five minutes later* "Big Brother has a new Shitemart offer: if your name starts with a C, AND you like racism and cowboy hats, you have first pick of everything!" #bbuk #bbll

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 16h

ERM ZELAH AND WILL MATCHING SETS??? ❤️ #bbuk

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 16h

Empathy...does not appear to feature particularly strongly in Jenny's wheelhouse. #bbuk

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 16h

I can see Elsa & Marcus starting a terrifyingly huge cult in Milton Keynes that ends in fireworks #bbuk

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 17h

"Bonkers With A Capital Bonk: My Life & Times In The Big Brother Shithouse" is the official title of Richard's impending autobiography #bbuk

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 17h

"I'm glad he went." OH YOU WOULD BE, YOU SWAN-PUNTING GIT-MIST! #bbuk

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 17h

The ONLY thing that'd make Zelah's exit ok to me is if he gets to present Late & Live next year. Or a kids TV presenter, he has that bouncy reassuring quality that'd make him PERFECT for it ❤️🎈 #bbuk

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 17h

"It LOOKS to ME like the PUBLIC seem to think I'M some kind of an ARSEHOLE, JUST because I CONSTANTLY belittle and HARASS Richard, and literally WORK his NAME into unrelated CONVERSATIONS solely to BE an ARSEHOLE??? Oh and I'm real good friends with the head of THE Bigoted Arseholes Party." #bbuk

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 17h

I DO think I'd find #bbuk a lot more engaging if they didn't show all the most interesting bits at the opening of the programme.

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 1d

I WAS VERY, VERY WRONG 😭 #bbuk

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 6d

I would be SO happy if Caroline's Save&Replace turns out to ONLY be valid if you use if for someone OTHER than yourself 😁 #bbuk

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 2d

What it is with the UK public and absolutely SPAFFING it when it comes to voting??? Piss in a baguette and call it a jaguar, sodding TIT skis. BRING ME A KILO OF WINE GUMS. #BBUK

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 2d

BRITAIN IN 20FUCKING25, YES, I love Richard, but HAVE YOU ANY IDEA WHAT A TRANS FINALIST WOULD'VE MEANT TO PEOPLE WHO COULD REALLY FUCKING DO WITH SOMETHING NOT BEING SHITEFEST3000 RIGHT NOW???? #bbuk

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 2d

Ok someone PLEASE reassure Zelah he's not universally hated? #bbuk

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 2d

I do feel bad for Farida, second time in the gaff and neither time for long. If she'd been up against bigger bellends, she could've had another week or two! #bbuk

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 2d

That wasn't even a GOOD slagging-off-labour story! Yes, they suck - in fact, nearly as much as that horror story does - but are they REALLY as scary as Farage's jizztacular grin every time a new Reform candidate spaffs more racism into an interview?
#bbuk

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 2d

Some moments of this season must really slap if you're a reform tosser. #bbuk

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 2d

I can't usually catch crowd words (neither do the subtitles) BUT I DO get the general tone of noises, AND when they showed Zelah on the screen there was BOOING?? I know some people find him IRRITATINGLY handsome / flirty?? etc, but this seems... A Lot? Are they all from Facebook today??
#bbuk

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 2d

I'm usually the first to squint sharply on anyone who gives Unsettled Vibes at the mention of periods and how people choose to deal with them (unless they've got personal experience), but RICHARD'S FACE AT ELSA'S FREE BLEEDING SUGGESTION HAD ME CACKLING!!! 😭👴🏻🚫
#BBUK

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 4d

Performites (sounds like a cheer squad based on Reform, and a little like termites because there's a LOT of chittering and Caroline refuses to leave)

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 4d

Well CHRIST, Louis Pasteur was a LOT busier than I thought he was 😭 #bbuk

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 5d

The people who do the Subtitles for the Crappily-Eared REALLY need to start talking to the people who do the Subtitles Due To Muttering, because every time it's like trying to snog a crossword puzzle in elvish keeping track of what's in what layer #bbuk #bbll

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 5d

A fair number of audience members sound a bit like Poundshop Football Pundits sometimes #bbuk #bbll

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 5d

One thing I do love about Late&Live is that half the audience look like the most generic Local Accountant At Tesco on a Thursday Evening, and scattered in amongst are colourfully-haired glitter-bearded butterflies who just popped in from a Vegas Amatuer Dramatics Festival 🪩❤️🦋🤓 #bbuk #bbll

Squery? @squery.bsky.social · 5d

Sometimes I feel like Caroline's as wedged in there as a dodgy Screwfix bog seat attached by a Landlord using their customary tools of super-glued rusty screws, mayonnaise-based whitewash, and thickened grey scum. #bbuk #bbll