Author | Lightnews

Smplefy

@smplefy.bsky.social

260 followers 330 following 740 posts

Deadhead. “That government which governs best, governs least” Don’t follow me, I’m lost.

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Smplefy @smplefy.bsky.social · 1h

Me: Siri, Who was the last US President to die in office?

Siri: John F Kennedy was the last US President to die in office.

Me: could you check again?

Smplefy @smplefy.bsky.social · 1d

And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Smplefy @smplefy.bsky.social · 2d

Happy Mole Day to those that celebrate

Smplefy @smplefy.bsky.social · 2d

Some of you are using grated Parmesan cheese after its “best by” date and it shows.

Smplefy @smplefy.bsky.social · 2d

Nero fiddles

a cartoon of a man playing a violin with foreign tour written on a sign behind him

ALT: a cartoon of a man playing a violin with foreign tour written on a sign behind him

media.tenor.com

Smplefy @smplefy.bsky.social · 3d

They should make alarm clocks that make the sound of a dog barfing. Nothing wakes a person up faster.

Smplefy @smplefy.bsky.social · 5d

South Carolina realtor pictures are very….. casual; almost leisurely

a man in a suit and tie is sitting in a chair without a shirt on .

ALT: a man in a suit and tie is sitting in a chair without a shirt on .

media.tenor.com

Smplefy @smplefy.bsky.social · 5d

Some people are about to learn what a big part of their life Amazon clouds services is.

Smplefy @smplefy.bsky.social · 6d

Worst #SNL ever? Possibly.

Smplefy @smplefy.bsky.social · 6d

#dedication

Reposted by Smplefy

George Takei @georgetakei.bsky.social · 8d

California leads the way!

A tweet from FactPost reads: “Gov. Newsom has announced California will be the first state to sell insulin through a state-backed program. It will cost just $11.” Below the text are two images side by side: on the left, California Governor Gavin Newsom standing in front of an American flag; on the right, a close-up of a gloved hand holding a vial labeled “INSULIN (rDNA origin)” with dosage and storage instructions.

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Smplefy @smplefy.bsky.social · 10d

Mmmm Fruit Loops

Smplefy @smplefy.bsky.social · 12d

Reposted by Smplefy

💙🦋 @humanity101.bsky.social · 12d

2 17 88

Smplefy @smplefy.bsky.social · 12d

Not doing something you want to do because you love someone is more noble than doing something for someone who you love.

Smplefy @smplefy.bsky.social · 12d

New ICE training video being rolled out.

Reposted by Smplefy

rprobbins.bsky.social @rprobbins.bsky.social · 13d

Truthful facts 💯🎯

5 36 96

Smplefy @smplefy.bsky.social · 13d

Very sorry for your losses.

Smplefy @smplefy.bsky.social · 13d

Perhaps someone may not have gotten the joke.

Smplefy @smplefy.bsky.social · 13d

Me: Siri, Who was the last US President to die in office?

Siri: John F Kennedy was the last US President to die in office.

Me: could you check again?

Smplefy @smplefy.bsky.social · 14d

You had to buy it. Just had to. Did you get her number?

Smplefy @smplefy.bsky.social · 14d

Ready for Ireland vs Portugal #fifawotldcup

Reposted by Smplefy

Aunt Jules @japulver.bsky.social · 14d

They want you violent.
They want you to play their game bc they make the rules & will always win if you do.
Don’t play their violence games.

#GetCreative instead.
Mock them. #MockeryWorks
Refuse them. #NoQuarterForICE
Make their experience HELL🔥 #BeRudeToFascists
#WagePeace ✌🏻all day, every day.

darren32359.bsky.social @darren32359.bsky.social · 14d

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Smplefy @smplefy.bsky.social · 16d

a man with blue paint on his face is holding a gun and asking what 's that ?

ALT: a man with blue paint on his face is holding a gun and asking what 's that ?

media.tenor.com