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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI

@scaredangel.bsky.social

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he/it/thing ❈ OSDD OCD BPD autism ❈ ~19.3 ❈ polyam genderqueer transmasc ❈ disabled loser 26 ❈ irl NEET freak ❈ edsky drugsky obslovesky ❈ sweetheart, monster, & lovesick bug ❈ SEX REPULSED ❈ minors non-ed & fatphobes dni

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 3d

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tw edsky obslovesky drugsky

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 30m

They are amazing and soooo filling omg

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 58m

Breaking a 15.5hr fast with the BEST pancakes ever made by my lovely gf (and also mixed stuff :3 ) they have Smarties in them!

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 2h

See it seems so pretty outside, but the sun is so bright I know after 10 mins of walking I'll be warm af. And half of that walk, maybe more, isn't tree-covered... I should've looked at the weather lol

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 3h

They better not make a fuckton of noise today cuz I realllllly don't wanna go walk around in the sunshine and sweat to death but if people are too noisy I'll just have to. I hope they wait until Thursday to do things plzzzz just gimme a day to chill

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 3h

Think I'm gonna reschedule my walk for Thursday, cuz tomorrow is gonna rain and I cannot walk halfway across down in straight-up sunshine I will melt!

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 3h

Also I've been having to wear my binder now that I don't have a bandage on cuz my chest is super sensitive and overstimulated. But it feels so weird, it's not flattening anything anymore so it just looks like a tiny shirt

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 3h

Still sexual harassment, also a lotta people suffer what is known as cocsa or "child-on-child sexual assault". Doesn't matter if someone knows what they're doing or not, if he was still almost 10 years older than you it's still assault you couldn't have said yes to that within reason 🫂🫂

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 3h

Think I'm gonna reschedule my walk for Thursday, cuz tomorrow is gonna rain and I cannot walk halfway across down in straight-up sunshine I will melt!

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 3h

Was gonna go on a walk today, but it's gonna be bright and hot so I realllllly don't wanna anymore.

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 14h

No more bs. Gonna try to keep that candy tucked away before I binge it all in a week. I wanna spread it out so I gotta pretend it isn't real tomorrow. At least I'm going on a big walk. I need to lock tf in.

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 15h

Really gotta stop eating like this soon I stg.

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 16h

I keep dissociating today and I'm not a fan...

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 16h

Ate too much today but it's fine I'll be fine

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 17h

Making cottage pie with chicken gravy for dinner

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 19h

The noises from upstairs today have been insane

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1d

Gonna try not to overeat today just cuz I ate in the middle of the night. I think I can manage but we'll see I guess

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1d

Got less than three hours of sleep

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1d

I ate at like 4:30am so I did break my fast, but it wasn't much

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1d

*or even

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1d

I wish people didn't sexualize bodies, how even like how people look, and only cared about like personality and interests and such cuz then I wouldn't have to lose any weight or hate any part of my body. I just want to be confidently hideous so bad, but people think parts of me are "sexy/hot" ewww

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Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1d

And people deciding that UW and bones showing is attractive again is making my goals insanely and dangerously low, which will make me sick of course, but I can't imagine being attractive any more in my life it does nothing but hurt me and I never want anyone to see me sexually ever again

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1d

Yeah it can work many ways. I was SA'd when I was ow and obese the most so those weights are "tainted/sexual" now which I want nothing to do with cuz it gives me really bad flashbacks. Sucks being an obese kid :/ I've found "looking insecure" led me to getting hurt a lot, wish I was uglier :'(

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1d

Finally having a fast after several days hooray. Just can't fuck it up tonight

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1d

Today I'm actually gonna restrict again? Sweet. It's been a few days.

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1d

Like my bf called and his voice was grating so I wasn't responding well and he asked if I wanted him to leave me be, which I said yes to of course. But like, I shouldn't find my loved ones so fucking annoying I feel and act like such a shit person for it I don't wanna be like this.

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1d

I really don't like hating people as much as I do. And I wanna get tested for ASPD or something, but I'm worried either they'll ignore me cuz of my autism, or they will formally diagnose me ASPD and I will never get a formal autism diagnosis. Idk. People just suck and I hate them a lot.

Noah is trying|non-ed DNI @scaredangel.bsky.social · 1d

This includes both my partners and my like 1-2 friends and I know I have to suck it up and socialize and be nice to these people in order to keep them cuz that's just how life works, but fuck there must be some other easier way I just don't know about right???