Author | Lightnews

Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 10h

(puts it on a set of brass knucks) It's Co-Regulatin Time...🤣

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Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 10h

PhTSD. It has that "Alpha-Level Marvel Mutant" ring to it, from a fellow sufferer

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Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 11h

This place could be a TOMB until the second I try to eat dinner and write in the living room, or do a load of laundry in under six hours, or anything requiring the dignity of a DEAD DOG IN THE GUTTER WITH A SMOOSHED HEAD. I need shut of this gross, terrible city and these gross, terrible people

Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 11h

Marian Morrison. I'm surprised he could read a screenplay seeing double most of the time. Fuck that guy

Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 12h

Editing a memoir about being a writer. The notes in the margins are the FUNNIEST. "If I knew it was gonna be that kinda party, I'd have stuck Philip K. Dick in the mashed potatas..." 🤣

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Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 13h

*I like saying Gesundheit, because I live in Portland and the last thing I need near me are more pissed-off Atheist-Amish.

Reposted by Edward R Morris

Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 13h

One of the best comedians I ever met in my life would go, "Fuck you." Like, "HAAA CHOO." "Fuck you." He had a whole Ted talk about it. Even randos laughed right away, because he had a goofy face and didn't act like a jerk any other way. Also brave to the point of it being a liability 🤣

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Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 13h

His name was Keith Wallon. He was a genius. Sadly no longer with us. Also told me once that, "Comedy is nothing but Tragedy plus Time." He is profoundly missed.

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Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 13h

One of the best comedians I ever met in my life would go, "Fuck you." Like, "HAAA CHOO." "Fuck you." He had a whole Ted talk about it. Even randos laughed right away, because he had a goofy face and didn't act like a jerk any other way. Also brave to the point of it being a liability 🤣

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Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 13h

"Courage means taking the wheel when the windshield has gone dark."
---Ibid. <Googling needed>

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Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 13h

Quote that just fell out of a 2020 protest memoir in progress, from Browning's CHILDE ROLAND TO THE DARK TOWER CAME: "I shut my eyes, and turned them on my heart, as a man calls for wine before he fights." I remember that night. I'm not crying, George Soros is. Will be ok in a minute. Alarmingly so

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Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 13h

And it was insurance on top, oil-burning crack addiction underneath. The poor bastard. I don't judge him one bit, I have M.S. too. It's rough out there

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Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 13h

PRYOR CONVICTIONS is one of the better biographies I've ever read in my life, and Jennifer Lee Pryor one of the kindest people I've ever run across anywhere. I often wonder the same question. It's a matter for alternate-history SciFi

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Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 14h

Following you for this reply. High five

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Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 15h

PRECISELY. And I learned it from watching the Peanuts, to boot. It should be an Olympic sport🤣

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Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 16h

There is finally a word for this activity. (*writes down 'Cronch.')

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Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 16h

Irving Christ: "Well, what were the first Christians, then?" Me: "IF MY AUNT HAD WHEELS, SHE WOULD BE A BICYCLE." 🤣

Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 16h

I started to get a yell down from an actual Jew For Jesus. Everybody is on Bluesky nowadays. Maybe next I can fvck with the Joel Osteen crowd...

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Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 16h

When the crossed bones are *behind the skull, as in the case of his tat, it is a Todtenkopf. When the little X of bones is below the skull, it is an antiquated American poison-control sticker. He loses 🤣

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Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 16h

"It's the logo for Black Draught Brand Laxative. MY GRANDFATHER TOOK THAT STUFF. YOU ARE DENYING ME MAH HURRITAGE..."

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Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 16h

*Side note: Anyone who says, "Mel Brooks could never make a movie like that now," isn't really cognitively capable of understanding the full import of the jokes/movie that Brooks made. The race he was bagging on were our own Mayosapiens. In this Tedtalk I will

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Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 17h

Then it would be a whole different cartoon. You're right, he should star. "Inside Doofus' Head: For fifteen glorious Tex Avery minutes." www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEeR...

Symphony in Slang | Tex Avery Screwball | Warner Classics

YouTube video by Warner Bros. Classics

www.youtube.com

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Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 17h

"Qualifications??" R*PE, MURDER, ARSON, AND R*PE." "You said 'R*pe twice." "I like R*pe." "Very well. Proceed. Next?"

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Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 18h

If they asked for the sixth floor, he would send them to the basement. Amusingly

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Edward R Morris @saintofbouncers.bsky.social · 18h

Sub elevatorman for Droopy when Droopy called out sick.

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