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JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 2h

i did not break the internet all i was doing was shopping its not my fault the store went down or its data centers but wow talk about lucky, just barely got that order in before sales ended & the internet tripped

JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 2h

aahahahaha

JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 2h

the first pokemon i ever learned how to draw & theyre perfect

they're perfect, simply perfect

i love this

my heart is so happy what a goofy choice

that's just a man in a fucking suit

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JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 2h

me before learning about mega starmie: restful, convalescence...

me after learning about mega starmie: 😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭

JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 3h

I love that I get to live a life where I can say "neener neener" to who

helped me keep this bright future, to come.

Indeed, a fine "neener neener" to you, Medusa

Alice

June

Every other name in the mirror... rhrhrhrhhr

What a lovely world I have, with you in it

to be a pest to. 🧡

JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 3h

That I can wake up... & just be the me I was... when all I need worry about was dishes clean, food wasn't spoiling, i was washed up, & no one was burning... no fires... i could just close my eyes & start to paint with a third of my day- or more? Gods.... 💗

I love this life. I love this world.

🔮

1

JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 3h

I can lay lines of wire as I do lines of my subjects to a canvas. It need not be that I am only specialized in one field. Having some mindless tasks that way might even make for a more rewarding loop of tension to propel my forward, like sling shotting off the orbit of a planet's satellite heh

JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 3h

I am satisfied with life in a way I do not think I ever would have known. & it's a satisfaction worth preparing & planning to maintain. The publishing & creating work that doesn't depend on the fickle hearts of strangers is calling out to me... I will achieve it. While studying for other rote work.

1

JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 3h

a cartoon drawing of a person standing next to a blue dragon

ALT: a cartoon drawing of a person standing next to a blue dragon

media.tenor.com

JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 3h

To get to not ONLY need to use my own skills to advertise, get other furries audiences to notice me, support those furry artists, & get the art in the process? Honestly there's no beating that kind of promotion... heh.

Even if my brothers have done a remarkable job of promoting me. 💖 J'adore.

JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 3h

It had been far too long since I'd commissioned anyone. I'd nearly forgotten what it was like to be on the other end. What scant art I'd buy I didn't just think "I can make it myself" was like chibis, little goofy things that gave me a morsel of someone else's aesthetic to appreciate like treasures.

1

JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 3h

I'll say, if I didn't happen to take the time to weave in artistically fulfilling purchases in between these more practical ones, I don't think I could have done it. I got commissions for my brothers, big fox, & I. From artists I've adored for years & years. Even some animations. I'm glad for it.

1

JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 3h

My life is much-improved. I have begun the muscles of being able to take actions & do so directly. No need to juggle. No need to paw at anyone for business. I can just do it. & the art becomes the reward- carrot & stick both. What I yearn for. Most of all... My precious hobbies & loved ones...

JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 3h

At least not through catalogs. At least not until after October. I'm... so tired... I'm so flat. So much... chafing against the material conditions of the world & getting constant feedback from others that chafe & the constant judgment of "why would you spend more?" & the doldroms & compromises--

1

JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 3h

I'm making a commitment right here & now.

No more shopping. I did it. Somehow. SOMEHOW, over the last week of fighting & insecurity & crying & late nights & up early for deliveries & all that

I actually got every item that popped up like weeds in my head. 🌼

Every
Last
Tiny
Compulsion

Scratched
🌱

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JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 3h

Used the press of time to rapidly toss in a bunch of the random motes of Ideas into my cart. Down to the random tchotchkes, & some essentials for his visit. 🍑 Barely made a dent compared to the tablet. Wild what a tremendous paradigm shift a fat budget can do to decision making... haha... 💦

JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 3h

A sale that the red panda warned me about days ago
I caught it at the final hour.

An upgrade. Quite a significant upgrade. For my tablet. With my brother intending to buy one off me, I'll find some way for him to take one of my older ones. They want to draw. I want them to draw. With me... 💗

1

JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 3h

... So the first colossal shopping spree comes to a close.

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JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 3h

ugh am i really getting suckered by limited time junk

JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 7h

I MIGHT BE GETTING A LITTLE TOO BIG FOR MY BRITCHES THINKING I CAN LEAP UP TO XL FOR THE KNOTTY

JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 7h

Much as I owe many of the founders of a certain sculpting company a great deal of why I survived the itinerant life, their company has gotten a little too big for it's britches. So I'm doing business with more of it's competitors. We'll see who takes my commission. :3c

1

JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 8h

But if I don't like that idea I keep telling myself to get a tapestry just so that it doesn't start to feel like I've just got a pitch black cubicle wall closing in on me.

...

Much of my home is coming together. All that I want. Nothing that I don't...

Life is very good... 💗

JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 8h

Sure I'll be on the hunt for shadow boxes & wicker baskets near to me while I'm out. Some things need not be grasped so urgently. The few that I do are only twinkles of ideas, that perhaps need not grasping. Like this whiteboard behind my dresser thing? Hmm.

Cork board is more nice. Maybe magnet?

1

JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 8h

I slept much better last night, weird mechanical parole officer dreams besides.

Today blurred somewhat into the sludge that the last few weeks have been.

I'm making my second pot of coffee & knowing there's more of this rote stuff ahead, but that actually I am quite near to completing my task.

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JEALOUSEIZE @roostingphoenix.bsky.social · 9h

Will we ever be there for each other in the cold...? I don't understand how this happens over & over again.

Agh. Enough of that. I'm going to find whatever's on my list & get back to being here & goofing off & making art as fast as possible. It'll take more time than I expect, for sure. :3