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robbwitmer
@robbwitmer.info
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the guy who jumped through the wedding cake in the Guns n’ Roses “November Rain” music video ► robbwitmer.info
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many people are saying Star Wars really happened
the only way to save to democracy is to ask the president “what’s your response to the Democrats calling this corrupt?”
77 million people voted to destroy the United States of America because they thought they were exempt from the fallout
this is very similar to how I wrote the Weezer song Pork & Beans, but that’s all I’m legally allowed to say
I prefer moral panics
to be Satanic
had to bump it up to 5⭐️, an incredible piece of cinema
Saturday Night Live, season 51, episode 3 (2025)
the only reason we know about this is because DC allows a few dozen tourists per year to escape with their lives so that the legend spreads
Trump: "Washington DC was a deathtrap. People would come from Iowa and Idaho and Florida and they end up going home in a casket, right? They were killed. Now it's the safest city in the country."
radical left wing extremists in the deep state are a Disgrace and allow many bad Toilet things to happen, what we’re finding out is incredible, nobody’s ever seen Toilet Crimes like what going on and Americans, they say I can do whatever I want with the Toilets because I’m the Toilet President
many people are saying that you still have to flush the toilet too many times
trump said he was going to fix all the toilets, did he fix all the toilets?
Sir, we need help with our Toilets, I am crying very badly because my Toilet doesn’t flush with the proper American Greatness, only a president with the best Toilet Brain can lead this country
trump said he was going to fix all the toilets, did he fix all the toilets?
they call him the Toilet President because nobody has ever Toileted so strongly, he is commanding his Toilet like nobody has ever seen
parades? we’re talking about parades?!?
sounds like a question for your accountant tbh
Rfk Jr: Has anyone seen the new numbers we have on 65 year old sperm?

Joe rogan: It’s the kids I’m really worried about. specifically, their sperm

Dr Oz: This could be the reason for the crisis of Unbabied Americans

Rfk Jr: I declare this group chat to be Science
RFK Jr: "Today the average teenager in this country has 50% of the sperm count, 50% of the testosterone of a 65 year old man. Our girls are hitting puberty 6 years early ... our parents aren't having children."
they’re calling Ai the new whatever, and that it will internet very strongly
Trump: "We're dominating China. We're dominating with AI, which seems to be the new big thing. That's the new internet, that's the new whatever."
The Loser Republic
yeah, kinda like what Pentatonix does for Santa Claus
actually they are longtime collaborators
this is very easy to understand: they are bussing people from every city in the country into every other city in the country
This is a serious news organization and we serve the people by reporting hard-hitting facts like “What do politicians think about things other politicians said?” and “What does the general public think about things politicians say?” or “What’s something scary that might be happening somewhere?”
We’ve gathered the best journalists in the world and dispatched the MegaNews Helicopter to fly them high above & across Portland, and directly to the nearest elected Democrat so we can ask “What’s your reaction to the president saying that this city is burning down?”

It’s called the news, dummies
some people say that Portland is burning to the ground, others say it isn’t. who’s to say what’s true or false? we’re the newspaper
A classic case of irresponsible both-sidesism from the NYT. The story is that Trump and MAGA propagandists are lying about Portland to incite a conflict, not that there are different views of the matter.
I heard you don’t even feel it after the first one or two hundred million
I dunno, we probably shouldn’t give too much credit to the guy who declared Gaza was his personal property and that he plans to eradicate its population to build a luxury golf resort
Tyler Perry's Lamestream Madea