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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 4h

A wedding ring collector is found dead after drinking wine laced with slug pellets. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Holm’s cobblestone polisher, angry that a Hercule Poirot-inspired dance troupe might threaten supplies of goats head soup.

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 9h

An eccentric pensioner is found killed in a manner not specified in the TV guide this was copied from. Suspicion falls on Bachelors Bump’s amateur drama group, frightened that conflict between the village church and ancient pagan traditions might threaten the high street streetscape.

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 14h

A renowned lepidopterist is found bashed for six with a cricket bat. Suspicion falls on Stoats Wold’s strawberry-pickers association, disturbed that a museum dedicated to an obscure local poet might threaten the Midsomer Luxury Villas.

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 18h

a man in a suit and tie is being interviewed by a woman with britbox written on the bottom

ALT: a man in a suit and tie is being interviewed by a woman with britbox written on the bottom

media.tenor.com

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 19h

The village rascal is found slashed to death in the shower. Suspicion falls on Squirrel Leap’s queueing society, upset that the opening of a high-end wine bar might threaten the haggis eating competition.

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 1d

A retired astronaut is found starved to death following a no-deal Brexit. Suspicion falls on Angels Rise’s scarecrows, obsessed that a new boat ramp might threaten lace doily production levels.

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 1d

A retired astronaut is found decoupaged to a 1950s walnut veneer sideboard. Suspicion falls on Milton’s Cross’ wealthy industrialist, disturbed that the fall of the Roman Empire might threaten to disturb a wall of giant snails having nonstop sex.

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 1d

A horse podcaster is found chopped up and stuffed into a Conga drum. Suspicion falls on Fag End’s ghost, frightened that badger culling might threaten the Tower of London ravens.

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 1d

An elderly Batman fan is found with intestines smeared over the local stone circle. Suspicion falls on Bachelors Bump’s Cat Sanctuary owner, confused that dinner parties might threaten the upcoming librarian wine drinking festival.

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 1d

A petunia-growing horticulturalist is found thrown out of a double decker bus. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Stanton’s New Age commune, deeply concerned that scrap metal merchants might threaten an eel invasion.

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 2d

A person wearing druid robes is found murdered by an invisible hand. Suspicion falls on Holby’s taxidermists’ club, frightened that watered-down vodka might threaten to ruin Joyce Barnaby’s casserole from one of Delia’s cookbooks.

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 2d

A local archaeologist is found burst open, crushed between movable shelving. Suspicion falls on Wideopen’s Mosley appreciation society, worried that midnight rituals might threaten otters.

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 2d

A vertically challenged skyscraper architect is found wrapped in toilet roll like an Egyptian mummy. Suspicion falls on Many Crooks’ ice cream van driver, obsessed that low vitamin D levels in vampires might threaten reruns of Are You Being Served.

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 2d

The second reviewer of a philosophy paper is found crushed by an elephant. Suspicion falls on Watership’s taxidermists’ club, disturbed that a rogue peacock might threaten the closure of a celebrity-run surgery.

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 2d

An antique dealer is found slumped over a historically significant sundial. Suspicion falls on Malham Bridge’s leader of the local Miners’ Strike re-enactment society, obsessed that shady goings on in condiments factories might threaten to make the sun set on the British Empire.

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 3d

An Australian historian of the Scots is found dead inside a cheese vending machine. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Abbas’ chapter of the Ayn Rand society, confused that the fall of the Roman Empire might threaten to reveal that due to an off-by-one error, the meaning of life is actually 43.

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 3d

A Michelin chef who hates truffles is found permanently socially distanced in extremum. Suspicion falls on Hyannisports’ retired sunset watchers, upset that marmalade might threaten the local deer sanctuary.

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 3d

An underappreciated archivist is found pushed off of London Bridge. Suspicion falls on Bow Clayton’s Brexiteers, disturbed that the rise of artificial intelligence might threaten the Tower of London ravens.

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 3d

An unpaid intern at a funeral home is found stabbed in heart with chef's knife after having a stroke. Suspicion falls on Fletcher’s Cross’ resident garden Jay, worried that a bungled vaccine rollout might threaten recycling of plots by British crime show writers.

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 3d

A neurotic Jungian is found mauled by a rabid badger. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Wellow’s bowls club, obsessed that crows stealing and moving balls on the 15th hole might threaten drone deliveries.

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 4d

An organist who’d pulled out all the stops is found slain in a baroque fashion. Suspicion falls on Martyr Warren’s microbiologist, worried that low vitamin D levels in vampires might threaten supplies of English breakfast tea.

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 4d

An elderly Batman fan is found scrambled in a large bowl of eggs. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Magna’s teenagers wearing hoodies, angry that Daily Mail readers might threaten to overshadow the sheepdog trials.

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 4d

A violinist who loves playing in B♭ harmonic minor is found shot six times by a man on the run. Suspicion falls on Little Auburn’s P&C association, obsessed that the new sugar tax might threaten to alter the pudding recipe.

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 4d

A local mayor is found nailed to a barge. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Barrow’s Communist Party chapter, worried that lowering standards in the soft fruit industry might threaten to reduce the population of Midsomer to a vicar and six pig farmers.

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Midsomer Murders plots @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social · 4d

A headstone inscriber is found dead at the bottom of the church tower, wearing a leopard print bikini. Suspicion falls on Giggleswick’s chief medical officer, worried that all-encompassing whiteness might threaten to reveal the name of Dr Who.

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